Born For Geekdom

We Need To Talk About Anjelica Huston

2012-01-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

Huston in "Smash"

Anjelica Huston onscreen is one word. Power. When I misbehaved recently on a work day and decided to take a Hulu break, the preview for "Smash" popped up in my queue. "Smash" is a new NBC series that follows the creation of a Broadway show based on the life of Marilyn Monroe. Musicals and Marilyn? Um...I was in. I pressed play without hesitation.

But this isn't a review of "Smash". Though I would highly recommend that you watch it. The show has an ease of pace and that goosebump-inducing goodness that only a great showtune can bring. But it also has something else...Anjelica Huston. Just the sight of her literally makes me sit up and pay attention anytime I see her face or hear her voice. There is a shot in "Smash" of Anjelica Huston defiantly walking down a hallway and it gave me the chills.

Her character on the show is Eileen Rand, a soon-to-be ex-wife whose husband is trying to shut her down and shut her up in every way, steal her passion and prevent her from producing a "My Fair Lady" revival on Broadway. But Rand is determined to produce something, so she secretly sets all the wheels in motion on the Marilyn musical. It's a new project she can dump all of her energy and frustration into and watching Huston portray a character who is so good at what they do is exhilarating.

Every second Huston spends onscreen is captivating.

One of my mentors, writer Jill Christman, used to approach inspiration from a psychological standpoint. Her theory was that us creative types tend to obsess and fixate. Rather than fight that, we should indulge it and try to get to the root of our obsession so we can channel that obsessive energy into something productive. (Think of the fanboy and fangirl lives that this theory could change...can you imagine a world where every fangirl was productive? There might be world peace in three weeks.)

So what is it with me and Anjelica Huston? Let me think over some of her roles that spring to mind first...

Exhibit A: I was eight when The Addams Family movie came out. If you read this blog, then you know I had a family that would happily slog to our local cinema to see just about anything. You can bet we were front and center for that one. How did the movie impact me? On Halloween the next year, I was Morticia Addams.

She was sarcastic, like the women in my family. She was secure and affectionate and she completely embraced her weirdness...also like the women in my family. Chalk one dose of early influence up to Anjelica Huston. Though I guess I should be disturbed that such a dark and gothic character held a mirror up to the matriarchs of my family?

Moving along...

Exhibit B: The films of Wes Anderson had a huge impact on me during my early adulthood. The Royal Tenenbaums (For which my husband and I dubbed our Manx "Royal".) and The Life Aquatic in particular feature Huston in characters that showcase her full power. She is complex, resolute and if I may say so...more than a little badass. (There's a great shot of her in a speedboat that I can't find of Google images, but it sort of says it all about her character.)

Huston in her roles as Ethel Tenenbaum and Eleanor Zissou are foibles to the man-children that populate Wes Anderson's movies. Huston plays both of those characters as patient but with a line that can't be crossed. Ethel and Eleanor are both exasperated by the slow speed of the people around them. Both characters are so intelligent that they can't help but face a life of frustration. Who could partner with a woman like that and hope to keep up? Well, according to the films...no one.

These are magic movies for me, I ramble on about them a lot. But so much of that magic comes from Anjelica Huston and her almost ethereal screen presence and impeccable comedic timing.

Exhibit C: Huston once had a long guest arc on the show Medium. She brought the exact same toughness for which she is frequently cast, but with a new twist on the theme. Her character, Cynthia Keener, is a private investigator with secret motivations. And her story arc doesn't have a nice neat ending, but it does have a satisfying one. Sorry to be cryptic, but I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it. It's one of my favorite A-list guest arcs on a TV series.

But this Huston character is far more vulnerable. She's peeling like wallpaper. She's on the edge at all times. Still powerful, but that power is seeping through the cracks of a fragmented woman and it's not under control at all.

So I guess what I'm getting at here, if I look for the commonalities in the things that I say I love about her performances, is that Angelica Huston is one heck of an actress. Even her supporting role in Woody Allen's hilarious "Manhattan Murder Mystery" steals the show.

Again and again she gives layered performances. She weaves together characters as complex and authentic as anyone you might meet on the street. She portrays contradictions and convictions very well. And let's face it...she's gorgeous.

Someone, write AH an action movie.
NOW.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm obsessed with action heroines. Give me gunplay and swordfights onscreen or give me death. (There's another blog for that entirely...but I'm thinking of combining that one and this one.) Anjelica Huston is sort of like the Shakespearean version of an action heroine. She has all the toughness, the signature eyebrow-raise and the dominance of Ripley from Alien. But she tempers it all with realism.

In my favorite Anjelica Huston performances, she portrays strong characters almost like bubbling pots. The strength is always there, but it's kept under a tight lid of self-control. Which it could be said, is another form of strength after all.

I try to go about my fangirl-ness with academic reasoning. Mostly because, well, it makes me feel a little bit less crazy for my obsessive tendencies. But the truth is, sometimes something just gets to your core. I can try to rationalize my obsessions by thinking of building them into essay collections or convention presentations. (And that's what I'm working on now.)

But ah, here is another tie to why I might be obsessing over Huston at the moment.

Have you ever seen her play an airhead? I haven't. Can I tell you the truth about something? This is a real confession here and it's just dawning on me. I dumb myself down. A lot. Because I'm embarrassed by my need to delve in such pretentious academic ways. I'm annoying when I voice my whole train of thought. I over-think movies and TV. I know I do. But it's how my brain really functions. It's what I love to think about and talk about. I've been hidden and unfriended from facebook for what people perceive is my pretentiousness. And I really don't mean to be! But the result of all that, is that I try to self-censor a lot more than I used to.

Eleanor Zissou would never lie about
AP English...oh the shame...

You know even back in Junior High, I lied about honors English being too difficult for me so I could change lunch periods and join some of my friends who were annoyed that my honors English class put me on a different schedule. (And the class was a piece of cake.) That one lie changed the entire course of my education and it still kills me when I think about it.

Anjelica Huston plays concentrated roles. Power. Strength. Intelligence. There's never a drop of compromise. That's part of what draws me to her performances.

I am no Anjelica Huston. And I don't think I'm better or smarter than anyone, but can I just tell you, that people think I think that a lot. If you follow. So maybe I see something truly admirable in Huston's roles. Something cathartic in that, "I am the way I am." thread that follows her through most of her films and TV appearances. Without going into specifics, I'll just say, I wish I could be that brave. I wish I didn't frustrate people or annoy them. I wish I didn't care so much. That my chest didn't fill with that kind of angry heat when I start talking about feminism in film. That being driven and passionate and knowing how you want something to go didn't automatically translate to "bossy" or "pushy". I wish I cared about something else. Maybe I can retrain myself at some point. How on Earth will I ever use talking about movies and TV to make the world a better place?

Help me Anjelica Huston,
you're my only hope...

This is getting really whiny and weird. How did that happen? Kudos to Jill Christman for creating a method of digging into your inspirations that leads to self-revelation. Who knew that watching a TV show could lead to reading the bones. I didn't know I was going to be writing about any of this when I started blogging this morning. But there it is...apparently, I have some issues to work through right now.

It should also be noted that I'm living under a mountain of work at the moment and I get creatively back-logged which leads to these odd entries. I used to write polished up little lists of things, in the good old days when I could focus. It was originally just supposed to be a list of my favorite Anjelica Huston roles and look what happened...

More than anything else, the truth is that I just think Anjelica Huston is amazing. Classy, lovely and gifted. And what kind of fangirl would I be if I couldn't just appreciate good art for art's sake?

For years, I've cited Morticia Addams as a role model of mine. As I get older, that remains true. But lately, I'm realizing that it's Anjelica Huston, the woman under the makeup, that inspires me much more. Such a cheesy ending. But there it is.

Parody Rock and Mikey Mason's "Impotent Nerd Rage"

2012-01-25T08:20:00.000-08:00

Ah...parody rock. The true cornerstone of any healthy marriage.

No wait, that's not right...

To parody anything well, you must first be good at the actual thing you intend to send up.

Yes, that's the thing.

Imagine a Mel Brooks movie that was poorly edited, had a sloppy script or was miscast in some way. Try to picture "Young Frankenstein" with a confusing plot.

Humor only plays when fine-tuned and delivered in a specific format that the audience can understand and enjoy. If they have to ask questions about it along the way, then what's the point? And I know all of this amazing academic sounding stuff about humor because I am an expert at messing up jokes.

When I heard Mikey Mason's album "Impotent Nerd Rage" for the first time and actually sat back to listen instead of thinking about the sound design or his writing process or any other number of technical details, I knew I was going to be able to relax and enjoy.

Most great parody rock is not-so-secretly and legitimately good rock to begin with. There's nothing funny about bad music. Just ask Nickelback. (I'm sorry, cheap shot, I couldn't resist...) But when I listen to Flight of the Conchords, I don't just find the replay value in the punchlines. I find it in the music.

But let's face it, most humor comes from making fun of stuff. So if you're going to point the finger of blame, you better have your stuff together. And Mikey Mason does. Not only does he pay equal parts tribute and punishment to geek culture, he also includes himself within the punchlines. It's obvious to anyone who listens that he writes from years and years of nerd devotion to things like Star Wars, Firefly, etc.

And "Impotent Nerd Rage" lets everyone in on the joke. This isn't an album making fun of nerds. (Well, maybe a little. But in that Dean Martin roasty way, not in that traumatic jr. high school gym class incident kind of way.) It's an album for us. It's full of inside jokes, and if someone else doesn't get them, then THEY are the nerds. Take that everyone I knew in fifth grade! I now have music specifically written for my chosen subculture! What do you have? Nothing, NOTHING I SAY!

I'm sorry...sometimes I spiral out of control like a Jon Lovitz character when I dwell on days of yore.

With songs like, "She Don't Like Firefly" (Which you may have already heard, as it went viral.) "Too Fat To Troop" and the titular "Impotent Nerd Rage", Mason undulates between the purposefully cheeky send-ups of Weird Al (The widely acknowledged godfather of geek rock.) to the genuine need to rock out like Tenacious D. The album has a signature sound of it's own instead of trying to parody the precise song structure of others. Though I also detect hints of some serious late seventies/early eighties nostalgia in some of the echoing ballads infused with electric guitar.

And also there are notes of...what is that? Oak? Oak and chocolate?

You know what? I'm not a music critic. I know geekdom. And so does Mikey Mason. If you're reading this blog, you'll enjoy his Battlestar Galactica references and the fact that his songs sometimes send up our reference-filled realities and other times sings about the incongruous fantasy of seeing yourself as a stormtrooper and the reality of not being able to fit into your costume.

And also, this album totally doesn't suck. Which I like. The music is quality, the guy can sing and play and not to be captain cliche or anything...but I found myself wanting more. At the end of some tribute albums (And God help me, concerts at sci-fi conventions...I'm sorry, but sometimes tribute bands are the WORST.) you're glad it's over. Bad geek rock is the same as bad stand up or bad cabaret music or bad anything. You just cringe your way through it and hope to never hear it again.

But good geek rock (and good anything) leaves you wanting more. I wonder what will happen with Mikey Mason as his career moves forward, as he continues to develop his sound, his niche, and his style? And if you check out his 2012 touring schedule...holy moly...this man works hard for the money. So you'll certainly have many chances to see for yourself.

Bottom line? Good musician + genuine love of geekdom = something good. No fail. Give it a listen, see what you think. If you go searching for Mikey Mason on YouTube, you'll also see some of his smashing live performances from his extensive touring.

I don't feel done posting awesome music.

The Strange and Wonderful Magic of Wes Anderson and his "Moonrise Kingdom"

2012-01-16T14:37:00.000-08:00

I just watched the trailer for Wes Anderson's next movie "Moonrise Kingdom" for the first time and I feel like I have to write about it immediately. Wes Anderson movies, to me, are as significant as major life events. I know that's really pretentious. But there it is. And I will never see the trailer for "Moonrise Kingdom" for the first time ever again. If you follow. So I want to get it out now, while my thoughts are fresh.

I just posted a couple of days ago about how I don't know what to do with "Born For Geekdom" anymore. When I started it back in 2008, like the rest of the free geek world, I wanted to be the next Wil Wheaton. The problem with that is, I was never on "Star Trek: The Next Generation". Why didn't somebody TELL me?! But by the grace of the Evenstar, the power of GraySkull, the magic earrings of Gem or something...I managed a pretty decent career in freelance writing for a few years anyway. Then I went to grad school and wrote a book. Then...well, then is now. And that's another matter.

I got a really sweet comment from someone on my last blog that said the thought that this blog might flatline really ruined their day. I've never had someone tell me before that a lack of my writing (or potential lack of my writing) could ruin someone's day. Is it sick that this brightened my spirits?

Then I realized, I'm not posting here lately because aside from being so busy that I go to bed every night with all my makeup on and I catch myself regularly agonizing about whether or not I have time to put socks on (Not a joke.), I'm just plain creatively drained. I see so many things coming and going in the world of film and television that absolutely light a fire in my center, but like most writers, I ask myself, "Who cares what I have to say about that?"

Then I stumbled upon the "Moonrise Kingdom" trailer via a friend's facebook page. (That's you Jen.) And watching it brought all my emotional debris to the top of the surface. Why movies can do that to me like nothing else, I'll never know. But they can just crack me open like a walnut. And I'm past the age of wanting to figure out why that is. It's just who I am.

"Moonrise Kingdom" looks to be a pure and concentrated dose of what Anderson does best. To me, he represents ultimate creativity. From the vivid colors (Yellows, Aquas, Pinks) in his movies, to his plots filled with wandering man-children, intentionally phony sets, trademark Mothersbaugh compositions (Yes, I did that on purpose.) and strong and steely female characters, something about his sensibilities feeds me dorky little soul.

He somehow manages to get away with this wacky whimsical hyperbole while simultaneously capturing authentic emotions in his characters. HOW does he do that? I mean, just imagine any other filmmaker in the world pitching a Wes Anderson plot. Think of a J.J. Abrams or even Martin Scorcese telling a studio, "Listen, I want to make this movie about a Jacques Cousteau-like character whose best friend gets eaten by a shark. It'll be an ensemble cast with claymation cutaways to fake sea creatures and a chase scene with guns and pirates and an entire soundtrack filled with Portugese versions of David Bowie songs. Okay?"

After security was called, there would be talk of prescription medication abuse. I mean, Anderson's movies are so wonderfully weird. They're near incalculable. They just work because they do. And trying to explain them or reverse engineer them only complicates the process for all of us normals. Wes Anderson is an auteur who just does what he feels is right and he somehow lucked out/worked hard enough for long enough to find people who were kindred enough to trust him just long enough for him to finish a few short films and then Bottle Rocket and now he has license to do what he wants creatively.

Even George Lucas had to pay for his latest film "Red Tails" because the studios wouldn't back an action film with an all-black cast. Or so said Lucas in a recent interview on The Daily Show. The studios wouldn't back a GEORGE LUCAS MOVIE. (And of ALL the reasons...shame on you studios. Shame.) Even Captain Cash Cow couldn't get a dream project made. So I find myself wondering sometimes, by what strange and wonderful magic did Wes Anderson find a safe enough place to do his thing unhindered long enough to launch and where can I get some of that? (It must be wrought from the same pixie dust that shows up onscreen in his vintage film stock and his eclectic retro soundtracks.)

My husband and I fell in love over Wes Anderson movies, by the way. We warmed ourselves to their weirdness like a couple on some dusty old record cover from the sixties sitting by a fire. In the freezing cold of a zero-degree Indiana winter, we talked over Anderson's plots like two criminals going over blueprints before a mission. I listened to almost nothing but Seu Jorge well into that spring (Which was 2004 if you're counting.) and David Bowie's "Life on Mars" exactly a zillion times.

I've been so out of the loop here in Florida that I hadn't even heard of "Moonrise Kingdom" until yesterday. When I clicked that darling little play button to watch the trailer an hour or so ago, I felt, well...as Darth Vader would say, "I sense something. A presence I haven't felt since..."

A creative presence I haven't felt bubbling since standing in a now-demolished theater lobby on a candy run during "The Life Aquatic" with the man who would be my future husband. Did you catch all that? I didn't.

When I heard the children's choir in this latest preview, when I saw the trademark yellows and aquas, when I heard the kids plotting to run away together in Anderson's dry dialogue delivery style, when I saw the blessed Bill Murray shuffling around shirtless with an axe in his hand, it just made me feel like everything was going to be okay again. Even though I don't know how. (Usually I come up with a plan for moments like these. Some kind of creative rehab for myself. But this time, I've got nothin'. No 20 movies in 20 days list. No plan for what to quit or what to start. No real ideas whatsoever.)

Wes Anderson movies are sort of like all the magic of make-believe put into a movie. The stories almost always involve people who either can't or won't grow up, characters who refuse to acknowledge that they are at a crossroads that will force them to make some tough decisions, and lost people trying to lay claim to old glories. And I wonder why they're hitting me so hard right now...hmm...

The trailer for "Moonrise Kingdom" made me feel like wearing my eyeliner like Margot Tenenbaum, like buying a light blue track suit and a red sock cap, and it made me feel like putting on my Mothersbaugh playlist. I just needed to no-holds-barred love something again. Like, Hobbit behind-the-scenes videos love. They made me want to fly my freak flag again. But I have to find the stupid thing first.

Some days I think Jake and I should run away to Austin, Texas or Winnetka, Illinois to try to be obnoxious independent filmmakers. Some days I think we need to bite the bullet and start our own production company. Some days I want to forget video forever and go back to writing full time. Some days, all I want to do with video is make funny short films and start a kickstarter account to make a real movie. Some days, I would honest to God really rather just put my all into supporting my sister's writing, acting as her agent and promoter, taking her on the convention scene, etc. In other words, I need to grow up and make some decisions. And just so we're clear, I know how excruciating the whining is, trust me, it's rattling around in my head all day long.

Where's the application for obnoxious hipster who just wants to make art and finish their tattoos? That's probably the one I really need to fill out. The truth is, I think I'm more like THESE PEOPLE than I would care to admit.

But the "Moonrise Kingdom" trailer was medicinal for me. I know I have problems focusing and making up my mind. I know what I have to do at the end of the day. Make some executive decisions and then move forward in a calm and orderly fashion. I just need the energy to do it. And this trailer put a little gas in my tank.

What's your emotionally unhindered movie love and what does it give you?

Help! I'm filled with ennui! Send cookies!

2012-01-14T21:30:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to do with good old Born For Geekdom here at the start of 2012. I'm in a state of overly dramatic blogging self-introspection! (Is there any other kind?) What to do with a blog now entering it's fifth year? More interviews, movie reviews, memoir? Do I keep writing here even though my life has filled up with days of shooting and editing? (Oops, I kind of started a career. How did THAT happen?) Do I somehow narrow the focus of BFG? Do I funnel all these long, silly years of blogging into some larger, more concentrated effort that would make better use of my time?

I want to say yes, I miss writing like you wouldn't believe. But I literally don't have the time. But I know I need to make the time. See? I told you! Next I'm going to "start getting ideas, thinking..."

While I think about it, I'll just listen to this on repeat. That'll solve the problem, right? Right.

Holiday Movie Wrap-Up & Why "Young Adult" Caused Controversy Amid Critics

2011-12-27T12:51:00.000-08:00

WARNING! Spoiler-heavy blog entry!

Through the joy of gift certificates and discounts, I was able to see three of this year's holiday movie offerings. I finally took in The Muppets, Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows and Young Adult. Thanks to our holiday surplus, we're also planning to see the latest Mission Impossible soon too.

As for The Muppets, I ignored all the press before seeing the movie. I felt happy just to see them onscreen again. But I can understand some of the reactions of the dissatisfied. I guess while I was watching, I wasn't imagining that we were seeing the real Muppets. Rather just another show they were putting on together. I imagined them calling cut and all the Muppets hanging out together in between takes. So I didn't have that same visceral "Kermit wouldn't live alone in a mansion!" kickback that many others did. I did tear up at most of the Jim Henson references, I was kind of expecting Steve Martin to pop up at some point and I did cry like an emotionally unstable little baby (Are there any other kind?) when they started singing, "It's time to start the music..."

I feel like a lot of people were maybe unprepared for the small scope of the movie. But if you look back, lots of the Muppet movies are small in scale. Maybe it's only that they felt bigger when we were kids. I liked the focus on the show, the theater, the juxtaposition of that trademark Muppet optimism vs. the gritty reality of show business. (Though it is ironic that the villain of the movie sort of threatens to do exactly what Disney has already done, buy the Muppet name and merchandise it into oblivion.)

Maybe it's because I saw it on Christmas night. Maybe it's because I was with good friends. Whatever the reason, I was able to relax and enjoy. I was also able to understand Frank Oz's script frustrations. Though, I think way too much was made of his few public sentences about why he didn't want to be involved. (Can't we be forgiving of the pioneer who maybe just didn't feel like working with the material again?) The truth is, they'll never be the same as they were when they were in Jim's hands. If you can let that go, you can and will enjoy The Muppets.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows was fantastic. As a lover of the original Sherlock stories, I've enjoyed all the recent Sherlock revivals. (Though Sherlock is so frequently portrayed, I guess it's unfair to call two movies and a BBC series a "revival". The master detective is always around, isn't he?) To me, Sherlock stories, original and new, are always easy to enjoy. Because it's classic fiction, it's open to interpretation. Fair game, I say. It's why I never have a problem with multiple comic book movies. Classic characters belong to all of us, so the more versions we can see of them the better.

Game of Shadows was all fun, all the time. A modern take on an amalgamation of classic stories done in Guy Ritchie's signature style. The sequel followed the golden rule of amping up the action, the pacing, the jokes and the stakes. And more than a few of us giggled like nerds when first mention of "Reichenbach Falls" was made. We knew what was coming. The Roma culture was portrayed colorfully and real Roma music was used during their scenes. This is one I'll see again if I have the chance.

But my viewing marathon was taking place while a little drama of my own was unfolding in my private film world. (What, you don't have one of those? You should get one, private film worlds are fun.)

I've talked about this before, but I belong to a women's critical association, the WFCC. At this time every year, the WFCC's award results are released and inevitably, every single year, major drama unfolds following the release of those results. Comments sections blow up. Sentiments of "Oh, they just don't get it" resound across the internet. Plenty of critics associations release their rewards this time of year before the official award season starts. To be fair, awards will always draw ire. Because that insinuates there are losers and there's nothing more fun for movie geeks (I would know, I am one.) than to argue with each other about movies. It's what we do. It's who we are. So some drama is to be expected. It's fair.

But amid the dozens of critical associations, the WFCC seems to draw the most wicked barbs. Why? Because all the critics are women. Despite the fact that ever since film has existed, the majority of critics and critical associations have been comprised of men, there is something really rage-inducing for some people about the fact that a group of women would come together to give out their own awards. I never heard the same complaints about Siskel and Ebert. NOBODY ever said, "Oh, they're just giving that a thumbs up because they're men!" And yet, that's most of the response the WFCC awards generate on the internet.

Mavis is steeped in commercialism,
buying everything aimed at her
age-group and younger. We
see her frequently in stores,
watching commercials.

Of course, it's more complex than that. A good way to introduce you to the drama would be to give you a way in. This year, there's been a lot of disagreement over a couple of specific nominations. Over a week ago, I started to get the arguments in my inbox over "Young Adult".

There's a "Worst Female Images" award given out by the WFCC every year. This film was nominated and several members of the WFCC disagreed with that nomination. It did not win the award. In my opinion, that's a big relief.

When I saw "Young Adult" I initially left the theater feeling dissatisfied, robbed of a concrete conclusion. You've been warned, I spoil everything in this blog. Stop reading if you haven't seen the movie.

Charlize Theron's character, Mavis, as written by Diablo Cody and directed by Jason Reitman, is essentially unredeemable. Or rather, she chooses not to seek redemption. She goes through, what for any other person, would be a life-changing mental breakdown. A long-time-coming moment where she could confront ghosts that have been haunting her for years. She runs back to her hometown during a moment of weakness in an attempt to win back her high school boyfriend, despite the fact that he's happily married with a new baby. (Not coincidental timing, as we find out at the climax of the film, that Mavis was once pregnant with his baby and miscarried. Something she has never rebounded from emotionally. It's what has stunted her growth as an adult.)

Mavis is also a raging alcoholic. She admits it out loud at one point. She drinks CONSTANTLY in the movie. As I processed the film after watching, what struck me was that this was a character deep in the throws of her alcoholic lifestyle. She's quite ill. Is she superficial? Yes. Is she nasty? Very much so. She's a character in crisis, but she's also a character in denial. One of the major symptoms of alcoholism.

Oswalt's character "Matt" shares some of Mavis' immaturity
and stunted emotional growth, but for very
different reasons.

I always ask myself after seeing a movie, what did that movie have to say? What was it really about? Immediately following the film, my knee jerk reaction was, "This movie has nothing to say." It's because I was mad at Mavis, angry at her treatment of Patton Oswalt's character Matt. But I couldn't have been more wrong. What I was feeling was the weight of effective storytelling. GOOD writing from a literary point of view where there wasn't a happy ending. But I can understand how the feeling of frustration that the story evokes might lead a female critic to nominate it for Worst Female Images in the heat of the moment.

But unlike many frustratingly sexist movies, Mavis is not the only woman in the film. There are four well-balanced, quirky, interesting young mothers who have their own band, good relationships with other women and who pity Mavis. There are two older mothers of adults who can see Mavis' breakdown coming a mile away and try to help her. There's a best friend at the very beginning of the film who looks at Mavis through nervous eyes, even she sees that the storm clouds are gathering.

To me, Worst Female Images in movies are those that are frustratingly one-dimensional or achingly stereotypical. There is nothing one-dimensional about any of the characters in Young Adult. In fact, the story is more slice-of-life, complex and well-layered than most movies ever even try for. Some of the most insulting, simpering female characters I watch are in big shiny romantic comedies. Is Mavis a good, moral character? Absolutely not. But good, moral characters that have nothing to discover or relate to an audience don't make for very entertaining movies, do they? And Mavis is only one of two women in the film who seems unwilling to confront reality.

The other is Matt's sister, who upon seeing Mavis for the first time in years gets giddy excited and reminds Mavis that she once baked her Rice Krispies in high school, and then demands praise for such a simplistic action twenty years later. Clearly, she still wants to be one of the cool kids. But every other woman in the film has a firm grasp on her sanity.

"Young Adult" ends with an eerie song choice playing over the credits. "When We Grow Up" by Diana Ross can be taken one of two ways. The repeated strains of "I don't have to change at all" are sort of left to the viewer's interpretation. Did Mavis discover that she doesn't have to change for the people back home in a positive way or a negative way? From where I was sitting, it was more of a dark realization. Mavis is going to choose to walk away, unchanged, from what should've been her moment to confront everything. Her alcoholism, her neediness, her inability to have a meaningful relationship with a man and her unrelenting vanity. (By the way, there's one tender moment that makes you hope for Mavis redemption. All I'll say is this, I've never cried at a love scene until I saw this movie.)

But what Young Adult wants to tell us is, not everybody makes that choice. Not everyone chooses to better themselves or put others first in a relationship. In other words, this movie tells us an uncomfortable truth and holds a mirror up to the realities of vanity, self-centeredness and alcoholism. (Not to insinuate that alcoholism is like a personality disorder.) It serves a different purpose than a populist, escapist, feel-good romantic comedy. And to me, that's okay. Because not all movies have to serve the same purpose.

I'd like to see Young Adult embraced by audiences. Watch a movie that challenges you. Watch a movie that people are arguing over. Watch a movie that forces you to think after the credits roll. Diablo Cody wrote a stunning screenplay, one that almost purposefully seems to, at first glance, plant some misdirected
clues. (Mavis is recently divorced, Mavis pulls her own hair out of her scalp, Mavis watches nothing but "Keeping up with the Kardashians", Mavis impulsively drives back to her hometown because she wakes up feeling blue one morning, Mavis dresses purposefully provocative.) At the end of the film, these small mentions and glimpses of things add up to one big "a-ha". The haze of alcohol. All the loose threads can be explained by Mavis' drinking problem.

The last conversation Mavis has in the film is with Matt's sister, the only person in town who still wants desperately to win Mavis' approval. What Mavis needs is someone to tell her the truth. That she has no right to look down on the people of her small town. That she is cocky and self-deluded. That she can change and have a more fulfilling life if she'll stop looking back, Uncle Rico style, to what she thinks were her glory days in high school.

Instead, Matt's sister enables Mavis, tells her she is awesome. She lives in a cool place, she has a cool job and she has shaken the dust and losers of her hometown off. Mavis thanks her and says, "I needed that." When Matt's sister asks Mavis to take her back to Minneapolis, Mavis turns to her and says, "No. You're good here." This tell us, Mavis will return unchanged. She's going to retreat to the idea that life is like high school and she came out on top, never confronting the realities and complexities of her own choices.

This is the dramatic equivalent of the killer popping up at the end of the story and finishing off the last survivor. It's not a happy ending. But it says a lot more than a happy ending would have. And let's face it, we all know a Mavis or two or three. We encounter them at our high school reunions and we meet them anew in our everyday lives and work situations. There will always be people who never see themselves as the villain, even as they perpetuate everything from minor selfishness to horrific crimes. There's always someone who thinks they are vastly superior to everyone around them. Mavis sees herself as the heroine of one of the young adult fiction books she pens instead of the broken human being she has become.

Whether Mavis was a narcissist, an alcoholic or both is up to the viewer. But "Young Adult" offered me the diversity of female characters I'm always begging for and more than that, it gave me something different. For that reason alone, it deserves an award.

What did you see over the holidays? Better yet, what's the last movie that made you angry and why?

The 25 Days of Christmas Movie Countdown

2011-12-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

Unsung Christmas classic, "The Long Kiss Goodnight"

This is a challenge I don't even think I can live up to...and I'm pretty obsessive about movies. But should you be brave enough to try to find the time to watch roughly fifty hours of movies in the already-packed month of December, here's your guide to a holiday movie a day until Christmas.

Easing Into the Christmas Movies - You've got to pace yourself. I like to start with movies that only include Christmas as one element within a larger story. It's best to fight cinematic holiday fatigue by starting with these four...

Dec. 1^st – Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Dec. 2^nd – Funny Farm

Dec. 3^rd – Sleepless in Seattle

Dec. 4^th – Serendipity

Action and Comedy – Think of action and comedy movies that involve Christmas as cinematic appetizers. Because the truth is, once you start watching the classics, there's sort of no going back tonally-speaking. So keep the mood light to start.

Dec. 5^th – The Long Kiss Goodnight

Dec. 6^th – Die Hard

Dec. 7^th - Scrooged

Dec. 8^th – Mixed Nuts

Dec. 9^th – Love Actually

Dec. 10^th – The Santa Clause

Dec. 11^th – A Christmas Story

Warming Up to the Classics – After the smorgasbord of sarcasm, action violence and wacky early nineties comedy, you might even be feeling a little bit guilty. Now is a good time to start diving into the heavier material.

Dec. 12^th – Miracle on 34^th Street

Dec. 13^th – The Greatest Story Ever Told

The Burton Block – Beautiful, haunting, creative and original. These stylized holiday classics...yeah, I called them classics, can give you a break from the holiday cliches confronting you all day, every day at this point.

Dec. 14^th – Edward Scissorhands

Dec. 15^th – Nightmare Before Christmas

Cry It Out – Relieve some of your holiday stress with a good-old-fashioned Beaches-style cry-fest. Go into the final push toward Christmas feeling grateful for your family. Go on. Let it out. You'll cry now and then during our next block of movies for sure. But those will be happy tears. These are palate-cleansing tears.

Dec. 16^th – The Family Stone

Classics and Neo-Classics – These are the movies you will watch. No matter what. They've become regulars for a reason.

Dec. 17^th – Holiday Inn

Dec. 18^th – A Christmas Carol – (Albert Finney's version)

Dec. 19^th – Muppet's Christmas Carol

Dec. 20^th - ELF

Dec. 21^st - How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - I know, they're not technically movies, but combined, they make a great movie night.

Dec. 22^nd – White Christmas

Dec. 23^rd – Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Dec. 24^th – National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Dec. 25^th – It's A Wonderful Life

Bonus Movie - If you pride yourself on your endurance, I challenge you to watch the Rifftrax version of "The Star Wars Holiday Special". You NEVER knew a movie could be so absurd, but you'll also never laugh as hard as you will watching it with the Rifftrax crew.

There are many movies that didn't make this list...what are the movies you won't miss this month?

Larry Longstreth and Mark Ordesky Talk Film, Creativity and the Magic of the Eighties - Part Two

2011-11-27T10:02:00.000-08:00

Larry Longstreth

I've been saving the second half of my interview with filmmaker Larry Longstreth and producer Mark Ordesky. We first spoke on the phone all the way back in September when they were promoting the DVD release of their film The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something. (What's that? You're Christmas shopping you say? Well then...)

When we talked, I knew that Larry and Mark were already planning a series of other projects. The press has a nasty habit of only paying attention to what's happening right in that very millisecond. But the projects Larry is working on under his Eddy Spaghetti production banner are worthy of your attention, especially now when he's smack in the middle of working on them. (You can find the production company on facebook for updates.)

In the works and already happening are an animated series called Four Tanks and a Healer that already premiered on theonering.net, an animated feature called The Wanderer King, a documentary called Before the World Goes Boom, and an animated pilot called Captain Wilcox vs. The End of the World.

Did I mention that Larry and his team are essentially moving forward on all of these projects at once? In some way, each of these projects is in their own stage of development. Did I mention that Larry lives in the Midwest? Not Los Angeles or New York. The Midwest.

My hope is that this will inspire you. I directed a successful actress in a small project recently who shall remain nameless, but she tells this great anecdote about "making it". She says she was once sitting in a golf cart with Tom Wilkinson for hours waiting for the weather to clear on a shoot. They talked about life and he told her the one secret to making it. (I like to think he held his finger up like Jack Palance's "Curly"...) The secret is...never quit. Eventually, as the years go by, if you just keep going no matter what, others will quit but you'll still be there. Doing what you love.

That made me laugh, but in a way Longstreth represents that kind of anecdotal tenacity. So many of us talk about the need to recapture the magic of the eighties. While we talk about it over beers, Larry talks it about it on his film sets or in development meetings. If the eighties was the generation of Spielberg and Lucas and Howard and magic aplenty...then we're the generation after them that has to figure out how to deal with that. How can we aspire to match that spirit without directly ripping it off or not doing it justice?

Longstreth is doing something about that and there's something extra exciting about the fact that he's doing it from the Midwest. Whether it's by choice or necessity, I don't know. But it adds just a touch of rebel sheen to the whole operation.

As I previously mentioned, this is the second half of our interview. Read the first half here and then check out the second part where we talk celebrity heroes, films of the eighties and yes...even a little Lord of the Rings. In the following interview - A: Audrey, M: Mark Ordesky, L: Larry Longstreth.

Spielberg directs Kate Capshaw in Indiana Jones and the
Temple of Doom.

A: What's the big celebrity hero that, if you could meet them tomorrow, you would just fall to pieces and turn into a really big embarrassing geek in front of them?

M: Wow...that's a good question. I have to give that a thought for a minute.

L: I never thought there was a celebrity I would just melt around. I think when I was a kid there were, but now I have a short list of people I would love to in some way work with or just watch work. Does that make sense?

A: Absolutely, as you get older...

L: I know he's gone now, but I always thought it would be so cool to see Paul Newman work.

M: Oh yeah.

A: Just to be around that...yeah.

L: And I would love to shadow Steven Spielberg quietly without him even knowing I was there so he wouldn't change anything. I would love to just spy on him and watch how he handles actors. How he talks to everybody. I'd like to watch the people I respect most work.

A: I'm like you, I watch a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff and Steven Spielberg always seems, as well as Peter Jackson actually, they seem to have such happy sets. That's the thing...I'm always thinking, “How do you have such a happy set?”

M: Yeah, for sure. By the way, happy sets, that's how you get...I mean, all filmmaking, even on the best day, all filmmaking is hard and challenging. So what you're trying not to do is bring added drama to it. Because there's already enough inherent drama in any creative endeavor that also involves commerce and finance.

L: Yeah, he's right, there's so much going on. Whether it's financially or with schedules. I mean, it's everything. There's so much going on.

A: So how about you Mark? Any celebrities you might embarrass yourself for?

M: I've been really fortunate. I've been able to meet a lot of the people who would've made my list. I'm very lucky that way. One of my big heroes was the producer David Brown who is no longer with us. But he made The Sting, he made Cocoon, he made The Verdict and it's not just because of those films. But to be able to work for decades in film and have longevity and be able to weather the vicissitudes of the industry with grace, that to me is the ultimate. People like that, like David Brown, Clint Eastwood, these kinds of people that have had a huge body of work, that have had ups and downs and yet at the end of the day only get better, those are the people that I dig.

L: Just adding on to that and to be slightly different, I think Ray Harryhausen. That's another guy who's been all over the place.

A: A total pioneer too. Somebody who truly originated something.

L: Mark's comments kind of gave me that idea.

A: Tell me about your long-term plan for The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty-Something. The DVD is out Oct. 4^th, how do you hope to segue this film into your next project? Tell me about where you're headed next?

M: We're already heading there actually?

L: Yeah, we're already working on our next few things. To me, it's like, I know I couldn't blow anybody away with production quality. But I could grab 'em with heart. That sounds so pretentious, but I really...to me it was about laying the foundation. About proving myself just a little bit more which I tend to do each time. Taking another step. I think over the years it's really gonna get some steam.

A: Is there anything I can get out there for you? Anything you want to spread the word about?

L: We made an animated pilot together. It's called “Four Tanks and a Healer” and it's set in an MMO. I don't know how much I can say, but there's an animated feature that my heart is really in called “The Wanderer King” and I mean, my heart is really in it.

M: That might be the first thing, chronologically speaking, that's the first thing we actually started collaborating on. That pre-dates Twenty Something, Four Tanks...

A: So a long-term dream project then.

L: Yeah, what it is to me is, again, I always sound like such a ham.

A: You're talking to Queen Ham, it's okay. Trust me.

L: Not just because it was our childhood, but do you remember how in the seventies and eighties where there was Star Wars reaching the mainstream or Wizards or Neverending Story, they had a heart that I don't think kids movies have anymore.

A: Totally agree.

L: I'm trying my hardest to tap back into that. It's going to be real and it's going to have weight. But it's gonna be fun. Not everybody's gonna live. I really think that needs to be brought back a little bit and its my ambitious goal to do that.

A: It can be done. It should be done. Production always goes though phases and there are trends and I think there's a place for remakes. But some of the remakes of movies from the eighties, they're trying to recreate the magic of those movies. But part of what was magic was the risk. Characters died. Bad things happened.

L: It's like they always miss what made it good to begin with. To me, it's like...and now it's gonna sound like I'm kissing Mark's ass. But to me, Lord of the Rings was the first thing to come along and it's been ten years now, that really made everybody go, “Oh shit, this is still awesome!”

(Here Mark tries to get a word in edgewise, but Larry and I keep shutting him out. We all get so excited talking about Lord of the Rings, that we're cutting off the producer of the films! They're going to take my girl scout badge for interviewing film producers away...sorry Mark!)

A: Oh yeah, it cracked open the genre.

L: It can be nerdy, but it can still be cool. Like, oh boy, I don't have to be talked to like I'm six! It can still be fun. I don't think anything capitalized on that. I'm not saying we're making the next Lord of the Rings. I'm just saying, there was a weight that nothing that came after has.

M: I think audiences can smell when filmmakers are taking something seriously. Not being pompous, just taking it seriously. That doesn't mean no humor either.

L: Right.

M: It just means, you're honoring the conventions of the genre and making a real honest run at it. I think audiences appreciate that. I think when things feel manufactured or focus-grouped, you can sort of tell.

L: This is the vibe I always get, I think people underestimate how willing the audience is to go for the ride if you make it worthwhile. Like they're willing to suspend disbelief. But I think people are scared of that and think that they're not. That you always have to pull back and wink at them and say, “Hey, it's just a movie.”

A: If there's one thing that you wish people knew about Eddy Spaghetti Productions, one thing you wish people knew about your production company, what would that one thing be?

L: Most people who are twenty nine and trying to figure out filmmaking, if they ask you to check out what they're doing, you might go, “Eh, that wasn't worth it.” But I really do think that we've got something special. I really do. And I'm not trying to be arrogant. I just want people to give us a shot.

M: Yep.

A: Mark, I'm sorry. I feel like I ignored you a little bit in this interview.

M: No, I think this interview was exactly proportionate. Because, this is really Larry's journey. The way my attitude about producing is, it's about enabling and facilitating the work of artists. That's what it's always been about for me on whatever scale. Whether that's at the scale of The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something or the scale of Lord of the Rings, that's why you can do it year after year. Because even though you're working in the same medium, it's always a different experience. I met Peter Jackson in '86, '87 and Lord of the Rings was 1998. So that was over ten years. This is what's great about this industry. You make relationships and you try to do things together. It's it's own reward. Sometimes you get to make something together and it's fantastic.

A: It's totally surreal. I never get tired of doing interviews with people who I've watched on special features. I'm a super geek, but it kind of says something that before this interview as excited as I was to talk to you Mark, I was equally excited to talk about The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something. So, like you say Larry, not to sound cheesy, but that's got to be a good sign. Because I'm a huge nerd for LOTR.

L: I'm taking all of that as a good sign because I am getting a lot of emails from strangers that sound a lot like what you just said. People who I have no idea who they are are telling me they want to see the movie because it sounds like their life. I am taking that as a good sign, that's what I wanted.

M: It's relevant, as an artist you should make things that you're passionate about. If you do it well, they become relevant to people and that's high praise.

-------------------------------------------------------------

So. Please follow these projects. Throw in a little financial support. Tell your friends. Blog about it. Or take a note and move forward on your own dream project that you've been sitting on. Just do something...

Pepper Spraying Cop Strikes Again...and Again...and Again

2011-11-22T10:52:00.000-08:00

I know I love a lot of things. Typical fangirl I guess. But THIS is something I really really love. A brand new meme brought to you by the recent blatant injustices perpetuated on peaceful protesters by some overreacting police officers.

"Pepper Spraying Cop" has turned from an actual villainous moment in this unfortunate man's personhood into a hilarious wave of internet art in which said cop (Although, to be fair...there are so many more than just this one and I bet he's really confused about the right thing to do and also being prompted by his chief and other authority figures.) has been placed into comedic situations in which he is shown pepper-spraying other unworthy recipients.

Like The Daily Show, Monty Python's Flying Circus, every Charlie Chaplin movie ever and plenty of Looney Tunes episodes, comedy in general, (and satire in specific) can reverberate the sentiments of the masses...

In this case, the new Pepper Spraying Cop meme represents thousands and thousands of us (likely millions) who watch the news every night and go, "Seriously? They pepper-sprayed people for THAT?" The disturbing trend is not in and of itself funny at all. It's disgusting, bizarre and eerie for what it foretells. That peaceful protests and the right to gather and make our voices heard is not, in fact, our right anymore. You see, when something is your right, you have the right do it. Said right includes not being exposed on purpose to poisonous chemicals, but you know...I guess some people think that's a gray area.

But when we can all collectively make a joke that alludes to the fact that these cops might as well be spraying Fraggles or famous film characters or other innocent bystanders, not only is that funny, it's amplifying our thoughts and feelings across the landscape of pop culture. It allows us to look at each other, virtually and go, "I'm not crazy, that's really wrong, right? Okay, I thought so."

I don't like to get too political on this blog. This blog is about escapism and empowerment and self-actualization through media and geekdom. In this case, there's more than a little crossover.

For more intelligent commentary on just exactly why such violent and militaristic actions are being taken out on some of the Occupy protesters, read THIS. It really boils it down if you don't understand what's going on with all this stuff lately.

That is all.

P.S. Before a can of worms is opened up in the comments, I feel it necessary to say that I come from a military family and my father was a prison guard for many years and he did his job well and I'm SUPER proud of our military legacy. I also believe that the police are almost always just trying to do the right thing.

I also believe that some of the Occupy camps did need to be cleared out. So I'm not 100% pro Occupy camps and protesters all the time. Like many others, I think it's time to organize a little bit better. Voices have been heard, now make some plans and demands for real change and action. But the pepper-spraying of students sitting down, without weapons, who aren't threatening anyone (let alone the police) is just plain wrong. I also believe that sometimes the police escalate situations.

Think of it like Gary Oldman's speech in "Batman Begins" toward the end of the movie. (Yes, I realize that this is an absurd leap in logic, but I'm going with it.) Batman escalated everything by bringing this renegade force to Gotham and therefore tempting some of the crazier criminals to rise to his level of shenanigans. He meant it for good, but it inevitably caused some zany backlash that may not have occurred had he not showed up on the scene. (I'm sorry...I've been playing Arkham City.)

The same is true of undue police brutality. If the police show up at a peaceful protest and start firing rubber bullets and spraying people and beating people...yeah...that's going to cause some violent reactions that may not have ever popped up in the first place that will then be used as reverse justification for unnecessary actions.

But here's the thing about the internet, the word can now be spread and shared about that absurdity. In this case...in the form of a hilarious meme.

Okay. That is all. For real this time.

Ten Awesome (Real Life) Movie Towns

2011-11-17T08:08:00.000-08:00

The "Home Alone" house in Winnetka, Illinois.

You know, the tides just may turn on the idea of small town life. With the economy in a scary state of flux, a revitalization movement has turned toward almost everything you can think of. Small farms, independent bookstores and small businesses. It follows that the small towns we all fled because the commute was too expensive could make a similar comeback if tiny micro-economies pop up again.

Pardon the cold and calculating intro to a subject I really love to talk about, movie locations. But as usual, my personal life has informed upon my blogging life. As soon as I finished my Master's Degree, what did I do? I took it to a big city and started something there.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my life right now. But I admit to drifting into frequent daydreams about what it might be like to go back again having conquered my college education and some aspects of the world of professional production to see what I can bring home to my own small town.

Several of those detailed daydreams include

1. Starting production companies and working with various collaborators who shall remain nameless but totally know who they are...
2. Buying the Village theater and using it not only for new movies but for classics and film classes...
3. Starting a not-for-profit that teaches kids how to create short films and then holding a special festival for their results, etc. etc.

So...yeah, it better be the lottery or an angel investor for me. Or I guess...years and years of hard work. Blast!

Of course, most films use an amalgamation of actual small towns to constitute one ideal fictional one. So it's good to keep both feet on the ground and remind myself...real life is never like the movies. But I really wish it could be. And if it were, here are ten fictional and actual iconic, unique and classic small towns of the silver screen. (This from the girl who almost moved to Naperville, Illinois just for the Hollywood Palms theater. And no, I'm not kidding...we really almost moved there just for the movie theater. So keep in mind, I'm easily enchanted.)

1. Roxanne (1987) - Nelson, British Columbia - This under-appreciated Steve Martin rendition of the play "Cyrano DeBergerac" used a real-life hilly Canadian town. Aside from the fact that I can always call this movie up on Netflix to laugh or relax (And to recall the sweet, sweet cradle of an eighties/nineties childhood.) the setting also lends to the fairy tale quality of the film. Sweeping views of mountainsides, a small town fire station, and gorgeous houses are enough to inspire a real trip there.

Now having come from a small town myself, I can admit that movies do like to glamorize things that are never actually glamorous in reality. Like how every movie waitress loves her quirky boss and movie antique stores are always sunny and clean when in reality they're usually kind of dark, weird and musty.

Small town life is sometimes filled with the self-conscious knowledge that if you drop a lipstick out of your pocket on the way down the street, a neighbor will call to tell you they saw it happen. (This really did happen to one of my sisters.) So it can be a little unsettling knowing that your every move is being watched. But "Roxanne" brings the brevity of it's genre and it's star and combines it with the beauty of a real-life stunner of a town. And if you check out their website, the town seems like it just might be as cool and folksy as the movie made it look.

Marblehead, MA.

2. Hocus Pocus (1993) - Marblehead, Massachusetts - You know what I love about this movie? You can tell how much it impacted people by the fact that everyone still talks about it every Halloween. I keep meeting new people who talk about how much this movie impacted their childhood. One person we met here in Orlando even throws a pumpkin-carving party and watches it every single year. I know, I know...I have a soft spot for Doug Jones. But I loved this movie from the moment Mom took me to see it at the Village theater in Plainfield. For a kid, it has everything you could POSSIBLY want in a Halloween movie. Zombies, witches, spells, animals and most importantly...that awesome Steven King-worthy Northeastern town.

Marblehead has also provided some moody atmosphere for The Witches of Eastwick, The Good Son and more. It has a very specific and iconic look that perfectly represents it's region.

3. Groundhog Day (1993) - Woodstock, Illinois - This town is proud of it's movie past. It's funny, some of the towns on this list have websites that either completely bury their filmic past or don't acknowledge them at all. It makes me wonder what kind of crazies show up in these places and how much trouble exactly they might generate. But I digress, aside from holding all the Groundhog Day festivities you can imagine, Woodstock also shows "Groundhog Day" for free in their local movie theater the week of the holiday. (By the way, a small portion of "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" was also filmed in Woodstock.

4. Runaway Bride (1999) - Berlin, Maryland - In the summer of 2000, I used to sit and look at Berlin's website. It looked different then. But I can remember comparing pictures from the website to memorable scenes in the movie and it's still fun for me to play "Find the filming location." (Which is easy to do if you are familiar with the quirky Gary Marshall comedy, their homepage immediately displays a slide show or recognizable sights.)

5. Funny Farm - (1988) - Grafton, Vermont - So here's the thing...remember those crazies I was mentioning earlier? They must really come out of the woodwork for the Funny Farm house. (Oh, the irony.)

Because the owners of the house have requested that nobody share photos of the house as it is today or share the address and the house itself is actually situated on a private road. Which of course means that you can find all the info and photos you want on the internet, but I don't like to participate in that kind of stuff.

But you can still see plenty of Grafton that made it into the film. And Vermont appreciates tourists, especially after Hurricane Irene. So pack a picnic basket, save yourself the last apple and get on out and enjoy Grafton!

6. Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) - Grosse Pointe Blank/Monrovia, California - Grosse Pointe Blank is not really a small town. But it feels like one in this John Cusack dark comedy about an assassin who comes home to attend his high school reunion. Here's the thing...only some aerial shots are actually from Grosse Pointe. I wanted to use at least one film to illustrate how often small towns in California often end up doubling for other locations. (Even Culver City was used as Bedford Falls in "It's A Wonderful Life.")

7. Doc Hollywood (1991) - Micanopy, Florida - This truly tiny town stood in for the firefly dotted, moss covered Grady, South Carolina. Here Michael J. Fox's plastic surgeon character breaks down on his way to L.A. and learns that even though it's more challenging, it's also more rewarding to live and work in a small community where everybody knows each other.

By the way, the script is plum loaded with story-serving details like a love interest who was once burned by a big city man and a character introduction that includes the surgeon's co-workers bidding him good riddance with a profanity-laced cake....I mean it, this script is a study in concentrated "move the story forward" efforts. Not a minute is wasted.

But the close study of small-town life almost leaves me feeling guilty. Fox's character stands in as a sort of missionary figure. Why should all of the educated people of the world race to big cities to make a big profit? (Well...college debt for one thing, but let's play devil's advocate for a minute.) Small towns need doctors, artists, lawyers, etc. too.

8. Home Alone (1990) - Winnetka, Illinois - You know, when I think of this movie, very often I think, "Thank goodness I don't have any money." If I won the lottery, I'd do remarkably dumb things with my winnings. Like buy the Home Alone house when it went on the market and ask some friends and family to either move in with me or buy them the houses around the block. See? That's why it's good that I don't have real money...

But seriously, the town of Winnetka calls to me. I imagine myself moving there to walk in the steps of John Hughes and his revolving cast of amazing actors. Now I know, I could very easily move to Chicago and do that. But Winnteka is representative of something for me. It's not just a town where one charming movie was made. It's a town where movies were set and made.

Hughes used Winnetka and the surrounding area in almost every single one of his classic films. The Breakfast Club, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Home Alone, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Uncle Buck and more all stood in for what John Hughes thought was a representative slice of average American life. I don't know if there's an interview out there somewhere with John talking about Winnetka, but if there is, someone please leave me a link in the comments section.

Like most film studios, offices and workshops, WETA
is unassuming from the outside. Perhaps I shall make a
pilgrimage there someday...who wants to join?

But seriously, can you just imagine being able to pull up to your office at a film company or request special locations for filming in your hometown. (Have you ever seen special features with Peter Jackson pulling up to the Wingnut Films office or WETA? They're both smack in the middle of the New Zealand burbs. It's great.)

The age-old story is that you have to be brave enough to leave your small town to go out and conquer the world. But you know what must be even harder? Staying home or going back home and bringing film with you. Now THAT would be cool.

9. Housesitter (1992) - Concord, Massachusetts - Here's the thing about Frank Oz. Yes, he's a legend in the voice and puppeteering world. Sure, he has some pretty impressive credentials acting. But he's also an extremely prolific director with razor-sharp comic timing. He's responsible for helming Housesitter, What About Bob, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Little Shop of Horrors and many more. And the man knows how to characterize a place.

Apparently, the Goonies stand
with Israel nowadays. Cool, eh?
(In case you think I'm nuts,
I'm referring to the flag.)

10. The Goonies (1985) - Astoria, Oregon - Quite possibly the world's most famous movie small town, Astoria welcomes its admirers all the time and even holds an annual festival for the film that put them on the map. I mean really, need I say more? Who wouldn't want to walk the streets where the Goonies quested to save their town? (Or where Brand stole that little kid's tricycle...)

I guess I should be embarrassed that almost all of the movies I chose come from the eighties and nineties. I'm not very well-rounded am I?

There are plenty of other movie towns, real and fictional, actually used in a film and used to represent another town in film. (Confusing, huh? "I don't know half of you as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half of much as you deserve." There, the mint ice cream of palate-cleansing confusing statements. Just forget I said anything...)

So what are your favorite movie small towns? Which ones did I miss? Muncie, Indiana was the setting of a pivotal scene in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"...what else?

Last but not least, I'd like to send you to this super cool website that I stumbled upon while researching the Funny Farm house. If you're a movie location junkie like me, then you'll enjoy it! It's a list of several houses used as film and TV locations.

http://hookedonhouses.net/houses-onscreen/

Happy Halloween from Heather

2011-11-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

Contributor (and my partner in geeking, my sister) Heather went to a costume party on Halloween and she took her signature mad-crafting geek skills with her.

Her son was Link from The Legend of Zelda...

Keep going! The best photos are yet to come...

Her daughter was a "Catula"...

And Heather herself....well....just look for yourself at this HANDMADE costume. Could this girl take on the con crowd or WHAT?

Just in case you don't know...that my friends is a faithful recreation of a Jareth the Goblin King costume from Jim Henson's "Labyrinth".

And now, while I work today, to celebrate Heather's creativity and costuming skills I shall watch "Labyrinth" and bask in some Bowie.

How was your Halloween this year? Any geektastic goodness creep into your holiday?

Make It So Number One!

2011-10-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm playing catch up right now! In the meantime, enjoy your Sunday. By the way...I stood five feet away from Patrick Stewart yesterday. I'll fill you in later...but I may or may not have embarrassed myself. Shocked? I didn't think so...

Magnum P.I.'s Daughter Makes for a Confusing Halloween Costume

2011-10-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

So, I'm a huge Magnum P.I. fan. The blog here at Born For Geekdom with the most comments is THIS ONE. (I mean, it's a no-brainer, right? They keep trying to re-cast Magnum as a younger man. Boo! Tom Selleck or nobody.)

My husband and I have long joked that we were going to make a phony Magnum P.I. TV show trailer called "Magnum's Daughter" in which we see a stunning young woman from behind wearing the trademark shorts and Hawaiian shirt, she does several of Magnum's trademark movies from the original opening, but when she turns around, she's also has his amazing moustache. This idea crept closer to reality when I bought Jake an exact replica of Magnum's tropical shirt and his Detroit hat last Valentine's Day. (We purchased our replica through the Aloha Shirt Shop, in case you want one of your own.)

I'm still trying to find the time to make this little short with a proper actress. But I did get tired of waiting to use the idea, so I decided to go for it myself when we were invited to a Halloween party here in Orlando.

Here is Magnum's daughter along with my husband as "the dude" and the hilarious and talented Heather Leonardi as a grown-up emo Ginny Weasley. (The moustache also makes an appearance on the next episode of "Orlando Attractions Magazine: The Show" this Thursday. But that's all I can say for now...)

Unfortunately, I didn't really look as much like everyone's favorite TV detective as I thought I would. Though the doorman at the party did recognize me!

I did, however, look like the following people...

1. The late, great Bruno Kirby

2. Mario

3. Ron Swanson

4. Any one of Bill Swerski's Super Fans

5. My Dad.

Ever worn a Halloween costume and had people confused as to who you were? Please do share in the comments section...

Movie Bites - A Halloween Beverage Fit for the Headless Horseman!

2011-10-18T16:53:00.000-07:00

It's time for another Movie Bite over at Smithbites.com. I LOVE contributing some writing over at this beautiful and classy food blog. READ MY SPECIAL HALLOWEEN ENTRY HERE.

Aside from the fact that it gives me a great excuse to delve even further into my movie obsessions, it's also been kind of a confidence builder for me. The truth is that anyone can cook or bake, it's just a matter of being able to follow instructions. Sure it sounds simple, but it was news to me.

So this was my idea for the perfect Halloween cocktail. The best part? You can totally set it on fire! I recommend serving it with a tiny little Stay Puft marshmallow man constructed on toothpicks...which you can also set on fire. If you're feeling really ambitious, you could even do some Beauty and the Beast style "pie and pudding en flambe" for a trio of fiery treats!

(But seriously, don't serve that...people will talk...)

Empire Strikes Again: Amazing "Goonies" Reunion Video

2011-10-16T07:10:00.000-07:00

For Empire's 20th Anniversary, they were able to snag the cast of 80's classic "The Goonies" including Mr. Steven Spielberg and Richard Donner. You can watch the video over at Empire's site. Cast shenanigans, warm embraces and some talk of a sequel (finally?) does drift in an out of the conversation. One amazing bonus to the 20th anniversary issue of the magazine? Steven Spielberg himself guest-edited. I rarely buy print magazines anymore, but I think I'll be snagging this one for sure.

WATCH IT HERE!

P.S. www.empireonline.com is a fabulous place to linger.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost - Enjoying "The Hobbit" in Pre-Production

2011-10-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

That's my favorite line from "The Fellowship of the Ring" and it's been on loop in my head for a few days now.

But that's because I've been sick. Like super sick. Like feverish haze sick. For a few months, I've been pining after the special features on the extended versions of "The Lord of the Rings" box sets. They've been sitting on my book shelf calling to me. They are mine...my own...my precious. But I've been so busy there just hasn't been time to pull them down and watch them. So I admit, I was almost glad when I got sick. Because it meant I would finally have time to indulge. (Let me put it this way, I've been so busy, I just keep my makeup in the glove compartment of my car and I searched for gel that sets my natural waves because taking the time to blow dry my hair every day seems absurd.)

Back when the box sets were rolling out in the Christmas seasons after each movie's initial theatrical release in the early 2000's, I can remember greedily tearing into them after receiving them as Christmas gifts. I would stay up all night long to watch them. (And I mean multiple nights, multiple viewings.) I was even taking all the books with me to my waitressing job at The Olive Garden in Muncie, Indiana and stuffing them in the plastic plants anytime I got a table. Sneaking a paragraph here and there. And I can remember feeling so fulfilled in my "Lord of the Rings" obsession that I actually didn't mind when I was kicked out of school for not being able to pay my tuition. I stayed out of school for a calendar year, waiting tables and slinging coffee at a local bookstore and just enjoying the books and films...

I've already waxed emotional about the start of "The Lord of the Rings" prequels, I've tried to prepare the world for the glory that is Martin Freeman, and I've tried to help others understand the obstacles the productions had to overcome in order to finally call, "Action!" I even had the chance to talk to Lord of the Rings producer Mark Ordesky in an interview with filmmaker Larry Longstreth, and consequently, there is still a valuable part 2 to that interview that's still on its way. (Any aspiring creatives will want to read it and it will be published here on BFG this month.)

All annoying self-promotion aside, suffice it to say, I'm a GIANT FAN.

So tonight at the tail end of my special features marathon, my husband surprised me by setting our laptop down in front of me and showing me the following videos from Peter Jackson and crew over at The Hobbit Blog. But I also haunt theonering.net and The Hobbit Movie on Facebook and I would encourage you to do the same.

But wait, there's more! (And how cool is it that Andy Serkis is now directing?)

Are you geeking out over "The Hobbit"? If so, why? I know asking a geek why they geek is like asking why the sky is blue. It's just sort of a part of who we are. But I'm older now and further down the road on my life and career and I realize now that part of the reason why I am so drawn to special features is that I want to write and direct. (I know...who doesn't?) But I can see now that my obsession with seeing behind the scenes on "The Lord of the Rings" and "The Hobbit" has a lot to do with that aspiration.

There's absolutely no better role model for an aspiring director than Peter Jackson, who is firm but kind, completely humble but not in a false way, and the work he creates is timeless and on some kind of higher artistic plain than most of us could ever hope to attain. He seems to get the best out of people even in terrible and punishing filming circumstances. But best of all, he brought the magic of film to his hometown, employing locals and managing to avoid the rumored scuzz and corruption of Hollywood and Los Angeles.

Aside from the emotional connection many of us feel toward the material from the literature, Peter Jackson has become sort of a legend himself. He is as much a part of our obsession as all the details and timelines and characters we love to discuss from the books. He's one of us, a total geek. (And I mean that as a compliment.) And yet, he's living the dream and making the magic. He's become the accidental mascot of an entire generation of book nerds, proving that it's okay to obsess if you know how to spend your energy and time in a healthy and productive way.

Watching the special features, you see that he hired a massive team of obsessive nerds. Artists John Howe and Alan Lee had spent years illustrating scenes for the books for personal and professional reasons and even legendary actor Christopher Lee has admitted to reading "The Lord of the Rings" once a year for most of his life. (That's not to mention the staff of WETA Workshop who are comprised of medieval armor experts, painters, sculptors, and more. The stunt people who probably all grew up obsessed with Bruce Lee movies...you can see the point I'm trying to make here, right? Geeks grow up to do all the fun stuff if they know how to withstand the criticism of people who think they're total weirdos.)

As for me, I plan to continue enjoying pre-production on "The Hobbit" in my own special ways. Visiting the websites, talking about the films with friends and just enjoying the anticipation of both Hobbit films. The day I went to see all three LOTR films in the theaters during a marathon in Fort Wayne when "Return of the King" was released was almost sad. I remember thinking, "I wish I had enjoyed the era when LOTR wasn't finished yet even more when I had the chance." It's fun when these things are in the zeitgeist. When the internet is abuzz and the books are being reprinted and everyone is talking about it. So that's exactly what I'm going to do. Revel in all my dorky glory.

And you???

It's fun to spot Gloin! (You know, as in "Gimli, son of Gloin."

In Which Heather Confesses to Life as a Halloween Snob

2011-10-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

Wherein a mother allows some
costume inaccuracies for the sake
of her child.

I abso-freaking-lutely love Halloween! It's that one time of year you can completely geek out in public (outside of Comic-Con) and not receive negative attention. It's a day to look your obsessive fangirl best while laughing at the crappy costumes worn by those less impassioned. Granted, it's been a while since I watched Cinderella, but I'm reasonably certain she didn't wear a dress with her own picture appliquéd to her bodice. Creepy much?

It's reminiscent of the bad guy in the movie “Kuffs”, who wore a shirt displaying his own face. Incidentally, when he was shot and killed, the bullet went through the forehead of his visage. (Note: I do not condone violence to those who wear such things, but internal snickering is mandatory.)

I fear I may be afflicted with Halloween snobbery. Or is that just my hypochondria speaking? Either way, it was bound to happen. Even as kids, my sisters and I had the best costumes. Mom did singing telegrams for a living, and her costumes were the absolute best!

Every Halloween, friends and neighbors did their darndest to convince her to loan out the contents of her costume closet. That's right. She had a closet just for costumes. How cool is that? It's like having a walk-in safe for your Star Wars collectibles! Or a pantry that stocks only the best chocolate!

As these costumes were her livelihood, she seldom gave in to the pleas of the costume challenged, but she gave freely of her ideas and make-up tips.

Now, having learned from her example, I can do the same for my kids, though admittedly with less grace. I delight in taking them trick-or-treating each year and comparing their costumes to others. Last year the comparison was easy. My son dressed as Mario (which I sewed, of course), and we soon discovered it was a popular choice that year. But of all the Marios and Luigis I saw, mine....er, I mean, my son's was the best. My daughter pulled off Princess Peach with nary a self-portrait or plastic mask. (I was proud of my parenting skills when I agreed to make her crown head-sized as she wanted instead of the tiny one I would have preferred for character accuracy.)

All right, I'll admit it....Halloween is a major ego boost for me. I don't just play a Halloween snob for TV. I am Queen Snob. But I love Halloween, and I love the challenge of making my kids look awesome for the occasion. Please understand: I'm mocking the inferior costumes I see, not the kids wearing them. Every kid is adorable in their costume. They're just not so fortunate to have the creative resources that others do. My demands for my own little geeklets are simple. When somebody lets you choose your own treat, go for the Reese's Cups. Always go for the Reese's Cups. Justice will be delivered swiftly for non-compliance. That is all.

(*smacking own forehead: “It's not about me!”)

Heather Cichos is an aspiring author specializing in the absurd. She is a firm believer in the Loch Ness monster and has vowed to one day cross-breed them with parakeets, thus producing a variety of colors that will make them more visible in the water. She lives in Indiana with her husband, geeklets, and cats. This location is not conducive to the search for Nessie, but most of the family is there, so what can you do?

Padfoot is up for adoption!

2011-10-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

Berry, the amazing German Shepherd was being cared for by a stunt man who also worked in the Harry Potter films. But he travels so much for work since the series ended that the dog had to be put up for adoption.

Check out Berry's story on the British rescue's website.

If you are touched by Berry's story, I'd like to recommend a few things for those of us stuck in the states who can't really do anything about it. (Because if you're like me, you want to snuggle that dog and bring him home ASAP.)

1. Donate to the German Shepherd Dog Rescue that's caring for Berry. There's a donate button at the very bottom you can click on.

Berry out of "makeup".

2. Donate to the ASPCA, the Humane Society or Humane Society International. Remember, donating to causes for animals also does a lot for humans. Keeps them safe from sickly strays, for one thing. But this is a whole other subject that I probably shouldn't get started on...

3. If like most of us, there's just no money to give, volunteer at a local animal shelter or consider becoming a foster home for a local rescue group. My sister-in-law runs Iron Underdawgs and I know for a fact that every little bit they get helps. Extra dog food, volunteers for adoption days at festivals and Pet Smart, five extra bucks, a spare computer monitor, everything helps!

Holiday Advent Calender + Halloween = Calloween

2011-10-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to do some voice work for a great iPhone app called Calloween. It's for kids and it comes from RapDevPro, the same company that did the addictive Match Monsters app.

I love Halloween, but many of you know that I hate genuinely scary stuff and I've been that way since I was a kid. So I would've LOVED this back in the day. It's all atmosphere and innocent fun. It features classic monsters and gives you that same "counting down" giddiness that you usually feel at Christmas.

Of course, I also would've freaked out at the sight of an iPhone and thought it was a tricorder...but you get the idea.

This is Halloween, This is Halloween...in Orlando

2011-10-07T08:28:00.000-07:00

Pumpkins scream in the dead of night!

I love that song. I remember coming out of the theater after my parents took me to see "The Nightmare Before Christmas" in Indianapolis way back in 1993. It was one of those movies that changed my life. I had never seen anything like it and as a kid who loved film, musicals and holidays, it just seemed like the absolute pinnacle. Even as a kid, I was really critical of film. So the best feeling in the world for me was being able to walk out of one completely fulfilled, not wanting to change a thing. To top it off, it was snowing on that gray Indiana afternoon when my Dad went to pull around the car. Almost like the movie had kickstarted the holidays. (I asked for two things that year, "Jurassic Park" and "The Nightmare Before Christmas" on VHS. I unwrapped them both on Christmas morning. I always asked for movies.)

I have LOTS of great Halloween blogs coming, it's just a matter of finding the time to post them. I have three Halloween blogs coming on SmithBites this month, a great guest post here from Heather about how it feels to be a Halloween snob and plenty more. But this is what I've been up to so far...and I'll tell you this, it's hard to believe there's any Halloween season left!

In the past I've posted:

Wreck the Halls!

Halloween: Five Ways to Avoid the Gore and Enjoy the Holiday

and waaaaaaay back in the day 20 Halloween Flicks, Made for TV Movies and Cartoons

But I haven't been blogging much this fall because I've been busy working on "Orlando Attractions Magazine: The Show" which takes pretty much all day, every day. (Don't cry for me Argentina, it's like living one long Halloween blog post. It's amazing.)

But I did give myself the afternoon last Sunday to put up my fall garlands and orange and purple LED's and my pumpkins and cider-candles. Also, my work on The Show has already taken us to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party, Universal's Halloween Horror Nights, Busch Garden's Howl-O-Scream, and tomorrow we're off to Sea World's Spooktacular and later this month the Tampa Zoo Boo! It's been non-stop Halloween and I'm completely in love with it.

I dressed as a flapper for the Trick or Meet Up and may or
may not have attacked this walking Turkey Leg.

Usually I blog about the Haunted Mansion a lot this time of year, but this year I've already been IN the Haunted Mansion. We covered something called the Walt Disney World Trick or Meet Up. (Or Trick or Treat Up, I've heard it called both!) It was an after hours event where we were allowed into the Haunted Mansion for private rides. And once again, my husband and I found ourselves completely alone on The Haunted Mansion, nothing but empty doombuggies all around. (This also happened in 2008 at the Doombuggies.com "Swinging Wake".) For someone like me who is so obsessed with the Haunted Mansion that it actually took up a large chunk of my graduate thesis...to be able to inhabit the Mansion alone for any period of time is literally a dream come true.

If it hadn't been for a phone call from my boss telling me about the event, I would've missed it completely. That's what my boss calls me about! Hello there, dream job. I'm usually too grumpy or tired to have a good perspective on things, but in Tina Fey's Bossypants, she also speaks of this exhaustion-based grumpiness that overtakes her when she works on 30 ROCK. Again, I am certainly no Tina Fey. Not even close. But it sure is neat to share an entertainment-based ailment with a hero. At least, that's what I'm choosing to call it. I guess I could learn to lighten up too...but it's more convenient if I pretend it's a communicable comedy-writing disease.

In the mansion, after hours.
(And totally looking snooty about it!)

And anyway, it's pretty weird to be surrounded by people who are fans of the same things on a daily basis now. For so long I was the super weird girl obsessed with the Haunted Mansion and theme parks in general and now I find myself frozen and shy around my new peers. I feel like a freshman in high school all over again. I know what they're all talking about, I just can't make myself jump in! I can talk Hatbox Ghost (Again, wrote a short story all about the Hatbox Ghost during grad school) and collector's items and fan-created characters and Cory Doctorow...but for the first time in my life, I'm just kind of at a loss for words on a regular basis.

It's great to find home, but then...how do you find your place at home? My identity was in being the lone weirdo...now I'm in a whole herd of weirdos. And I LOVE it. But it's almost given me a license to figure out who I am again.

Too much ennui for a Halloween blog! Bah!

Anyway, how are you wrecking the halls? And what will your costume be? I'm still trying to put my Han Solo costume together, I have the holster, the shirt and the blood stripes, but I need the vest, the gun, the boots and the pants. No WAY am I going to have the money for those, so it looks like another Halloween costume dream unfulfilled for me. (It's why I had to be the ubiquitous flapper costume from Target at the Treat-Up.)

Greetings from Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party, I am the tiny red-shirted spec on the gound holding a camera.
(Photo courtesy Matt Roseboom...said awesome boss.)

Movie Bites - Mr. Ping's Noodle Soup

2011-09-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

My latest movie food attempt was Mr. Ping's noodle soup from the Kung Fu Panda flicks. You can check it out aver at SmithBites.com or just click on the link HERE.

Live Blog - The Emmys 2011

2011-09-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

Or as I like to call it, the 2011 blog typo marathon! I've live blogged before. But my Oscars live blog is usually more funny. Because WAY more stuff goes wrong at the Oscars.

8:10 - Starting a bit late tonight. All I know is that when I walked into our friends house in Orlando Leonard Nimoy was on TV. Sooooo...I'm good. And also, there's champagne here.

Just as I suspected, all the TV stars living in one building. If that's true, then that means the backlot from Pee Wee's Big Adventure is also real.

Kevin Nealon makes an appearance in the opening montage! IMMEDIATE WIN! (I'm probably a little behind the rest of you, we had to pause it because a lizard needed to be saved from the front door. I promptly saved it by scaring it into losing it's tail...I am the worst.)

RON! The man from "Community" who loves brunettes and breakfast food. And Andy Richter's a few feet away from him. And now, the Mad Men set. This will cause much hate mail, but I'm tired of Mad Men. I recognize it's general awesomeness and Christina Hendricks is the best. But I'm over the fact that every single week Don is back to being a dummy.

I got goosebumps when Jane Lynch said, "Who here loves television?" As my friend Josh said on facebook today. "The Emmys are my Super Bowl." Jane Lynch slushies herself. Kinda lame...

Oh no...dancers. If it's supposed to be a joke, it's not cheesy enough. It's just regular cheesy. And it makes me want to look away.

Steve Carrell can do no wrong. Jon Hamm gives the finger pistol. The Emmytones...again, this will either be hilariously cheesy on purpose or...I don't know...Joel McHale and Meredith from The Office give me enough reason to reserve any judgement for a while.

First 30 Rock clip. Now I'm settling in. I love a good montage. Michael's proposal to Holly! One of the best moments in the TV year if you ask me. You didn't, but there it is.

Cutaway to Jack McBrayer. Have you ever seen him interact with Conan O'Brien? There's just about nothing funnier.

Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel are fun together. Really fun. They should do a buddy movie, they're very Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby.

FIRST AWARD! I want Jane Krakowski or Kristen Wiig BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS. So so so many funny women on TV right now. Boooooo! Julie Bowen. Just kidding, she's hilarious. But I'd like 30 ROCK to sweep everything.

Be honest, first award of the night. Are you visualizing what your own Emmy acceptance speech would be? I mean...cause I'm not....

Julianna Margules. THAT DRESS. I was literally swooning. And then I saw the bedazzledness...so close to perfect. And yet so far. In the room all the ladies gasped and said, "Ooooh!" and then as they camera pushed in closer, we all went, "Ewwww."

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR. I'm for Ed O'Neill! But hey, I love...oh no, I already forgot his name. But as my grandma would say, "He's a nice fella." Modern Family is great. No complaints with that win. Hilarious acceptance speech. "Dad, just think of me as a very masculine lady."

On the way to commercial I see Maria Bello's dress. Art deco perfection. Perfection I say!

Ricky Gervais!!!!! YES. Anything he does rules. Everyone who hated what he did last year, can, as Tina Fey says...suck it. He's hysterical. Ah the classic "cutting things poorly" bit. Takes me back to The Simpsons. "Sweeet, sweeet can." See...I know Jane's "not enough hugs from Mommy" jab was a scripted joke. But it makes me feel protective of Ricky and therefore annoyed with her. This will taint the show. Not gonna lie. If you haven't yet watched "An Idiot Abroad" you are missing out on a million kinds of awesomeness.

Will Arnett and Zooey Deschanel. Love them separately and therefore, love them together.

OUTSTANDING WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES. Fingers crossed for Matt Hubbard or Greg Daniels. Okay, we've got a Modern Family sweep on our hands. It's a great show, but come on...Jake things they're going to sweep Drama too just for the heck of it. But if they win any sci-fi awards, I'm going to get suspicious. Man, the comedy acceptance speeches are so great. Writer on the right looks like Harrison Ford's older cousin.

8:45 Hey, Jane Lynch just told the drama category joke. Maybe I should write for TV? Ugh, Charlie Sheen. If I rolled my eyes any harder, they'd fall right out of my head. Move it along buddy, move it along. Somebody's PR guy is working over time, but where's the punch line?

BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES. Steve Carell, all the way. Or Alec Baldwin. Jim Parsons wins. Great guy, but...where I'm watching the Emmys, everyone is wondering why isn't he in the "supporting" category? Can I be honest? Big Bang is wearing on me too. I know that's sacrilege. But nerd references just aren't enough for me...and they're writing Leonard so whiny. And Kaley Cuoco is WAY more hilarious than they let her be lately. Oh geez, I HATE people like me. I work on a TV show now. I should know better.

8:49 Sofia Vergara and Rob Lowe. Amy Poehler runs up on stage to FAKE ACCEPT THE AWARD after they've announced her as a nominee!!! This will be the moment on all the clip shows tomorrow! PLIMPTON does it too. You are gorgeous AND hilarious. I'm LOVING the faux Ms. America thing as all the nominees rush the stage. THIS OWNS OWNS OWNS. Tina Fey fake makes out with Jack McBrayer! These are the moments that I watch these shows for. (Total side note, please watch any Second City doc or event and just watch the meteoric and hilarious rise of Fey, Poehler and Dratch onstage. There are a few on Netflix. Try the First Family of Comedy. It's good.)

You know what? I'm not even going to complain about the fact that Fey or Poehler didn't win. Because this moment is the greatest thing EVER. The tiara and roses totally clinch it. There's so much freaking love in that room/auditorium right now. It's like..awards, what awards? Who cares? Look at all these funny chicks!

8:55 Back from commercial break to an Office/Parks and Rec/30 Rock/Mad Men mashup. Best. Emmys. Ever. Jake LOVES it anytime Kevin yells. So he's happy. Whoever wrote this should win an Emmy. When is the award show for award shows?

9:02 - REALITY SHOW AWARDS. Where's the sick bag? No, that's not fair. I would be all for any of the talk shows, Letterman, SNL, Pee Wee Herman on Broadway, Conan, Colbert Report...anything other than Toddlers and Tiaras or Teen Mom. If Toddlers and Tiaras wins, I'm throwing something through the nearest plate glass window.

Kaley Cuoco's dress and shoes and hair and everything. It's all wonderful. Amazing Race wins. Can't argue with that, at least they're bringing some culture to audiences. But the sheer amount of people accepting the award is kind of hilarious. But that tells you how many people it takes to run a show like that.

COME. ON. CONAN. Outstanding writing goes to...Daily Show with Jon Stewart. They deserve it. But I wish Conan would've won. Someone in the room just said Conan sucks...and Jake and I just went dead cold...it got weird in here. Jake is wearing his "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" shirt.

I just want you to know that this laptop is burning my legs. But I'm doing it all for you...all for you.

The Lonely Island. And this is how I know I'm getting old, because I feel mildly annoyed. I recognize that they're funny and I always laugh at their stuff on SNL. But right now I'm just getting flashbacks from high school when I would laugh at the cool boys' pervy jokes to try to fit in.

9:15 - And then it all changed because Michael Bolton's fake pirate moustache was hilariously askew and Maya Rudolph showed up. In one sense, there's something truly magical about the fact that there's all this really immature sketch stuff happening on what is supposed to be a sophisticated awards show. Me being annoyed with it is one thing. But the antagonistic factor, rebelliousness and Maya Rudolph changed my mind. Also, the early nineties themed dancers are a big plus!

OUTSTANDING DIRECTING OF A VARIETY SHOW goes to Don Roy King of SNL. Well deserved sir, well deserved.

OUTSTANDING VARIETY SERIES. Come on...couldn't even finish typing Conan. Again, I love the Daily Show. But I really wanted Conan to win.

9:29 - Cryer and Kutcher presenting OUTSTANDING WRITING IN A DRAMA SERIES - I'm realizing I watch almost no drama on television. It's almost 100% comedy in our house. Though I do get really into "Parenthood" and I spent a couple of weeks watching straight through "Mad Men" On Netflix. The only real dramas I watch are on PBS. Am I a pre-snob? Oh no...I think I am. I've also been saying things lately like, "I only get my news from the BBC." Next thing you know, I'll be asking for the cheese cart at restaurants.

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA - GO CHRISTINA HENDRICKS! No dice. But Margot Martindale, who won, has a dress that looks EXACTLY like Zool's from "Ghostbusters" on top. And also, she's super sweet and adorable. Her acceptance speech is kind of like if my grade school music teacher had won...

As they go to commercial breaks, I really love the backstage shots. It's fun to see everyone goofing off.

OUTSTANDING DIRECTOR FOR A DRAMA SERIES. The fact that Martin Scorsese is directing TV makes me feel sorry for all the other TV directors. How can you stand a chance when people like Scorsese...and the Emmy goes to him. See? Not a chance. On the other hand, just imagine a world where prestigious film directors did lots of TV shows. Talk about elevating the art form. Well...talk about it.

9:44 - The Emmy girl who just escorted Scorsese off had an amazing dress...ooh and there's another one. The red sparkly one!

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES. I like Josh Charles or Andre Braugher or Peter Dinklage or Alan Cumming. So....pretty much all of them. Peter Dinklage! He rules. But here again, all of these amazing film actors in all of this wonderful TV. It's like when actors took over magazine covers and all those poor destitute models lost all their jobs...

Ah yes, the commercial for the "Footloose" remake. And that's all I have to say.

9:51 - A Jersey bit with Anderson Cooper and Jane Lynch as a Jersey character.

9:53 - Katie Holmes gives a stunning performance as a human being. She's onstage to announce the winner of OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA. Julianna Margules. Lovely and talented as always. Okay Julianna...four score and seven years ago. Sorry. Champagne makes me mean.

9:56 - Drew Barrymore introduces the new Charlie's Angels who then introduce the nominees for OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA. Hugh Laurie is among the nominees and did you know he was a comedy star in England for years and years in a show called "Frye and Laurie"? You probably did. I'm very slow. But when the four gals onstage yelled the winners name just now, everyone in the room looked at each other and said, "Did you understand what they just said?" If the winner hadn't stood up and walked onstage, I still wouldn't know who won. It sounded like, "Squeeee, sqwarkle! Ahhhh, hahaha!"

As the show goes on, I wonder, will we look back at this era or TV and laugh at the fashion? Not as much as the eighties or nineties, right? I don't see anything outright hideous that will look really goofy in any future retrospectives.

10:05 - EMMYTONES announcing the Miniseries category - First, what's Wilmer Valderrama doing there? Second, L.L. Cool J. just came on stage and was kind of...too cool. He took it from joke to actually badass for a second. Let this be a lesson to you everyone, bringing L.L. Cool J. anywhere is serious business. Don't take it lightly.

BBC America's "SHERLOCK" in the montage! Only three episodes, but so so so so so good if you haven't seen it. Simultaneously loyal to the books and completely fresh. AND it has Martin Freeman. Watch it. Or I'll get you.

So PBS and HBO have all the nominations. SHERLOCK must win. Must. Win.

And then doesn't. I am jinxing the awards.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES goes to Maggie Smith. I got really really excited, but she's not in attendance. Bummer. She's a living legend. Is that an insult? Is that like saying, "Oh my gosh, I totally thought your species was extinct! You're like a living dinosaur and that's why you're amazing!" Because I totally don't mean it like that. I mean it like, she's had such an amazing career that nobody could ever take that away from her. Not that anyone would try.

10:17 - Amy Poehler onstage. A hushed reverence falls over the audience. Announcing OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE is reminding me that I have been way disconnected from TV. So I have no gauge of who I want to win. But you can never go wrong with William Hurt, right? Or Barry Pepper from "The Kennedys". His name makes me want a sandwich.

OUTSTANDING DIRECTING FOR MINISERIES, MOVIE or DRAMATIC SPECIAL. Emmy goes to....someone reputable sitting next to a woman trying to singlehandedly revive the turban.

Uh-Oh...the In Memoriam. I never do well with these. The "walking down the aisle" start to "Hallelujah" gave me a chuckle and I don't even know why...so that helps.

James MacArthur and Peter Falk and Harold Gould! (I knew Gould as "Charlie" from The Golden Girls. By the way, I am wearing my Golden Girls shirt tonight. Bill Erwin, didn't know he had passed. Leslie Nielsen. Of course. Uncle Frank...such a bummer. I keep wanting to cheer when I see their names and then thinking, "Oh yeah, they're dead. How sad."

They shouldn't run the commercial for "Dolphin Tale" right after the In Memoriam. I'm already vulnerable here people!

10:30 - OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE. (Why do I feel like they've already given this award out a hundred times? Uh-Oh, I'm getting awards-weary. Guy Pearce wins.

10:36 - Hugh Laurie and Claire Danes are presenting OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE. Kate Winslet wins. Love the dress. Love the hair. She's stunning and charming and I love her. (I think I'm realizing that I not-so-secretly want to be British.)

10:39 Wait, wait, wait...is the Emmy band covering "Hey Ya" by Outkast? That's random.

10:44 Wow, Don Cheadle gets some sweet entry music. OUTSTANDING MINISERIES OR MOVIE goes to Downtown Abbey Masterpiece.

Mario Bello and William H. Macy both looking stunning. Did Macy win some kind of award in scarf form? Whatever he's wearing makes him look like a diplomat. OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES goes to "Mad Men". Christina Hendricks stands up and the world goes to a hushed silence. All the ladies look amazing, but she is just stunning, stunning, stunning. Elizabeth Moss looks incredible too.

And now the Emmy house band does "Seven Nation Army". That rules.

10:54 - Here comes the big one. Gwyneth Paltrow arrives to present the nominees for BEST COMEDY SERIES. Come on 30 Rock! D'oh! I mostly wanted them to win just to hear one of Tina Fey's awesome acceptance speeches. It was a clean sweep for Modern Family though.

All in all, a fun year. Best moment? All the first ladies of comedy and their hilarious pageant improv. Second best? Fallon and Kimmel doing everything they did.
Weirdest moment? The Lonely Island Boys humping in William H. Macy's general direction.
Worst moment? I don't know if there was a true worst. It was a great solid ceremony full of relaxed laughs and gorgeous celebrities. All over by 10:59 p.m. And that's certainly not a bad way to spend a Sunday night.

But that's one SWEET confetti and glitter bomb going off in the audience...good grief...

So what did you think of the Emmys this year?

Boo! and also Yay!

2011-09-15T22:24:00.000-07:00

You know the drill by now.

Another "Evil Dead" movie, good. No Ash, bad.

(I'm as confused as Billy Crystal's face from THIS episode of The Critic. "Can't you tell by looking at my face?")

But here's the latest from Bruce himself over at Cinema Blend.

Read me some sugar, baby.

Slide Whistle + Darth Vader = Perfection

2011-09-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

How I Commemorated 9/11

2011-09-13T22:47:00.000-07:00

I usually don't like to talk about anything like this on my blog. This blog is my happy place. But I really wanted to share something that made me feel uplifted on a day that I had originally marked for slipping under and hiding out.

Jake and I watched "Man on Wire" on September 11 this year. It was Roger Ebert's Facebook suggestion that this is the only movie out of all those made about the World Trade Center to truly commemorate the towers in a beautiful way. And it was really quite the experience for me, because the movie has nothing to do with the terrorist attacks.

It's all about a man who had an impossible dream and stopped at nothing to make it happen. It's riveting, beautiful, exciting and ultimately a little bit sad. And it would make an incredible narrative film. But it's on Netflix and I can't recommend it highly enough. (She says years after a million other people have been talking about it.) It's really about the flip side to that dark coin of human creativity that either allows us to do something breathtakingly wonderful or unspeakably horrific with our lives and efforts and passions and motivations.

To top it all off, it's a really well paced film. Very well put together with unique interview shots that look like something Wes Anderson might've filmed. It takes what could've been a mundane storytelling experience and pulls you in. Watch the preview below.

"Smile...with your mouth!"

2011-09-13T22:40:00.000-07:00

For the past week, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that scene in "30 ROCK" where Liz Lemon is supposed to be shooting the sassy opening title sequence of her new talk show "Dealbreakers". But she's so freaked out and nervous about being on camera that she forgets how to act like a normal human.

This happens to lots of people on camera. It explains why there are so many bad commercials for furniture stores and car dealerships floating around in the world.

I think from henceforth we shall call it, "Forgot how to be human" syndrome. It looks like this...

Yeah...I can relate.

Not just to the asymmetrical hair cut, awkward waving and nervous eyes. But because that's me in the above photo interviewing Scott Swenson, a (as Bridget Jones would say) top-level executive at Busch Gardens this week. I used to love being on camera, and in a lot of ways I still do. But now that I'm primarily involved in behind-the-scenes work (writing, directing, producing) I find myself all clammy-palmed and Mary Catherine Gallagher anytime I have to run an interview.

Thankfully, Scott Swenson was kind and merciful and just sort of played along. I can only hope that the same thing will happen if I get to meet Weird Al like I'm scheming and plotting for right now. Although in all fairness, his people at Sony seemed mildly frightened when I sent them an email to try to schedule an interview with him three months before he was due in town. Darn my type-A organizational skills. Darn them to HECK! But what all this really makes me think about is the fact that if a ginormous socially awkward nerd like myself can end up in high places with creative big-wigs, then anything is possible.

Second, while I've been busy toiling away in the world of local on-demand television and internet content, this happened.

Of course, the flying cars and 80's themed cafes by 2015 would've been nice too. But beggars can't be choosers and I'll take absolutely anything new from the "Back to the Future" trilogy that I can possibly get. And this totally counts. Does anybody else get major goosebumps at the mere sound of the iconic score?

If you need a caption to explain this, we can't be friends.

I've been really inspired lately. There's a documentary about the Monty Python boys on Netflix called "Almost The Truth" that Jake and I have been watching off-handedly during meals between shooting and editing.

I'm paraphrasing, but at one point I think it's Terry Gilliam who talks about walking into a room full of his heroes at the start of his career and being really nervous and he says something like, "This is before I realized that this is all an illusion and that nobody is really more clever than anyone else."

I know I write about it a lot lately, but that's because it's what I'm going through. But the demystification of the creative process is the best and worst thing that can ever happen to an artist. On the one hand, it means you can do whatever you put your mind to and actually do all the stuff you dream of doing.

On the other hand, it's destroys some illusions and means that your heroes are just normal people and it makes you responsible for yourself instead of being able to sigh your life away thinking that "those people" made it because they have some kind of magic touch, so you shouldn't even try. But I think I'm willing to cross over to that dark side if it means I get to do some of the things I've always wanted to do.

That being said, there are a few thing I want to do in the next five years. (Jake and I tend to make plans in five year chunks of time. It gives you enough time to get something big done.) And if it's really true that no one artist is any better or more clever than any other, then there's no reason why I can't do the following alongside Jake and a few other people who shall go unnamed because I don't want to passively aggressively push them into doing stuff they are already WAY too busy for. (Lindsay, Heather, Josh R.)

1. Get more of my writing and/or the whole of "Growing Up Weird" (my thesis) published in some form.

2. Make a feature film, preferably an indie.

3. Sell a screenplay.

4. Make a documentary.

5. Take a short film (preferably a hilarious one) on "the" festival circuit. (I'll figure out what "the" festival circuit is later, I just know that I read about it a lot in Variety and on Roger Ebert's facebook page.)

6. Continue to build toward our own production company and/or studio that employs all my amazing creative friends and family.

7. Make the day job ("Orlando Attractions Magazine: The Show") a success in some form. Whether that means something that has a cult following for it's humor, or becomes a financial success because we grow it and then sell it, or what I don't know just yet. But our bosses/producers have shown us so much faith and creative freedom and they've given us this incredible training ground. I feel that it's so SO important that we teach ourselves how to make a good product in some aspect and do it in such a way that it rewards them too.

But okay, I cheated on number 3. I'm polishing my first screenplay right now. But I play that trick on myself a lot. The one where you put something on your list you've already done so you can cross it off and feel good about yourself. Try it. It's great.

I've been doing a lot of interviews (and planning a lot that I can't get to right now for sheer lack of time) that seem to be all about this topic precisely. The consensus seems to be that the first battle to fight and win as a creative person is the one where you have to make peace with who you are, what you love, what you're good at, etc. Once you can admit to yourself, "Okay, I want to be a filmmaker/musician/writer/painter, etc." then you can finally get on with the business of making things happen through hard work. For me, I had to get out of my hometown for just a second. After that second, everything was crystal clear and I didn't feel like the crazy immature dreamer caving to the external pressures of my fellow well-meaning Mid-Westerners.

And nobody in particular mind you. All my friends and family have always been really encouraging and extremely supportive. The battle I fought was in my own mind. Growing up the weird kid, it takes a long time to shake the feeling that everything you think is stupid or dumb or weird or crazy. Sprinkle a little of that well-meaning, "You'd have to be crazy to want to leave this wholesome home town!" guilt along with some damaging mockery on top of that and it's a recipe for wasting away in your own discontent for the rest of your life.

Then again, a recent interview I did with Ohio filmmaker Larry Longstreth even proves that wrong. He got his first feature made while living in Ohio and he's well, well on his way to an incredibly successful career. Believe me. Remember that name. But what that probably means is that he has a lot more self-control and drive than I did and was better able to buck against whatever obstacles were in his way.

Why am I talking about all this? Well, namely because I barely have time to blog anymore. So when I do finally sit down, it feels really good to let off some of the steam that swirls around in my brain when I try to go to sleep at night. There's so much work to do and so much possibility and unpredictability in what Jake and I are doing here in Florida that I'm starting to realize that I need to make ridiculously specific goals.

For so many years, I've almost played a character of myself. I think that came from growing up with a talented actress for a mother whose career was also based around the idea of playing multiple characters. But I've always been "golly gee" Audrey kind of kicking the dirt around and trying to blend in around people who make me nervous but priding myself on being this closet weirdo and secretly aspiring filmmaker. So I think the thing to do now is the scariest thing of all.

Admit that I might maybe kinda sorta be getting a little somewhere. Maybe.

I've always believed that verse that says pride goes before a fall, meaning I am permanently superstitious when anything good happens to me. But I also believe the verse about not hiding your light under a basket. ("You have a gift my friend...") But I ALSO believe in turning into a grown up and admitting some things to yourself/the entire internet, even if that means you'll be humiliated when you fall on your face.

I've been asking a lot of people for a lot of things lately. Good friends to help us write and make music and fill up this blog. And everyone has been delivering. And that's really rad. And what it tells me above all else is that if I have any gift at all, it is the gift of pushing people into doing stuff they're not really ready for.

Obviously, I'm joking. (No I'm not.) But how crazy would it be if all these years of geeking and TV and movies all ended up actually counting toward something?

That would be pretty freaking cool.

Movie Bites - Ratatouille's Ratatouille

2011-08-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

My latest "Movie Bites" blog is up over at Smith Bites. This time I attempted Remy's ratatouille from Pixar's "Ratatouille". Coincidentally I recently watched the wedding and baby episodes of "The Office". (Wouldn't it be great if you could isolate specific episodes of an entire series on Netflix by plot line? How about the story of Spike and Buffy on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" for example?) Turns out, I'm not the only one who wanted to make this food, Kevin makes it for Pam during their last Ultra Feast before Pam delivers the baby.

The Lost Art of the Movie Poster

2011-08-30T19:26:00.000-07:00

I received an email this week from Cameron McCasland the director of an indie horror film titled "The Lashman". I've been thinking a lot about indies lately after having the privilege of chatting with director Larry Longstreth last week. I've always said my heart beats "genre" and "blockbuster". But lately, it seems to be making a little more space for smaller stories.

Coincidentally, I've also been talking a lot about movie posters with my sister Heather. (One of the contributing raving fangirls here at BFG.) She has recently discovered the art of Drew Struzan. Drew Struzan is THE movie poster guy. He's done just about every iconic film poster you can imagine from "Back to the Future" to "Raiders of the Lost Ark" to "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" and beyond.

Struzan has this way of capturing the magical feel of any film. As an artist, he has mastered the concept of finding the "feel" of a film and appealing to an audience through the gut reaction that "feel" might inspire. Heather and I talked on the phone about what a shame it was that someone on the marketing team of "Hellboy" didn't go with Struzan's posters for the film and as usual with nerds like us, the conversation spiraled into a nostalgic wish for the cool movie posters of the good old days.

Movie posters are a lost art. I know people say that just about everything is a lost art, and maybe it's because I'm turning 29 today...I don't know. But posters today lack imagination, are often exercises in terrible photoshop and they almost never make me want to see the movie. But maybe that's where the problem originates. Now we want to see movies because of previews we see on the internet. But I can remember standing in the lobby of a mall movie theater with my Mom in Indianapolis on a shopping trip in 1989 and deciding to see "Fletch Lives" solely because of the fact that the poster art was an homage to "Gone with the Wind".

The posters for "The Lashman" were designed by Dennis Vincent of Denver, Colorado. Someone who clearly loves film and gets the idea that a poster should made you feel something and really want to see the movie.

Case in point?

I usually hate horror movies. I mean, I love monster movies, ghost stories, the classic Universal monsters, etc. But gore and slasher movies I almost always avoid. I'll just put it this way, I once passed out during the climactic finale of "The Strangers". Granted, there was also alcohol and Halloween candy involved. Maybe it was the perfect storm, I don't know. But even yesterday I tried to watch the retro throwback film "The House of the Devil" on Netflix and it scared the bejeebus out of me so much that I had to watch the entire thing on fast forward. (By the way, incredible movie. Very suspenseful and well crafted with love to pay tribute to horror films of the seventies. If you aren't a big baby like me, you'll probably enjoy it.)

But these posters make me want to see "The Lashman". It makes the film look like it's going to feel like a comic book western that might evoke "The Evil Dead" and that's a movie I can get on board with.

Mark Ordesky and Larry Longstreth talk "The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something" - Part One

2011-08-23T06:34:00.000-07:00

In Part One of my interview with filmmaker Larry Longstreth and producer Mark Ordesky, we talk about the making of "The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something."

Larry Longstreth has made a film that does more than entertain for a couple of hours. It strikes a nerve. The trailer for “The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something” has light saber dueling, a Superman cape, a Braveheart reference and a Wilhelm scream. Which means that to a geek like me, it feels like home. But it has something else too. A gut-punching moment where a father tells his twenty-something son, “I'll always love you, but I don't have any respect for you.”

This indie film hits us where we live, the generation that grew up on a steady diet of movie magic and Steven Spielberg that now has to face obstacles like student loan debt and complicated parenting choices. But you can only coast so far on the “follow your dreams” nostalgia of childhood before you start to realize that you have to actually do something to make them happen. But doing something is difficult and scary and opens you up to the increasingly cruel criticism of your peers and that anonymous monster called “the internet”. THAT is the nerve this movie hits. To me, the influence of a film can be gauged by what you discuss after watching it. And if my gushing so far is any indication, this one might have you feeling uncomfortably introspective...in a good way.

But let's rewind.

Ordesky (left) and Longstreth (right) talk
over a scene with Jane Fleming.

The story of how the film was made in the first place is an origin that could've been lifted off the pages of a screenplay. In 2008, Longstreth and his brother took a trip to L.A. to pass out DVDs of their work that Longstreth describes as “local access sketch comedy stuff”. The night before flying home and with only one remaining DVD the brothers decided to go out for a meal.

And then the restaurant they chose caught fire. No...seriously.

After being directed by a firefighter (Full service emergency personnel out on the west coast, huh?) to a small Chinese restaurant nearby, Longstreth says he overhead a familiar voice while dining. It was the voice of Mark Ordesky, known to film geeks everywhere for his prolific work as a producer and his prominence in the expansive special features on “The Lord of the Rings” DVD box sets. The interviews he gave in those special features brought him into the public eye in ways most producers don't typically experience.

Longstreth took a leap that night by introducing himself to Ordesky. He handed over his last DVD and the two formed a mentorship from there. Now Longstreth affectionately calls Ordesky his “cross country Yoda”, if that tells you anything about how well the two get along. Ordesky says he provides advice and guidance and, every once in a while, picks up the phone to help open a door or two. “I saw myself as a resource. It's a real classic producer/filmmaker partnership in that you're there to enable the filmmaking team to get up onscreen that which they are trying to get up onscreen and then to get the film seen by audiences.”

I know Ordesky's voice well too, having spent many nights devouring said special features with a greedy eye toward learning the filmmaking process. Doubtless Larry and I are not alone in this respect. In many ways, those special features served to demystify the creative process of filmmaking, showing the exhausting work that goes on behind-the-scenes of films like the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. In the same way that these behind-the-scenes peeks serve to either spur aspiring creatives on toward filmmaking or turn them away with the truth that filmmaking is extremely hard work, Ordesky himself is just as honest and forthcoming on the phone.

I was able to chat with them both about “The Long Slow Death of a Twenty Something”. They overlap as they tell the story of how they met. You can tell they've done this a lot.

“It was a chinese restaurant that I would go to every Sunday to pick up take-out Chinese food. Sort of my ritual to get take-out Chinese food on Sunday,” Ordesky chimes in.

“The Hunan Cafe,” Longstreth says.

“The Hunan Cafe,” Ordesky echoes, laughing a little bit. The two start joking around and it makes me laugh obnoxiously loud for what should be a serious moment in my life as a writer. “There's a photo, that the night we met at The Hunan Cafe on Sunset Boulevard that I think Aaron (Larry's brother) got someone to snap it, but basically it's Larry and Aaron flanking me. It's like, hey, you know...let's all have a photo together. And literally, I'm pretty Hobbit-sized in that photo.”

“Yeah,” Larry says, “and we look like the two towers.”

Sidebar: My sister and I have this way of identifying people who are just as geeky as we are. We'll call each other to talk about someone we met or like and say, "You wouldn't believe it, they're one of us." Mark Ordesky and Larry Longstreth are like that. They're just...really really nice. And they make as many nerdy jokes as you do. (I hate to assume, but you are reading a blog called "Born For Geekdom" so...) Okay, End Sidebar.

Ordesky says that when he watched Larry's DVD a few weeks later, he was struck by the sense of humor and irreverence. “In my career, my greatest successes have come from really talented people that I've met off the beaten path. Not your traditional Hollywood kind of way. That includes Peter Jackson.” One can only wonder if Ordesky sees some shared qualities between Jackson and Longstreth. “He (Longstreth) decided he wanted to make a feature film and an animated television show. I just really believed in him and his team in Ohio.”

Oh, did I forget to mention that Longstreth hails from the Mid-West? Like so many of us who grew up in the anonymous beige plains in the heart of the country, Longstreth encountered much cynicism regarding his creativity. In fact, that very theme runs all the way through, “The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something.” The film is almost his response. He refuses to let go of his dreams and he's willing to take whatever criticism you feel like slinging at him for doing so. While a large portion of our generation morphs into frustrated critics, Longstreth made a movie. No small feat, I assure you.

As a journalist, I admit I'm prone to hyperbole. But there's evidence to my claim this time. I asked Longstreth if he thought that some of those “moments” in the trailer that I mentioned earlier (the geek references, the emotional gravitas of the father-son moment) were responsible for pulling in musician Patrick Carney of The Black Keys to lend his songs to the score.

“I went ahead and made a private video that only he could see, and Mark and a few others and I showed it to Pat and he goes, 'Alright, give them everything they want.' That was the most flattering thing. I realize that we're not going to blow anyone away with production quality, not yet. We're trying to bring those things up. But I do believe in those moments. Not to be a cornball.”

Longstreth made a lot of disclaimers, like the one above, about the quality of the film during our interview. Which lead to a discussion about the dark side of fanboy/fangirl culture. The cynicism. The bitterness. The hostility that sometimes accompanies a lifelong devotion to literature, film or television can prove a very real road block to artists like Longstreth who are contemplating whether or not to move forward with trying to create. As they know full well that delivering anything less than perfect can garner scathing criticism. But the catch is this, you can't ever deliver anything that feels perfect to anyone, and you can certainly never work up to your own potential unless you are willing to just go for it and make mistakes along the way.

When fanboys and fangirls become experts, the line between appreciation of a film or TV show can sometimes blur and turn into something dark. But there aren't many films or TV shows willing to get to the honest heart of geek/nerd/fan culture. Most keep it on the surface, chucking in as many pop culture references as possible in an attempt to feel contemporary or relevant. “The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something” tries to go deeper than that and pose a question to the viewer. What does it mean to be a grown-up without being a sell-out? Is there something in between becoming a successful jerk or a basement-dwelling loser? Longstreth hopes that his film puts geek culture on a broader spectrum.

“I feel like they don't understand it just yet. They think putting some Star Trek ears on somebody, all the sudden we're gonna relate to it and that's not what it is. I think what I'm trying to say is that my generation does need to grow up but that sometimes we mistake growing up with stop watching so much Star Wars and start being more business-oriented. We mistake growing up with losing heart and I don't think that's exactly the answer. It's not so literal and easy. The film is about how there's a very real mistake to be made with mistaking growing up for being somewhat of a douche-bag in a way if that makes sense. That's the fear, that's my fear. It's kind of the inner child thing I think, to simplify it.”

Ordesky's voice pipes up, “I think that's totally right, because you can stay in touch with your inner fan and your inner child and still be a man. Still be a grown up.”

Longstreth and Ordesky are excited about the subject, because they begin to lead into each other's sentences again.

“It's totally about being a man. It (the film) looks like it's about nerds, but it's totally about how you don't have to shake the nerd to be a man. You have to shake the boy.”

Another sidebar: It's no coincidence that I keep ending up talking to different creative types about what it means to be mature and also live a passionate life and career. Like Larry's main character in the film, I'm getting closer to thirty every day. I'll be twenty nine in eight days. Usually I'm talking about it in terms of fangirl culture. I'm talking Tina Fey, Princess Leia's metal bikini and the over-sexing of female geekdom.

But like most geeks, when I talk about why Tina Fey rocks so hard, what I'm really saying is, "Oh man...I really want to rock that hard and be funny and smart and successful without being a bimbo!" The question of, "The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something" is the question of my life right now.

Do we have to let go of our childhood inspirations to become real women, real men, real adults? (I sincerely hope not, or my Star Trek and Star Wars tattoos are going to give me some serious problems...)

My point is that if this is the question of my life, then chances are there are a whole heck of a lot more of us out there wondering the same thing...another reason why the film will resonate well. Seriously, this was supposed to be a straight-forward Q & A interview with these two super cool people, but look at the rambling it induced? I'm telling you, the trailer alone will get your wheels turning.

It's also no coincidence that I ended up talking about the film in this context, because I just sold my first screenplay (Don't get too excited, who knows if it will actually get produced?) and took over a local television show about theme parks as my post-grad career choice. So maybe I'm looking for a little justification amidst the blind panic of leaving academia.

But one thing that I learned from talking with Larry Longstreth and Mark Ordesky is that a lot of people are looking for some justification. A way to hang on to their dreams, but also a way to move forward with them.

Now I guess I'm the cornball. But I can't help it, and neither can Longstreth or Ordesky or Peter Jackson for that matter. And it's not really being a cornball. That's just what we're afraid people will think of us for trying to, for lack of a better phrase, go out in the world and make stuff.

Think back to a time pre-Lord of the Rings films. A world where the fantasy genre was in a deep freeze of under-appreciation. But by approaching fantastic material with sincerity and passion, Jackson reminded the world of the validity of an entire genre.

I wonder what Larry Longstreth will do by adopting the same attitude. I'm just saying right now, he's one to watch. Closely. (Via the internet, of course...don't be a creeper...) Every now and then, Google his newly formed production company "Eddy Spaghetti Productions" and see what's shaking.

If this were the end of a cheesy black and white horror movie, this is where someone would point at the screen and say, “What about YOU? What will you do?”

My vote would be to watch “The Long, Slow Death of a Twenty Something”, try to remember what you wanted to be when you grew up and don't be afraid to pick up a light saber every now and then.

You can pick up a copy of the film on October 4th at Best Buy.

You can pre-order it on Amazon. (Larry says don't worry, the price will drop.)

And you can look for it on Netflix.

Larry Longstreth reviews the script with the Hollywood Superman, Christopher Dennis.

SUPPORT THIS FILM!

My Monster

2011-08-22T17:31:00.000-07:00

My Monster

“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending.”

- The Muppets

“Oh, I’ve heard of you,” said the smart looking brunette, while she tucked her chin under and widened her eyes. Her slight shift in tone and body language let a little meaning slip free, like air escaping out of a balloon. Whatever she heard wasn’t good. She was the slim and lovely wife of a professional acquaintance. I barely knew her, and yet I immediately wanted to hide behind the shelves of the massive chain bookstore.

Jake and I stood there awkwardly and waited for the explanation, but I didn’t even need one. I already knew what this was about. I wanted the books to swallow me whole. I forgot how much I had embarrassed myself. I felt like a kid again, reminded of that need to blend. That distinctly Mid-Western need not to be noticed, not to show off, and certainly not to be caught failing at anything.

“Oh yeah,” the acquaintance shifted nervously from foot to foot, “I think I mentioned that you interviewed Doug when I was directing the special features.” We made awkward small talk for the next few minutes and said our goodbyes. I shrugged my shoulders at Jake, who laughed kind of small and quiet.

In 2008, an independent film came to Muncie where Jake was attending grad school. With a few years of freelance writing under my belt, I decided that it would be a good idea to insinuate myself into the process as quickly as possible, for the experience. So I volunteered to work for the marketing department as a blogger and general buzz-maker on nerdy message boards for the duration of the film’s shooting.

It wasn’t exactly selfless of me. I had something of a fascination for the film’s male lead. An actor named Doug Jones was cast as the star and even though he didn’t know it, Doug and I had a long and beautiful history together...

Doug is well known for playing movie monsters. I first saw him at the one-screen Village theater in my tiny home town. He played a zombie in the Disney Halloween adventure film, “Hocus Pocus” in 1993. Just a few years before that, I had accidentally seen Michael Jackson’s, “Thriller” late one night on television while I was innocently making a fort out of couch cushions. It paralyzed me instantly and I watched every second of it. Except for maybe the few seconds that I spent letting my eyes dart toward the windows and down the street…to the general direction of our town cemetery. Zombies became my ultimate terror and the sponsors of many bizarre sleep-walking incidents in which I tried to round up my family in time to drive away before a horde of the undead reached our home.

But Doug, as Billy the Zombie in “Hocus Pocus” was a kinder, gentler version of the undead. He was on the kids’ side in the movie, united against an evil witch played by Bette Midler. And he was funny. I can remember Mom gently poking me in the side and leaning over to whisper in my ear, “See? He’s a monster, but he’s nice!” The swell of the popcorn aroma of the place and the way it mixed with Mom’s perfume only furthered my happy associations with this new zombie man.

From then on, I followed his career closely. He played a dancer-like Silver Surfer in “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”, a convincing version of the gill-man Abe Sapien in the “Hellboy” movies, and a host of other costumed characters. He was even the singing half moon, Mac Tonight, from a late eighties McDonald’s campaign, who crooned classic love songs about the Big Mac . I didn’t know when the commercials aired that it was him, but I remember having a good feeling about Mac. He was certainly more trustworthy than the Hamburglar and he was far less intimidating than the blue Noble Roman’s pizza monster.

Until Doug, the only costumed performers that I knew well enough to admire were my mother, owner and operator of our tiny town's only singing telegram business, and all of our beloved movie monsters. Actors like Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, and Lon Chaney Jr. were regular topics of discussion in my home. So Doug was kind of a revelation…he was kind of like us. Kind of like Mom.

Except, he wasn’t like us at all. He was famous and successful.. Someone who worked in the trenches of entertainment, and if he was anything like my mother, someone who suffered for it. For Mom to bring whimsy to a local party she had to apply layers of itchy makeup, or make adjustments to walk in giant chicken feet, or struggle to see correctly through a gorilla mask or a blinding dancing Christmas tree costume. What she did may have seemed like a dream job, and to her it was, but it was some of the hardest work I’ve ever watched anyone do. And she didn’t play to millions of theater-goers for hefty paychecks. She did it for fifty bucks a pop and for sometimes snotty elementary school kids or drunken rotary club members. To me, she was the hardest working woman in show business. So Doug became one of the few actors that we felt we could really relate to somehow, in the same way that Leonard Nimoy was cool or Boris Karloff was admirable. Doug was also from Indiana, just like us. He remained a far away figurehead who drifted in and out of my consciousness depending on what films he was in.
Until he was going to come to the town where we lived to make a movie.

I’ve never been one to pass up an opportunity for a brush with fame. I’m tacky like that, easily star-struck. I once got ecstatic over seeing Montel Williams at a theme park, who seems like a fabulous guy, but let’s face it…he’s not exactly Johnny Depp. Standing in line for a ride and holding a disposable camera, I yelled out his name in the hopes that he would look my way so I could get a picture. He didn’t.

But this was different. It wasn’t just any famous person. It was Doug Jones, the character actor, the monster, the Indiana native. I didn’t know why, but I wanted to connect with him somehow. After I flexed my freelance writer muscle, I secured myself an interview with him. Our acquaintance was in charge of filming special features for the indie, and one day toward the end of filming, he had to interview Doug for the DVD. After he was done, I would get my chance. An entire hour with Doug Jones, to ask him whatever I wanted.

By the way, this was my first celebrity interview ever…and I hadn’t sold the piece to anyone yet. So I had no guidance with which to shape my questions, no real idea how to proceed, and I was a jangle of nerves.

On the day of the interview, I arrived embarrassingly early. I wanted to be able to sit in for Doug’s first interview so that I wouldn’t repeat any questions. When I got to the lounge on the Ball State campus where Doug would be interviewed, they were still setting up the lighting and camera. I had my questions in hand on a lined piece of notebook paper, and they were already wrinkled into oblivion from the way I clenched them too tight in my fist. I made small talk with the crew and sat on the couch waiting.

When Doug arrived, I watched him stroll smoothly into the room and marveled at how tall and thin he was, his head just brushing under the doorway. He appeared otherworldly and statuesque, with long thin fingers that moved elegantly by accident, like antennae. He was physically imposing, the kind of guy who would make perfect sense in a monster suit. Only he was goofy. He was silly and kind of loud and his face could change so dramatically with just a little lift of the eyebrow or tilt of the chin. He was every inch the performer.

I put my cold and nervous hand in his when they introduced us. I played it cool, looking up so high into his face. When he was being interviewed, that’s when I started to slowly unravel. He talked about his career, his life as an actor, his history of roles. He drank from a bottle of grape juice. He spoke about being raised in Indiana. This is where the thin line of thread began to connect, bringing some part of me to an over-eager boil. The way he talked about his life was so similar to the way Mom talked about hers, all her wild anecdotes about entertaining at parties were just like his film set anecdotes. Her stories about the pitfalls of masks and feet and hands and makeup were remarkably similar to his. Her actress’s ability to change and transform from character to character at a moment’s notice was just like his. When he spoke about Abe Sapien, his hands moves like they were in water. When Mom talks about playing a character called Mother Spring, he posture straightens, her head tilts and her eyebrows raise like Glenda the Good Witch.

Doug could’ve been our neighbor or someone we met in community theater. But if he had been our neighbor, things may have been different. My mother wouldn’t have been the lone weirdo in town who made a living donning costumes and fine-tuning her performances. Mom could’ve come out in the mornings dressed like her giant chicken character Henrietta to get the mail. And Doug would’ve come out as a zombie holding his coffee mug to let his dog out, and things might’ve been just a little bit more natural.

Without realizing it, as Doug talked, I had gone from sitting on the couch to sitting on the floor. Indian style. With my hands propped under my chin. Like it was story time.

Then it was my turn.

I do this thing when I’m nervous. I slip into a sort of Pollyanna mode. I smile a lot, probably too much. It must look like I have a slick of Vaseline over my teeth and I can’t close my lips. And I get…peppy might be the word. And chipper. And I say things like, “How do you do?” and I accidentally mirror people’s way of speaking.

I go into a similar mode when I embarrass myself, and this usually goes hand in hand with my moments of nervousness. For example, when I was a freshman in college and walking to my very first class, I took a tumble over the top of my brand new wooden clogs. (Intended to make me look stylish and sophisticated.) In an effort to make a quick recovery, I popped back up, held my scraped palms up in the touchdown symbol and yelled, “And she’s good!” at the top of my lungs while making eye-contact with passing students. My effort at a comeback.

So you see, I am no good when I am nervous. And I was very nervous to talk to Doug.

Doug was a consummate professional, kind and unswerving in the face of an interview that I proceeded to steer so far off course, we could’ve discovered a new country. I asked him what his favorite ride was at Disneyland, I did my impression of Parker Posey, I suggested he play Danny Kaye in a biopic, and at one point I literally asked him how he managed to be such a good actor and stay so humble. To which he said, “Well, I can hardly answer that now can I?” though he did so with a genuine smile on his face. In my memory, he has a small touch of fear in his eyes. But I think that’s my self-conscious imagination at work.

What I was really doing during this personal disaster was asking Doug Jones one thing, even though he didn’t know it, and it was this. Can I make it in this world? Can a monster-obsessed daughter of an actress raised exactly where you were go on to live her dreams and stay her same weird self, make a living, and be valued by society?

He didn’t know he was some kind of a symbol to me, that I had a mother who spent the majority of her life behind costumes entertaining the ungrateful Mid-Western masses, or that he had almost single-handedly cured me of my walking zombie-related night terrors. He only knew that he was being interviewed by a strangely over-enthusiastic and very green journalist who was obviously a big fan.

I think I was performing. Trying to show off and be funny. Trying to bond, which is probably what most stalkers think. I behaved something like a lunatic Mary Catherine Gallagher. Like Lucille Ball trying to get into the show.

At the end of the interview, he gave me a giant hug, something he’s known to do for lots of his fans. He calls it, “giving love” and his arms are so long that they can almost wrap around you twice, and it was all the more sweet because I had completely reverted to my ten year old self during the interview. Doug Jones may be an actor, but if he has another calling in life, it would be to reach out to geeks and nerds everywhere and just calm them down. Because in that hug, I felt totally fine about spazzing out, because the odds are very great that he runs into people like me all the time. People who don’t see him as just a normal guy, which is what he is after all, just a human being who ended up on a cool career path. But people who see him as something they could someday become, maybe, if all their pent-up hopes and dreams come true.

And then Doug and I literally went our separate directions. I called Jake to come and pick me up from the interview location and when he arrived, I was weeping uncontrollably. With relief.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” he asked, after he leaned over in the seat to open my car door.

Through sniffles, probably looking like a girl from the sixties who had just touched Elvis’ cape, I tried to explain that I wasn’t crying because of Doug. I was crying because I realized that it could be done. “We can make it.” I said to him as he put his hand on my knee and smiled a little bit, knowing that I was having some kind of celebrity-initiated personal epiphany. When I said that, I meant he and I in our chosen careers of writing and filmmaking, could find a way not to become pent-up and angry. We could keep going and aspiring to do what we wanted to do and not feel guilty about it.

But I also meant me and my mom, in our quirky and weird personalities, were okay just being who we were. Our ways of always being different and goofy and awkward were fine. After years and years of being told we should just be normal, years of teasing for me in grade school and Mom being called a “stripper” for belly dancing didn’t really matter. Because it’s the weirdos who make good things happen. Who write great books and live adventures and play monsters in movies. It’s the people who embrace their weirdness that get to go on to wonderful things, and this was the first moment that I was truly intellectualizing what most people learn through public service announcements and anti-bullying campaigns.

Mom was just as gifted as Doug, but she had chosen to mother her children and live a normal life in Indiana. But what she did was just as valid as what Doug was doing. And sitting and crying in the car like I was vying for a best actress Oscar, I was really just weeping with pride for my mother, who I just know could’ve been a star. But she chose us instead. Creative work is just like any other work. It’s work. Something to be demystified and planned just like any other career. But this was all news to me, that I could be myself and continue to strive for creative and financial success was a revelation.

So when the girl in the bookstore had heard of me I could certainly understand why. The ironic thing is, I still love Doug Jones, but I don’t think I’d have another personal meltdown if I saw him again. After I published the interview, which was very very bad, on a movie-related website, it was Doug who comforted me via email about what kind of a job I did. I was embarrassed because people were making fun of both of us in the comments section of the interview. Because at that point in time, I didn’t know how to write an interview. So without providing context I simply turned in the questions and answers. So any time Doug would slip into some kind of an accent to make a joke, I let it go unrecorded, so people leaving comments were saying things about how I sounded like a moron (correct) and how he sounded “gay” (incorrect).

Doug wrote me an email the next day. He said, “Now don’t feel bad. What would those angry little high school boys do if they couldn’t say nasty things from the safety of their parents’ basement?” I remembered something he said to me the day of the interview before he hugged me after I read his generous response. “You, young lady, are going to be just fine.”

I’ve interviewed plenty of celebrities since then, and none of them have made me cry. So I guess he was right...for now.

Orlando Attractions Magazine - The Show

2011-08-22T17:02:00.000-07:00

Take a gander at my new day job...writing and co-directing this here internets show. We're still plugging away on technical developments, but the humor is starting to come through.

Do You Knit? Mind if I Do?

2011-08-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

That title was just an Aladdin reference, I don't actually knit. Yes, I know it's weird to reference a nineties animated Disney film for no particular reason, but them's the breaks in my brain, okay? Okay.

Well, it so happens that this really amazing woman named Andrea does knit. It also just so happens that I discovered her via Facebook this week when I shared the fact that I had finally reached REM sleep after a long bout of sleeplessness and the way I knew it was that I was dreaming all night of searching for an authentic "The Dude" sweater for my husband. One can't dream, not even of Jeff Bridges movie memorabilia, without reaching REM sleep. So...hooray!

When I lamented that I had been searching for a Dude sweater for my husband for years, a friend posted a link to AndreaKnits.com showing that this crafty little minx had actually created a knitting pattern, from scratch, to the sweater from The Big Lebowski. I've seen a lot of Lebowski-esque sweaters, but never any perfect pattern replicas until now. Even in dreamland, this lack of authenticity really bothers me. (Sort of the way that they're always giving Batman laser guns and stuff...he doesn't use laser guns, so YOU shouldn't sell them toy people!)

You're probably really lost right now if you've never seen the movie, but just trust me when I tell you that this is the sweater of sweaters. It represents a higher plain of fulfillment reached by Jeff Bridge's character. It's just...perfect.

BEHOLD HER KNITTING PATTERN and marvel...MARVEL I SAY!

Of course, I can't knit. So it doesn't really help me. But it does impress me. I tried to knit once between the summer of sixth and seventh grade. I became fixated with this idea that by attaining a useful skill, I might win myself some form of social immunity. "Don't give me a swirly, I made you this scarf that's really really tiny on one end and super loose on the other!" My plan never worked. I learned too little too late that the barter system doesn't really help in junior high...but not until after I went through a major "I'll learn how to make hush puppies and donuts" month that July.

ANYWAY, I just love a good geek craft. Thought you might too.

Movie Bites - Who Wants Romulan Ale?

2011-08-08T17:29:00.000-07:00

I do!

So I did a little experiment over at SmithBites.com to see if I could recreate the notorious stellar cocktail.

CLICK TO READ

Harrison Ford Settles a Feud

2011-07-29T18:51:00.000-07:00

Harrison Ford has been fairly vocal over the years about being exhausted by the Star Wars franchise. By the press, the events, and the hordes of overzealous fans. He's also been equal parts humble, giving lots of great interviews for behind-the-scenes articles and DVDs. But he teases a lot about being really tired of the whole Star Wars scene.

As it turns out, there was a reason for his calculated distance, and it goes deeper than we ever knew...

Well, obviously that was a joke. But if I were Harrison Ford...I would be seriously over all of us wacky fans constantly in his face.

Geekducation: Bruce Campbell 101

2011-07-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

Bruce Campbell broke the news via Twitter last week that at least one "Evil Dead" remake is in the works with his blessing and the direction of the man himself, Sam Raimi.

Personally, I'm bummed that we won't just get an "Evil Dead 4" starring the real Ash that picks up some years after where "Army of Darkness" left off, perhaps with the skeleton army invading the S Mart via a rip in the space time continuum? How much do you want to see a seasoned Bruce Campbell play an older Ash? But I'm crossing my fingers that he's just toying with us and trying to keep his hopefully starring role a surprise. Above all else, I trust The Chin. So if he likes it, I guess that makes me okay with it by default.

Below, contributor Heather Cichos explores just one of the ways in which life as a geek sometimes intersects with her life as a mother. Bruce Campbell's announcement got her thinking...

“Why is there a naked lady on her shirt?”

What?! I looked down at myself in a panic, relieved to see only my "Evil Dead" t-shirt, the (not-quite-so-naked as she looks at first glance) girl tucked into Ash's protective embrace as he as he guards her (with his strong-jawed, ax-wielding hotness) from the clutching skeletal hands of the dead. (Holy run-on sentence with excessive use of parentheses, Batman! So sue me. I loves me some Bruce Campbell.)

I pulled out the bottom of the shirt to display the image more clearly. “Oh, she's not naked, sweetie! She's just wearing a pink nightie, see?” I explained, mostly for the benefit of the little girl's mother and the school nurse.

I had come to the grade school to pick up my sick daughter, never considering that my attire may be inappropriate. How could I have foreseen that another child would bring my choice of wearable nostalgia to her mother's attention? I felt both embarrassed and defensive. My kids never commented on my choice of clothing. (Except the time my son complimented my choice of a new blue hoodie, informing me, “Gray is not your color.”)

And why was she looking at the scantily-clad but nonetheless decently covered woman, anyway? Had she seriously looked past Bruce's sexy but determined face? His strong (and still present) right hand with double-bladed ax firm in it's grip? But, alas, it is not for me to educate other people's children in the ways of fandom. That's why I suffered through birthing two of my own...little minds to mold and influence.

When I heard that "Evil Dead" was going to be remade, I realized that this was my opportunity to introduce my little geek-spawn to Bruce Campbell. I played the “Remember that other thing you saw him in?” card, which is my usual tactic of trying to breed enthusiasm through familiarity.

“Remember him, guys?” It was more command than request. “He was in all the 'Spiderman' movies! The wrestling ring announcer? The snooty theater usher? The Maitre d'?” (crickets chirping...) “C'mon! Remember seeing him in... he was that guy in...”

Well, crap! The man has a long list of acting credits, but my kids had seen jack-squat. What else could I do? I could point out how cute he is to my daughter, but could she really see his beauty through Bieber colored glasses? She's only eight, and prone to bad dreams, so showing her any of the "Evil Dead" flicks was out of the question. When I watched the first one recently, she plugged her ears to get past the TV in our living room and into the bathroom, creeped out by the cackling laughter coming from the speakers.

But the boy? I sense no fear in him. Ah, yes, the geek is strong with this one. He can be taught that a classic Grade B horror movie can earn an A+.

Heather and her daughter.

Heather Cichos is a determined woman. Determined to make stretch marks sexy. Determined to become a famous author. Determined to ride Audrey's coattails to glory. She lives in Indiana with her husband and two Geeklets, and spends her spare time counseling bald amputee goats suffering from elchupacabraphobia.

"Like It's Quidditch"

2011-07-15T19:19:00.000-07:00

This goes a long way toward cheering me up. The longest running fantasy film series may have seen it's last premiere...but somehow I get the feeling, the joy is FAR from over.

Movie Bites - Is It Really Time To Bid Harry Farewell?

2011-07-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

Recognize the lovely lady in the yellow shirt?

It's Friday night and I still haven't seen the last Harry Potter movie. (Notice how I'm not even referring to it by name?) I'm holding out as long as I can. Normally I'm a midnight showing kind of gal for the big movies. But I just want to delay the inevitable, I need a few more hours, a few more days until Harry Potter is really over. But I'm coping. Today I got to go to Leaky Con 2011 as part of my new duties running "Orlando Attractions Magazine: The Show" and I recently tried to bake my blues away over at Smith Bites.

But I'm not ready...not yet. Have you seen the last movie yet? How will you cope?

HAPPEE BIRTHDAE HARRY

2011-07-13T16:14:00.000-07:00

Not that Harry, the other one...Han. Indy. The man. Thanks for the memories fella! I love you. I mean...uh...greetings on your day of birth. Or something else totally not creepy and definitely professional. (Somewhere out there, I imagine Ford responding to me, "I know." Le Sigh.) What's your favorite Harrison Ford movie? Mine is "Temple of Doom".

Meet Martin Freeman

2011-07-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

Martin as the famous Dr. Watson.

Geeks like me who love the BBC have known about the actor Martin Freeman for some time now. But lots of people stateside don't really know Martin Freeman all that well. So I want to take you through some of his more memorable roles so you can get acquainted with him before you see him as Bilbo Baggins in Peter Jackson's much-anticipated Hobbit movies.

Freeman is one of those actors that feels like he's been around forever. That's partly because he's been working for a long time and partly because there's something classic about both his look and his performances. Freeman is not a leading man. By that I mean that he's a character actor who ended up with roles that suited him perfectly, through years of hard work I'm sure. And that's a compliment. Like many audience members I'm growing really really tired of leading men and women who look like plastic dolls with massive white teeth. I'd rather see someone onscreen that I can relate to, someone who looks real and not like they've been shipped in a sealed air-tight container from a reality TV episode or the streets of Hollywood. Not to issue a back-handed compliment as Freeman is plenty handsome.

All that aside, the best reason to love Martin Freeman is that he gives great performances. Though you may remember him from smaller roles in "Hot Fuzz", "Love Actually" and "Shaun of the Dead" his comedic timing paired with his natural dialogue delivery has landed him a spot representing some of the most iconic characters of all time. Such as...

1. Dr. Watson in "Sherlock Holmes" - For this BBC version of the classic mystery series, Sherlock and Dr. Watson were brought into modern-day London and given stories that resembled the classics in clues and title, sometimes even in their solutions. But these episodes added new bits and pieces rewarding Conan Doyle's faithful readers with what felt like brand new Sherlock material. Personally, I'm a massive Sherlock fan and as such I can tell you that Freeman's performance as Dr. Watson was all at once totally faithful to the books and still somehow felt original. I know, my gushing can be contradictory...

2. Arthur Dent in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" - Here we have another classic piece of British literature where Freeman played our fish out of water lead. In this hilarious book series turned film, Freeman as Dent fumbles his way through outer space armed only with indignation and a confusing guidebook. This was a bit of casting that just felt right, as did the rest of the cast in this film. You know how sometimes you read a book, then you see the movie version and what's onscreen is totally different than what you imagined. Well, this movie was the opposite. Like all the Harry Potter films, Freeman as Arthur Dent felt pitch perfect.

3. Tim Canterbury in "The Office" - The BBC original version of "The Office" had Tim instead of Jim. Just as awkwardly charming, Martin Freeman originated the role in the British version of the series which was sometimes so believable in its realistic discomfort that it was hard not to watch through your hands. But Freeman's Tim was even more ruthless that Krasinski's Jim.

4. Bilbo Baggins in "The Hobbit" - And the role all the book nerds are waiting for...Bilbo Baggins himself. After the months and months of speculation about whether or not these films would even happen, pictures from the set are finally trickling in and to say that Freeman was the right choice would be an understatement. He has all that furrowed-brow worry-wartness you want Bilbo to have, with room for plenty of exuberant adventuring that the story calls the character to grow into. I don't know about you, but I'm already counting the days.

Did you know who Martin Freeman was before this? Or are you new to this British actor?

Origin Stories: Heather Cichos

2011-06-30T08:04:00.000-07:00

Heather Cichos. She of the coming novel-writing fame, she who would shame Bob Vila with her incredible building, sawing, hammering, measuring skills, and she who let me ride on the handlebars of her bike while singing The Beatles' "Birthday" to me the day I turned six. Yes, Heather Cichos is my sister. But wait, there's more!

Her first book is awaiting publication. The comedic novel "Weregrannies" is plum full of pop culture references and features a cast of sweet little old ladies...turned into werewolves. Her forthcoming novels, well, I don't think I'm allowed to tell you about them yet. (Or I think I'd have to kill you.)

But they both take Heather's love of monsters and pop culture and do something brand new with them.

This is her (funny) Origin Story...

It wasn't a radioactive spider that triggered my ascent into geekhood. No...it was the Underoos. When I put them on, I was magically transformed into Wonder Woman. I was instantly hooked.

One amazing Christmas, my big sister Shannon got a Wonder Woman doll to feed our shared obsession. I got the Lone Ranger. He was no Steve Trevor, but he had a horse! And it didn't matter that he was on a smaller scale than Wonder Woman. He still could have kicked Ken's shapeless butt. I can remember the smell of the yellow glue our mom used to re-attach Wonder Woman's leg again and again as we carelessly knocked it off. For the record, she could not do the splits.

Mom was a devout Trekkie and had filled her own childhood with Superman and the Three Stooges, so she understood. She was also very talented with a needle and thread, and she made us costumes to play dress up. One of my favorite old photos features my older sister and I in character. She was Wonder Woman, and I was a ballerina. Shannon's arms were crossed over her chest to showcase the homemade bullet proof bracelets, and her expression said, “I dare you to mess with me!” My expression was more along the lines of, “Duh.” But I rocked that purple tutu!

The years that followed were filled with fantastical characters. If it was unfathomable in real life, I sucked it up like a sponge. The Superfriends introduced me to more obscure heroes like Aquaman and Hawkman. Adam West brought me Batman. I even have vague memories of a live action Spiderman show. And then there was the creative genius that was Jim Henson. The Muppet Show was a constant delight, and when Luke Skywalker himself appeared in a Pigs in Space sketch, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven!

When mom remarried, we gained an instant sister. Leanne was just a few months younger than me, and we three girls were a tight bunch. Together we discovered the joy of being a mermaid after seeing the movie Splash,so mom sewed little mermaid tails for our Barbie dolls. That's right, folks. My mom thought of it first!

Somewhere along the way, Our baby sister Audrey was born, and we had a new little geek to mold after own our likenesses. Ghostbusters came along when she was only two, and though parts of it scared the heck out of her in the theater, the resulting cartoon was a favorite of us all. We got her a sticker book and bought stickers for her every chance we got. When we got our first VCR (complete with a real remote control...on a ridiculously long cord), we acquired our very own copy of Ghostbusters, taped off the tv. I lost count of how many times it satisfied our viewing pleasure somewhere after forty. One time, we watched the whole thing in rewind, and it was great even at high speed with no sound. We sat down once to write out the entire script, but it proved to be too much work, and we stopped soon after Ray's description of a “mass sponge migration”. Shannon's Ghostbusters bedsheets followed her to college.

Other than my overly gummy smile, I was no Molly Ringwald in school. There was no hot rich guy to see past my nerdiness and fall madly in love with me. But so what? I had Jareth the goblin king and a new improved Batman to dream about. In my fantasies, I was a mermaid, a gracefully roller-skating muse, an Amazon princess. When I finally escaped to college, I started dating a guy whose love for Scooby Doo rivaled my own. A man who my mother insisted would look like Harpo Marx if only he'd let her put a curly wig on him. Naturally, I married him. Han Solo and Princess Leia sat on top of our wedding cake.

It's been twenty years since we met, and now we have two children of our own to influence. My eight year old daughter has watched all three seasons of Wonder Woman on DVD (I know...can you believe it was only three?), and plays with the collectible doll my parents gave me long before she was born. My son has watched the Ironman movies with me an obscene number of times. Together, we are loyal Harry Potter devotees. I still speak in fluent Movie-quotese with my sisters, a language which my son is quickly picking up on.

I have a very full life, divided amongst work, family, and numerous creative outlets. I completed my first book, and have two more in the works. I picked up mom's sewing skills, and now my kids have the coolest Halloween costumes in the neighborhood. My daughter sleeps atop the castle loft I built in her room. I literally have too many hobbies and interests to keep up with. I've had to slow down a bit due to carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands, but you can't keep a good geek down.

Little Audrey has surpassed us all in geeklore and actually makes a living that way. She taught me to wave my geek flag high. She is the queen, but I like to think I'm runner-up!

I'd like to add the following bit of music as a special little add-on to my sister's Origin Story. I can't ever hear this music without thinking of her, because she was completely in love with Madmartigan and totally wanted to name her daughter "Elora". (I think her husband vetoed that.) True, I can't do this for my other Origin Story contributors, but what's the fun in working with your sister every now and then if you can't add a little something?

Movie Bites - In Which I Mess Up a Pie

2011-06-29T08:24:00.000-07:00

For this week's installment of "Movie Bites" over at at the delectable food blog Smithbites.com, I tried to make one of the stunning pies from "Waitress". As usual, I failed. But I had fun doing it!

Not only can you learn from my mistakes, you can watch a gorgeous video of how to make chocolate ganache the right way at the end of the blog. Seriously, the video is mouth-watering.

If you're on a diet, you may want to skip it...it's too much temptation to bear. All that glossy melted dark chocolate. *Homer Simpson drooling noise*

Audrey Tells a Story about a Horse

2011-06-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

You might want to turn up your speakers a little bit, this runs kind of quiet. (This was a reading event, meaning I was standing at a mic and not using a lapel mic.) But one of my favorite parts about being a writer is getting the chance to actually tell my own stories. I would've posted the actual video, but I admit to being far too vain. It was less than flattering. Instead, enjoy one relevant photograph throughout! (Think of it like an old-timey radio show and practice some of those critical listening skills.)

The Week in Geek - June 24, 2011

2011-06-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

It was one HECK of a week for a geek. Lots of amazing things happened. Let's recap, shall we?

J.K. Rowling made her official announcement about Pottermore. In a charming little short film, Rowling announced that we could literally write ourselves into the Harry Potter stories.

Yesterday was Joss Whedon's birthday. Happy Birthday to the man who brought us Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly. Thanks man.

Yesterday was also the birthday of The Enchanted Tiki Room which opened on June 23, 1963. Hooray for the pure joy of tropical magic.

I posted two interviews with Star Wars voice actress Ashley Eckstein. (Hear that? That's the sound of me tooting my own horn.)

Writer Cole Farrell wrote a sass-filled re-cap of So You Think You Can Dance that will have you giggling. (The phrases "Aquanet fund" and "backup pantsuits".)

Five Sprockets kept you up to date about what was happening in the world of screenplays and what movies are out this weekend.

Sadly, the last thing I have to report is that Peter Falk has passed away. Must've been tingling in the atmosphere because I watched "Murder By Death" on Netflix just this week. Most people knew him as Columbo. I knew him best...as Grandpa. Godspeed Mr. Falk. Thanks for all the great performances and for being so unique.

Origin Stories - Matt Bergin of "Comics Cure"

2011-06-22T19:45:00.000-07:00

Part comic-book like origin story, part "Tales of Interest" from Futurama...enjoy the first in a series I'm calling "ORIGIN STORIES". For several months I've been thinking about inviting others to contribute their writing somehow here at BFG. I've met and worked with so many amazing geeks over the years and behind-the-scenes, the stories we share about our lives can sometimes be...well...inspirational. After a recent conversation with Ashley Eckstein about the revolutionary idea of (gasp!) supporting our fellow geeks, I feel more compelled than ever to not just spew pop culture references here, but to throw the spotlight on fellow writers and artists who are adding something good to the world without having to sacrifice or downplay their true selves.

In an effort to give some hope and encouragement to the young, the struggling or the hopelessly pop-culture obsessed, I invite you to read the true stories of how being yourself can pay off in the long run. How doing something and getting motivated by your inner geek can yield positive results. You can expect each Origin Story to take on a different tone, as each writer who submits will likely do something unique with the assignment to write their very own origin story.

To inaugurate the series, read how Matt Bergin uses his inner geek to spotlight others for a good (nay, great) cause...

Don't even bother messing with Matt Bergin. Can't you see
you'd be useless against his shield? (Captain America lent
him a miniature prototype.)

My earliest memory is of waking up with a start from blaster fire and the roar of an angry wampa. I had been dozing off in the balcony of a movie theater during the opening moments of The Empire Strikes Back. My mother claims to have taken me to see the original Star Wars, too, on opening weekend no less. I would have been only a few months old, so I don't remember this introduction to the Force. But either way, I got my geek early.

It was a great time to be new to the world--a time when the world was first embracing the big-screen pop adventure that would shape my life. I got to see all the geek classics on those weekend trips to the cineplex. I believed a man could fly. I knew the number to phone home. I road the Delorian back to the future. Be it with wookie or whip at his side, Harrison Ford was the model of a man and the ultimate action hero. When I wasn't the first in line for opening night of every blockbuster of the 80s or orchestrating home versions of each celluloid adventure with the associated toy lines, I was rifling through the dozen or so cardboard boxes that my older brother had filled with comic books through the years. Another early memory that haunts me is of the purple blur of crayon scribbling back and forth in my hand across the interior pages of Giant-Sized X-Men #1. (Poor Thunderbird! Where's that Delorian when you need it?!)

It is impossible for "life" to live up to the rich menagerie of awesome that I and my peers grew up surrounded (bombarded) by. Secret Wars, Superfriends, Rock n' Wrestling, He-Man and GI-Joe--all of these things filled my young, impressionable head with the richest insanity, the curse of the pop culture junkie! The best we can do is try to recreate the magic with our own contributions to the pop matrix. Some of us will succeed, offering to the world the next cool, the latest awesome for a new generation. Most of us will simply spend our days chasing the dragon (or the Dragonball). Chronic nostalgia is our affliction, and it may very well be our legacy.
Geek was, geek is, and geek forever will be.

Resistance was futile. I grew up, but I didn't grow out. Not all the way, at least. Never all the way. If I felt a little too old and awkward playing with action figures, I shifted to video games. When I felt I'd outgrown Saturday cartoons, I switched to pro wrestling mornings and movie matinees. When capes a cowls started to feel too young for my maturing sensibilities, I moved on to the merry mutants and their more adult 'real world' issues. And then it all evolved again, so toys and capes were cool again and I could go back to having it all. Geek is eternal.

When my girlfriend wanted to surprise me by appealing to the geek, she took her very first solo trip to a comic shop and bought me a Madman t-shirt. Now she is my wife. Coincidence?

When my older brother (he of the box-loads of hand-me-down comics) had kids, my first instinct was to start shopping for superhero toys. My second instinct was to begin transporting all of my box-loads of comics from my closets to their basement.

When I had a child of my own, I knew the best way to express myself as a new dad was through my pop culture filter. I spent the first year of my daughter's life chronicling our adventure on ForcesofGeek.com, in a parenting column called Pop on Pop. I took her to comic conventions. I read her comic books and showed her sci-fi and superhero movies. I brought it full circle to my own first year when I sat the kid down in her high chair with a stack of Mum-Mums and the original Star Wars trilogy in the dvd queue. This was all "for the column" according to Matt in the moment. But Matt in reality knows it was to feed the geek. It was to serve the legacy of nostalgia.

And those were the good times. But even in bad--like that time I got cancer--the first thing I thought of when looking for an outlet to express myself was that geek filter. I started a blog called No Cure For Comics during a long year of doctor's appointments, scans, bloodwork, and, ultimately, radiation. It was a rough time--the kind of experience escapism was made for.

When I got better, I didn't need the escape so much myself, but I had a new perspective about others who still did. No Cure became Comics Cure, where instead of writing about geeky things as a means of my own escape, I write about ways geeks like me can help other people in need of a little getaway.

I take my geek with me everywhere. It was everything to me as a kid. It is in everything I do now. And it will be what you remember me by.

MATT BERGIN is a writer and editor of things both geeky and not. His Comic Blog Elite toplist brings the best of the geek blogging community together under one hyperlink-heavy virtual roof, while Comics Cure calls on the comic community of fans, creators, and retailers to geek out on doing good.

Ashley Eckstein Interview - Part 2

2011-06-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

In part 2 of Audrey's interview with Ashley Eckstein, the ladies talk creative empowerment, nerd stereotypes and purchasing power...

Please support Eckstein's company by visiting her website www.heruniverse.com to check out plenty of amazing merchandise and to chime in on the messageboards.

Ashley Eckstein: Why "Her Universe" is More Than Star Wars Shirts

2011-06-20T12:47:00.000-07:00

Audrey and Ashley Eckstein, voice over artist
and owner of "Her Universe", pose next to
Eckstein's Clone Wars character Asoka Tano.

On June 12th, I stood in a long autograph line like I have many times before. It was the last day of Star Wars Weekends at Disney's Hollywood Studios in Orlando, Florida and I had come prepared to meet Ashley Eckstein in the merchandise tent "Jabba's Hut."

I had interviewed Ashley a couple weeks before about her company "Her Universe". I thought that meeting Eckstein, the voice of "Asoka Tano" in the animated Star Wars show "The Clone Wars" for a photo op might make a great ending to the story. But I wasn't prepared to get emotional. I have to tell you this story to get to Ashley's, so bear with me for a minute...

I wasn't prepared to stand in an autograph line and be surrounded by fellow female fans. Mostly young female fans. Almost every other autograph line I've ever experienced has been...I'm sorry to say this...mostly comprised of men. But under the fluorescent lights of the merchandise tent, everywhere I looked I was surrounded by ladies. Moms wearing Star Wars shirts. Pre-teens giggling in ponytails with lightsabers. I had never been to any geek-centric event where I was primarily surrounded by fans of my own gender.

As a fangirl, it's easy to feel like the geek universe is unbalanced. Living in rural Indiana for most of my life, I was used to being outnumbered by guys in my geek life. It started way back in first grade when I came dressed as Indiana Jones for "career day". (God bless my parents for just letting me be myself.) All day long I was told by well-meaning teachers and annoyed little boys that I was dressed "wrong". Not even in first grade under the guise of total fantasy was my geek-ness allowed to pass because I was a girl.

To make a long story short, I've become a little bit jaded. I've spent a lot of time writing about how the media often portrays female characters and lady geeks as over-sexed and oversimplified. I've always considered it something of a calling to defend all of fangirldom in one way or another. Like some sort of Mid-Western misguided member of The Three Amigos, I've always thought that I had to point out any and every injustice of gender in the geek world.

I still feel that it's incredibly important to call out the media when they don't give young lady geeks enough strong role models. And I admit that I love going to battle for the integrity of my fellow fangirls on message boards everywhere. But after having a conversation with Ashley Eckstein about Her Universe, I can honestly say that my perspective has shifted a little bit. Seems like kind of a big epiphany over a clothing line I know, but Eckstein has a lot more to talk about than t-shirts.

Her Universe is Eckstein's freshly minted company of just over a year. Like the rest of us, Eckstein has always been frustrated with the fact that if you wanted a cool Star Wars t-shirt and you are a girl or a woman, you had to go to the little boys section at any major retailer to get it.

Eckstein says, "I (once) witnessed a little girl being told she couldn't carry a Clone Wars backpack because it was for boys. That's what Her Universe is all about. There are so many female fans out there, especially the young ones. The Clone Wars is...to break down that stereotype and say that Star Wars is for everyone. Not just for the girls, for everyone. Trust me, I have a closet full of Star Wars shirts from the little boys section of Target, Wal-Mart, all sorts of places and none of them are for girls."

While it's true that Eckstein founded the company to fill a void, this isn't a company that feels like it's about some militant brand of aggressive, stereotype-perpetuating "Girls rule, guys drool" oversimplified sentiments. Yes, the merchandise is for women. But you won't find that glossy and patronizing girl-power tone that some of us may remember from the nineties. Once upon a time it was a catchy trend and not a real sentiment, like the way that smiley faces and peace signs caught on all over again. But talking to Eckstein about the feel of the company I could tell that she was extremely sincere in her intentions.

"What makes it unique is that it's designed by women for women. We actually work with several men. Some of our in-house designers are guys, we've had some guest designers that are guys. But we have several strong women that are at the heart of the Her Universe company and we all give our input and opinions and put them into the design. Our head designer is a woman, two of my business partners at the top are women and we know what we want. In the past I feel like most of the designs that have been made for women were designed by men. What a man wants on a t-shirt for a woman is different than what a woman wants on a t-shirt for a woman. I think that's the difference there."

All feminist considerations aside, Eckstein is also concerned about the practical. She was eager to create something that was designed to fit the female form. "A little boy's shirt, if you can fit into a little boy's shirt if it fits you in the shoulders up top usually it's too short on the bottom. If it's long enough for you, chances are it's too boxy up at the top. So it looks like you're wearing a sack. There's no perfect fit in a guy's shirt for a women's body."

Can I just speak for lady geeks everywhere when I say, aren't you glad you won't have to wear a Star Wars t-shirt so misshapen that it looks like you cut sleeves and a neck into a pillowcase? On the flip side, you won't see any belly-baring shirts for sale. "It's not always appropriate to have your stomach hang out. We have longer fits, longer cuts. We try to keep it sexy, stylish and classy all at the same time."

Through Her Universe, Eckstein works with designers (and does plenty of design herself) to create geek chic apparel for women. The t-shirts have sleeves that actually fit our arms, and they are long enough to cover our waists. They don't shrink! (And you can trust me, because I purchased my own shirt like the rest of the fans that day. So I don't have "free gift syndrome" where I say everything is awesome just because it didn't cost me anything.)

So far, Her Universe offers primarily Star Wars merchandise, but they've just joined up with SyFy to create a lot more. But I told you this is about more than t-shirts. It is. A lot more. When Ashley and I spoke, the conversation went from shirts to feminism to female empowerment. (As anyone who has talked to me before will tell you, the conversation will inevitably turn to these things. I'm kind of obsessed with action heroines...)

Tina Fey wrote breezily about feminism (and everything else under the sun) in her hilarious memoir "Bossypants". But the page I dog-eared on the first read, the page that felt like she was writing just to me had a lot to do with what Ashley and I talked about. In her chapter "I Don't Care If You Like It", Fey captures perfectly the impulse to try to change the way the world sees you. For me, the way the world sees fangirl culture. Sees me. Lady Geek Extraordinaire. Queen Acne of the Nerd People with terrible vision and a nasty habit of referencing things like "the warp core" in casual conversation as though everyone will know what I'm talking about.

Fey says, "Again, don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions. Go "Over! Under! Through!" and opinions will change organically when you're the boss. Or they won't. Who cares? Do you thing and don't care if they like it."

Ashley Eckstein is doing her thing. While some of us are hunkered over our computers haunting message boards and trying to change misogyny by pretending we're an intellectual Buffy Summers meant to slay every rude or sexist comment, Eckstein is doing her thing. Really well. She's out there creating something new instead of policing something already created. (Writing that sentence made me think of Lloyd Dobler.)

On top of her stellar voice work, she's got a bigger vision for Her Universe that's not only working for older lady geeks like myself, but changing the fate of young fangirls everywhere by showing them that they are not alone. Thus preventing countless bitter or frustrated geeks. Eckstein loves Her Universe for the potential that it has to lend a larger voice to the fangirl community. As we talked, I could hear the conviction in her voice as she tapped into something larger than her own interests.

"The message is, we have to band together and prove that female sci-fi fans are out there. Our voices have to be heard. People are going to start catering to us, people are going to start listening to us. Her Universe as a brand is going to be able to offer you more if we prove that we have a fan base...there are fangirls all over the world. I think we just need to band together and prove that we exist. We're power in numbers is what I'm trying to say."

I geek, therefore I am. We're here. Fangirls are all here. Maybe we just need to do a better job of linking up. I should say, continue to do a better job of linking up. The old (embarrassing/fictional) cultural default is that girls will turn on each other. We're "catty". We're hateful toward one another. So many websites having to do with Comic-Con pit female fans against each other based on who looks more attractive in their costumes. Movie websites are no stranger to this behavior either with their ratings system for which actresses are more attractive than the others.

But like so many other pop-cultural hot spots, sometimes it's the negative nancys who get the most attention. Nobody is paying much attention to the well-behaved websites where girls and women chat about their interests in a calm and respectful manner. So many of us flock to the drama and become outraged. Her Universe is one of the many places on the web that is inviting us into an alternative fangirl lifestyle.

But there are technical issues to leveling the playing field. Sometimes it starts with a price tag. Ashley explains, "Our t-shirts are in the $28.00 - $35.00 range. A lot of the female fans compare them to the prices for guys' shirts or little boys' shirts in Wal Mart or Target. Just to consider, those shirts are being made sometimes fifty thousand shirts at a time because the stores know that the guys are going to come in and buy the shirts. Right now we have to prove sales by ordering a smaller amount (of shirts). Our order numbers are minuscule compared to what Wal Mart is able to order for the boys or the men. Just realize we're offering you a much higher quality shirt."

Eckstein wants fangirls to know that when they won't pay the extra cost of buying a shirt specifically designed for a woman, "We're sending a message to the retailers that says they don't need the product made for them. They're fine with buying a boy's shirt." You can hear the voice of an entrepreneur in her frustration. "It stinks. I wish I could offer the same prices and a wider variety that the guys have but we're not there yet. Even by buying one shirt that sends such a message. If we prove that girls are buying shirts made for girls the retailers are going to listen...sorry I just went off on a long-winded tangent!" She said it like she needed to apologize. I speak tangent. I live tangent. I think most fangirls do, our centers are made up of compressed nerdy passion. I get that and I can tell you firsthand from experience, so does Eckstein who means absolutely every word she says.

When I was the age of so many of the young Star Wars fans in the autograph line that day, I didn't have anything like Her Universe merchandise, or the messageboards where they can find other geek girls like themselves. Sure, it's primarily a clothing company. But talk to Ashley for two minutes and you realize, it's not primarily about the money. (Though there would be nothing wrong with that if it was. Hooray for free enterprise!)

It's about building a landing platform for a sub-culture, women who love sci-fi are underrepresented. Or so it feels. They're not actually, women are out there working on the films and TV shows and books and comics that we all love so well. We just don't hear about it very often because they are busy doing their thing. There's a disconnect between those of us who write about what we think we see vs. what's actually happening. A large portion of fangirls feel isolated. Maybe we need more behind-the-scenes information or videos or something...I don't know. (Oh wait, Her Universe is doing that too! Check this out!)

Her Universe will be at San Diego Comic Con this year. Soon they will be debuting new Star Wars jewelry as well as their new SyFy line. You can hear the voice of Ashley Eckstein in "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" when it returns with a brand new season this fall Friday nights on Cartoon Network.

On top of that, the Padme Nouveau shirt is really very cool. I suggest you go buy one. Right now. They also have one called the "I Know" (my personal favorite) and if your heart just fluttered, you know you're a Star Wars geek.

I make an effort to make a serious examination of the more important aspects of all geek culture...but can I just say...I LOVE all the Her Universe merchandise. I've been haunting the website ever since I found out about it, and if you read this blog I can almost guarantee that you are going to love it too. Aside from fostering a sense of community and positivity, the site is just plain fun to visit.

***

Many thanks to Ashley Eckstein for putting up with my sometimes overly serious questions...comes from a couple of years working for NPR. It took me much longer to process and post this interview than it normally does, part of that whole moving 1000 miles away thing. But as an apology, I'm going to give you some great bonus audio from my interview with Ashley tomorrow. (Because I can't interview a voice over artist and not let you hear her voice! That would just be cruel of me.) I'll give you a few snippets of our conversation that didn't make the cut and plenty of pictures of some more Her Universe merchandise. Think of it as a way to browse without having to do any of the work. You can listen to the bonus audio, look at the pretty pictures and relax!

In Which Audrey Goes Full On Crazy-Eyed Super Geek Over Star Trek

2011-06-16T15:20:00.000-07:00

So...this is my semi-new regular gig for Orlando Attractions Magazine, hosting their weekly theme park series "The Show". (You can also check out my interview with the original Dreamfinder in this summer's print issue.) "The Show" has a great roster of hosts already in place, and I'm happy to be a new member of the team. You can expect me to pop up here every month or two. But I hope you'll check it out every week.

This week I got to visit the Arabian Nights dinner attraction and best of all, I got to visit The Kennedy Space Center to see Star Trek: The Exhibition!!! It's a Trekkie's dream come true! (Though I'm embarrassed to tell you that I kept referring to it as Star Trek: The Exhibit. D'oh!)

Last Day of Star Wars Weekends and New Life in Geek Heaven

2011-06-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

This is how my mother-in-law helped us move. (That's one of
my voice-over microphones she found in the stash of stuff.)

Longest Blog Title Ever. I know. But I have a lot to catch you up on.

It's official, I am a citizen of Orlando, Florida. I hate to be such a cliche already, but I'm sitting here with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice pretending I'm Bea Arthur. No seriously...I'm drinking orange juice that I just squeezed. (And yelling at an invisible Rose Nylund. Later I shall pantomime hitting her over the head with a rolled up newspaper. If you've never seen an episode of The Golden Girls, then I truly sound insane right now. But hey, what's new?)

Well, I guess I'm not official until I get my new driver's license. But we're all moved in to our new place, I've been swimming five times and yesterday Jake and I spent our first day at a Disney park. So it certainly feels official.

We were going to be sensible. Honest, we were! Save money on our first Florida weekend. Stay in and catch up on laundry. Pet the cats.

Yeah right...

We moved to Florida for a lot of reasons, but the theme parks are probably number one. Yes, the sunshine is awesome. The absence of a frozen tundra come this winter will be great. Sure, the massive amount of production work going on down here all the time suits our professional lives. But let's be honest, Jake and I are the couple who over three years ago started our own theme park-based webisode series just for fun. So yes, the theme parks are what we are most excited about.

Pair that with the fact that yesterday was the very last day of Star Wars weekends at Disney's Hollywood Studios and we almost didn't have a choice. So we sunscreened up and drove the ten or so minutes (*sheepish grin*) to Disney property and went absolutely STAR WARS GEEK CRAZY.

But first I should back up. The second day that we lived here, we visited Downtown Disney. A kind of outdoor mall from heaven replete...replete I say...with fabulously themed shops and restaurants. All my life, being the Indiana Jones/adventure genre fan that I am, people have told me that I must visit a place called the Adventurer's Club. Which I was sad to see was closed...

Jake was also none too pleased.

But I found a way to make him feel much better. A pint of Guiness at a lovely Irish pub and restaurant called "Cookes of Dublin" where I learned that you NEVER go to an Irish bartender and ask for "Strongbow". (An English Cider.) You instead order a "Magners", which is essentially the exact same thing. But Irish. And I confess...just a bit tastier. See? I'm already learning valuable new cultural information!

The very next night we went grocery shopping, fearing that if we didn't stock up on essentials we would happily spend ourselves into bankruptcy on all the amazing cuisine just minutes away. (Cuban food! Irish food! A GHIRARDELLIS CHOCOLATE SHOP!) While we were waiting in line, we were reminded that it was the last Star Wars weekend of the year at Hollywood Studios because an Imperial Guard and two helmet-less Stormtroopers were also checking out at Publix. At this point I actually looked at Jake and said, "Have I died? Is this heaven? Is Star Wars really going to be this much of a part of our reality now?

Oh yeah and P.S. I got my first call to do some video/hosting work for Orlando Attractions Magazine on Friday. To see a special sneak preview of Star Trek: The Exhibition at the Kennedy Space Center! A place I have never been to before. A place I have dreamed about visiting ever since I saw "Space Camp" in fifth grade. I may or may not have shed a tear or two sitting in the back seat as we approached the building. Best working day of my life...so far. Though I admit it was super weird not working with Jake behind camera. We need to get all our California episodes out ASAP!

But enough of all this catching up nonsense. On to more important matters. Star Wars weekends! At the gates, crowds were greeted by storm troopers scanning for Jedi and Star Wars music blasting over the loud speakers. Again...a tear or two (of sheer joy, I assure you) may have been shed.

In case you missed it and you were wondering, "Why on Earth would she post a photo of herself making a face that gives her that Sharpay forehead?" Look again, above my head and a little to the right. Stormtrooper! There were dozens patrolling the parks all day. In fact, EVERYONE was in the parks. Vader, Luke and Leia, even the Mos Eisley Cantina Band was out and about!

Don't call him a Stormtrooper...he's a Clone Trooper. Get it right. *pushes glasses up nose*

See? More Jedi than you can shake a stick at. I wouldn't do that if I were you though.

By the way, that included celebrities. As you can see from the second photo below, the incomparable stunt genius Ray Park was there. Luckily I got to see all the visiting celebrities in the 1:00 Star Wars parade that rolled down the main drag like an answer to a geek's prayer. But during that time I was far too busy screaming at them the way Will Ferrell screams at Santa in "ELF" to even think about taking pictures. This same phenomena took me over when I accidentally ran across Peter Mayhew (I'm not even going to tell you who that is if you don't already know. If you don't know, you probably don't read this blog anyway.) as he was being wheeled (broken foot I think) past me to an autograph session. I may or may not have started dancing like Snoopy and stuttering like Lou Costello.

But none of that is even the best part. The best part is the brand new Star Tours ride. Star Tours has been around for years and years. I first visited with my mom, aunt and cousins around the time that the original ride opened. But there's been much buzz about the new version of the ride that I tried to ignore completely. I wanted to be surprised...and boy was I surprised. And I want you to be surprised too! So I'm not saying much of anything. But I will give you some pictures from the ride line and some great shots of Star Wars merchandise from the event tent aptly named "Jabba's Hut".

That would be a Donalf Duck version of Han in Carbonite and if you look very very closely you will see my very favorite henchmen sitting near him on the top right. I heart Salacious Crumb.

No explanation neccesary for these right?

And now for the ride photos..well, line photos. But still. If you don't know, Star Tours follows the concept that you are boarding a tourist shuttle in the Star Wars universe. Much like an airport, the line takes you through security and you can also see when flights are arriving and departing and you can even watch C3PO and R2 running pre-flight checks. (I'll try to insert a video. Sorry for the jumpy quality of it, it was shot on my iPhone and I don't have a very steady hand with it yet. I'm used to shooting with a regular camera.)

The outdoor portion of the line is built to look like Endor. No Ewoks though. Bummer.

Here's the video of R2 and C3PO. It's a little dark and the audio is kind of muddled, but I just couldn't pass it by.

Also, the line has a million little details and flourishes that fans of all ages can appreciate. The level of theming at work here is stupendous and I have to say, Star Wars fans get the most love back from their creators out of anyone. All this! This little slice of "Let's all play pretend that Star Wars is real life together for a few weekends." Just for us? Amazing. We should all be more thankful to Papa Lucas. (Did that just get weird? Too far?) Anyway, there are also lots of references to the original ride that I appreciated. (Including a pilot droid you may recognize, with some occasional flourishes of Paul Reubens voice-over still in play.)

Anyway, there was a fun little silhouette section of hallway in the line that I wanted you to see. Of course, when I pointed the camera at it, the fun ones stopped coming by. But still, I want you to get the idea. Here's some video. When you visit, try to spot recognizable characters and Star Wars species as they pass. If you get motion sickness, you may want to skip this one.

Well, I gave myself an hour of my morning to write a quick catch up blog before it was back to work for me. I'm practically sitting under a pile of work. All fun work, of course. But work that must be done nonetheless. Being the realist that I am, instead of giving myself the week off to move, I tried to keep working. Needless to say, I failed. So now it's catch up time. Lots of editing and VO and writing.

So here is where I leave you, with the promise of another very cool post coming this week...from Geek Heaven, Wish You Were Here!!! Enjoy the view from my new office.

Busy Movin' On Up

2011-06-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

I'm moving! Literally. I don't mean I'm changing url's. I mean I'm currently packing to undergo a thousand mile move. (Cue the Vanessa Carlton...no wait, don't.) Born For Geekdom still has a series of summer interviews that are going to knock your socks off with video, sound and pictures to boot as well as a brand new blog schedule. I'll only be absent for another week or so. Until then, please let Curtis Mayfield do the talking for me while I'm away. Listen to the man. He speaks the truth. (And you thought I was going to post the theme song for The Jeffersons, didn't you? Maybe next time.)

Why "On Stranger Tides" Didn't Recapture the Magic

2011-05-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

My shameless summer of movies has officially begun. I came up with the idea to see a movie in theaters at least once a week all summer back in April. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But here I am neck deep in work, with videos sitting unedited, interviews to edit, and more freelance than I can...as they say...shake a stick at. To top it off, we're moving hundreds of miles away in exactly two weeks and I haven't packed a single dish.

Yet I'm finding that forcing myself to spend the time and the money to see at least one movie a week is soothing. It gives me an opportunity to step away from the week, to schedule an afternoon here or there with a loved one.

I saw "Thor" with Jake and my Dad. It was harmless fun that managed to maintain a surprising amount of the comic book visuals. It was a perfect appetizer to the upcoming summer movies. Light and fluffy. A no calorie endeavor. But enjoyable while you're having it.

I missed "Bridesmaids" and hope to make up for it. I'm eager to support the movie that has been such a sensation with feminists and normal people alike. (That was a joke...I'm a feminist so I can make fun of myself.)

Then last Sunday, I saw "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" and the proverbial record screeched to a metaphorical stop. I started my shameless summer of movies because I was upset with myself for becoming so critical. For losing my love affair with the movies. Pirates should have been easy to love. But there's a reason why I waited so long to write about it. It's forcing me to confront that which I don't want to accept. My critical nature. The one I hate. The one I want to beat down with a baseball bat a la the werewolf hand above the fog "The Howling" style.

I should preface by saying that when "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" came out I saw it in theaters four times. I begged for the DVD for Christmas. I practically wore the special features down by watching them over and over and over and over again. They put me in my happy place even more than the actual movie did. But the movie? It was note perfect. An adventure that played on the cliches and conventions of it's own genre while simultaneously creating something entirely new. There were plenty of fun ride references for this Disneyphile and the film itself was visually beautiful. It was practically the perfect adventure.

As always with my reviews, this is a long one. So feel free to scroll down and read "Get to the Point" which is a condensed version of the review. Also, spoilers abound.

Beautiful mermaids? Won't that be fun?
Think again Mister...no fun for you!

Cut to last Sunday driving home from On Stranger Tides and I'm running through a list of possibilities about why I didn't like the movie.

Were there things I did like? You bet. I liked that they even made the movie. I liked their core concepts. I liked the casting. I enjoyed the performances, which were really good despite a lack of coherent material at times. And I'm a HUGE fan of this franchise. The first movie was a game-changer. So I'm not a ready-made Pirates hater. I'll always plunk down ticket money for one of these movies, no matter what. Always. And I'd be the first nerd to line up days before a premiere just to get to be there.

Am I a bitter fan? No, I love the first two Pirates movies and the ride and all the cheesy shrink-wrapped commercialism that surrounds the new Pirates universe.

Was there a reason why I didn't want to like it? No. I loved the cast. I was grateful they were going to go back and do it again after the dark and depressing third movie. I was ready for a redemption.

Had my tastes changed too much since the first movie debuted in 2003? Nope, I'm still the girl that pops in "The Haunted Mansion" just to cheer myself up on a gloomy day. So I can't be all snob now.

Here's the honest truth. From a writing stand point, the movie was boring. That's just the God's honest truth. It was boring. And I know exactly why I was bored. I've thought this out, I've jotted down notes trying to figure out why the movie didn't work the way Einstein may have tried to work out mathematical equations. I haven't read a single review or article about the movie anywhere else. If I'm going to continue my shameless summer of movies, I need to confront On Stranger Tides my way first and then see if the critics agree with me, though I wince to ponder where we may differ and I HATE the idea of criticizing a franchise that I want to continue. I wanted to like the movie. I really really wanted to like it. But the writing folded in on itself and, well...

Here's why the movie didn't work for me.

1. The story was too convoluted. The plot was nearly impossible to follow on a first watch. I'm sure there are answers for everything. That every little nuance and tiny snippet of a scene answers some other complication. Writers Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio are good with complicated plots in the mathematical sense of the word, just listen to their commentaries for the first two Pirates movies and you'll see what I mean. (There is no commentary for the third.)

But an audience should be able to follow the plot without getting confused on a first watch. The first Pirates movie played out like a mystery and therefore when we encountered scenes or moments we didn't understand, we could go along with it knowing that the plot was unraveling. But we were asked to accept too much at face value this time. Why did we jump into the film when so much had changed from the conclusion of the last film?

At the end of the last film, they had the perfect set-up. Barbossa and Sparrow were set to race to the fountain of youth. We had finally jettisoned all the soap opera madness that had entangled the second two movies. We were finally to a place where we could have some fun again. FUN! Light blue waters, wacky heists, swashbuckling, and lighter stakes than world-ending, death-bringing consequences. But we see at the introduction to "On Stranger Tides" that all is lost again. Sparrow is shipless again, the crew has been split up, Barbossa lost the Pearl and a leg, and everyone is completely out of power again. It made me tired. It made me frustrated. Raising the stakes in a franchise doesn't mean that you have to take all the power away from all of your lead characters.

The original film unraveled around a centerpiece. So we could accept the unknowns in the story fully realizing that everything centered around that necklace, that piece of pirate gold worn by Keira Knightley's character. The characters reactions told us that. The camera itself told us that, zooming in on the prop multiple times. We were quite literally along for the ride. On Stranger Tides offers us no such comfort. We have mentions of important props long before we see them. We have other props that are meant to be cool little points of interest but instead act as confusing red herrings. (Ships in a bottle, the Missionary's Bible, Blackbeard's sword, a cream puff that seems all too important for a minute, a flaming wagon that seems like it will pay off by starting a chain reaction but instead is just there to look cool.) The first Pirates movie and less so the following two trained us to watch a certain way. This one changes the rules without telling the audience. No one central prop to draw our focus or help us to stay patient amidst the chaos of scenes and characters, which brings me to my next point...

2. There were just too many characters. We just didn't need a cast so big that we never got to spend any adequate time with anybody. The amazing idea to bring Blackbeard on was almost completely wasted for his lack of screen time. We didn't get to know him or understand him in any way. The amazing Penelope Cruz was wasted. We got more backstory for her than we did for anyone else. But still, when did she meet up with her father? How did she convince him she was his real daughter? We don't know. That's not to mention the Spanish army getting involved...or wait...was that Columbus? And also, who was the guy who got pulled up in the fishing net at the beginning and what did he have? I'm sure there are answers to these questions and please provide them in the comments section. My point is, the writing of the movie pointed to several different characters at key moments in the movie and then dropped them completely or barely paid them off.

Oh the promise of a cool new character...

Then there was the Keira Knightley/Orlando Bloom replacement duo of the mermaid and the missionary. These two present the perfect argument for why you should avoid writing yourself into a routine. They followed a certain romantic formula from the first film in which Bloom and Knightley were the real lead characters and Jack Sparrow was the wild card character.

This time, the two romantic leads are barely onscreen. They aren't really leads at all, they are peripheral to the story. We don't get to know them or understand them, therefore as an audience we feel zero emotional attachment and anytime they were onscreen I was just wishing they would be gone so I could get back to what was supposed to be the main story. A mermaid and a missionary falling in love? Amazing idea. But it fell completely flat because they felt crammed into an otherwise completely full story. They should have been cut so we could spend more time with Cruz, Depp, Rush and McShane.

3. The film itself was too dark. I don't even mean in tone, though I'll get to that in a minute. I mean visually. I suspect that it's cheaper somehow to create all these visual effects set at night than it is to work with the glaring sun. In this movie, every ship is dirty and disgusting. Almost all the water is murky and creepy. All the rock is black and we barely get any of those beautiful tropical locations we so long to see in a movie of the adventure genre. When we do, we don't really understand where we are or how long it took to get there.

Tone wise...the movie jumped the shark for me when the mermaids
started punching through the bottom of the boat zombie-style. I appreciate that they wanted to shake up the mermaid myth a little bit. But it became laughable. The moment was almost too serious to believe. And once again...why so bloody violent? It just seemed silly. Part of me was just longing to see actual mermaid performers with real practical tails on swimming around. This was another case, I think, of unnecessary CG. They had yet another opportunity for some moments of beauty and they turned it into another dark killfest. There was just something visual about this movie that felt dingy. Ron Howard's mermaid from "Splash" a movie made over twenty years ago, felt so much more authentic and realistic than the CG mermaids in this movie.

4. Oh heck, let's just get back to listing...

Yet again, the strong female lead ends up stranded on an island at the end. And can someone please explain to me why he did that? Sparrow comes full circle by becoming the villain. By perpetrating the very act that jump-started his entire quest in the first movie. It made me kind of hate the guy for a minute...

Another thing, Sparrow was the quest-less victim in this movie. What did he ultimately want? Not much but to survive. Which equals not much fun to watch.

The zombies. Another idea that probably seemed like a surefire winner in the pitch room, but once again...WHY? They didn't do anything. They served almost no purpose but to further jam the script with red herrings and random points of interest that didn't serve the story. I think they were meant to show Blackbeard's cruelty, but we got that when he burnt a man alive.

Also, the physical universe of this film has become cartoonish in an unbelievable way. When Jack Sparrow can manipulate palm trees like Tom and Jerry can bang each other over the heads with mallets...I just don't feel the danger or the joy. I disconnect. In the first movie, when someone fell off a boat it was serious business. When Sparrow went wildly swinging through the air, even he was terrified. Now we can jump off cliffs head first, grab poisonous snakes without thinking twice and bungee jump from one palm tree to another without batting an eye. Though once again, if done practically and without CGI, those moments could have felt very real and authentic. What if they had used a real snake for Cruz to grab and CGI's those poison-indicating red stripes in after? In this case, it's not the writing. It's the authenticity with which the final moment is played on screen, and the CGI hurt those moments.

That's not to mention the traffic jam of supernatural happenings that are now no longer given explanations. The ships in bottles were very very cool, but how did Blackbeard do the things he did? I get that it was his sword. But can someone explain to me how and why Blackbeard did the magical things that he did? Is this some part of pirate lore that everyone knows and understands but me? I suspect that may be the case. But the sword was a nifty enough concept that it could've been lingered on or at least explained. Where did he get it? How does it work? I wanted to know. Did you?

Get to the Point

I hate myself for being the guy who can't just sit back and relax and watch a movie anymore. It's one of the consequences of life as a writer. And counter to what I'm saying, I'm glad they at least tried it again. But I'm begging. Praying. SCREAMING for someone to get their hands on this franchise that will take it back to being FUN AGAIN. Fun, fun, fun. We want fun. And I can feel that they tried. But the film felt like a series of vignettes, stuff somebody thought would be cool but ultimately doesn't blend into one coherent story. This script needed to be trimmed. Drastically. And the tone could use a bit of light-heartedness.

All I can say is what I've said for Indiana Jones and this very franchise before...keep trying...the box office proves that we'll see any pirates movie at least once. Your cast was wonderful. Your core concepts were winners. But slow the script down a bit, let us get to know your new hires and your new magical props. Forget having three sets of bad guys...just pick one. Let us see Barbossa captaining, let us see Jack Sparrow's steely-eyed focus set upon something he himself wants to accomplish. Front-load the action and plot so we can follow the story and feel invested in the action scenes so they don't feel hollow. Create a movie with re-watch value.

More than anything else, start fresh. Do something new with your characters. Don't try to copy the formula of the first film. Trust that you have created characters we care about and go from there. And for God's sake...no more burning people alive.

My hope is that Depp and Disney will snag some new writers (Much respect to Elliot and Rossio, I just think maybe they feel too much pressure to build upon their own creations. But they've created an entire universe that could be added to with some fresh perspectives.), snag a new director and start going at these things like Bond movies. One at a time, carefully thought out, smaller stories.

What did you think?

Conan O'Brien Can't Stop

2011-05-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

Oh, THIS...is going to be GOOD.

Brad Meltzer's Decoded: 24 Hour Giveaway Contest!

2011-05-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

Are you a fan of the new series Brad Meltzer's Decoded? I was. I stuck with the show during it's initial year. Like all shows, it hit some high and lows. All the good shows do in their first season, it's called "development" and most networks don't give shows the chance to evolve like that anymore.

Remember how in the first episode of "The Golden Girls" they had a live-in cook named "Coco"? He was gone in episode two...gone but not forgotten. I miss you Coco.

If you like Decoded and you want the chance to win the first season on DVD, or if you didn't see it and want to watch it marathon-style in your own home, I'm running a quick contest. Of course, I guess you could also just buy it HERE. But then, you wouldn't have the satisfaction of winning.

To win, follow these instructions very carefully:

1. Email me a message with the subject heading DECODED GIVEAWAY. You can email bornforgeekdom@gmail.com (It's the title of the blog, no spaces at gmail.com)

2. Write me an awesome fake conspiracy theory! For example, "Bigfoot is actually the chief in command of an invading ground force of aliens from the planet Zebulon. And Elvis was his cousin." Or something...be much more clever than that...

3. I'll post the winner's conspiracy theory here at noon tomorrow along with two runners up. But only the winner will get season one of Brad Meltzer's Decoded on DVD. (There can be only one.)

Last Launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavor or Where is Kate Capshaw When You Need Her?

2011-05-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

It’s just as breathtaking as it’s ever been watching the last launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavor on NBC. Just like every other shuttle launch I’ve ever watched, this moment fills me with hope and pride and some kind of Christmas morning excitement.

The brilliant orange explosion powering the shuttle into space dampens, the rockets safely separate from the ship, and the circular white halo of light from the back of the shuttle that now looks like a spaceship proper undulates and sparkles as it passes through the atmosphere into the strangely familiar blanket of black space.

We as a nation still have one launch left to go, but I feel just as crushed as if this were the last one. Just as I did in Florida a few years ago when I caught one of the launches by accident on a vacation, racing to the top of my concrete hotel room stairs to watch the same orange spark crawl up the sky. Knowing then, as I do now, that we’re counting down. Not to lift off, but to the true end of an era.

Like most little kids I dreamed of becoming an astronaut one day. My inspirations were Star Trek, Star Wars and Kate Capshaw in Space Camp. We watched Space Camp one random day in fifth grade and it just astonished me. I had never seen Capshaw as anything but the terrified Willie Scott and I had certainly never even thought to imagine being accidentally launched into space. I don't think I even knew that NASA's Space Camp existed before that movie. Let's just say, it was a paradigm shift.

Despite my long cultivated love of science fiction, I have also always loved science reality. And the space shuttle program has brought us untold new technologies forged in the strange conditions of space as results of experiments and practical provisions invented to assist astronauts.

I’ve always been overenthusiastic about the very idea of space. Not just as a child either. Almost precisely one month ago today I was standing in line for the Epcot ride “Mission Space” with my best friend Lindsay. The ride is built using actual astronaut training technology, the centrifugal spinners you see parodied in “Spies Like Us” and “The Simpsons” space launch episode.

Mission Space is my favorite ride at Epcot. I love every moment of the line, every visual provided, and the reverence that the environment produces in me. It’s like being in a church for a space geek. Gary Sinise stars in a little informational video about the ride (You can watch the video at the end of the blog, stop watching at the 3:00 mark though or it will spoil the ride if you've never been on it before.) teaching you how to properly board and where your seat belt is and all that mundane stuff.

True to Disney form, the entire event is wrapped in the beautiful fictional premise that you are actually about to board a shuttle mission to Mars. YOU are an astronaut. While we stood in the line watching the video, I felt a swell of patriotic pride. I rode that wave all the way to its emotional conclusion and at the end of the video when Sinise congratulated us all on completing our astronaut training, I applauded. Loud. Lindsay laughed and all the other riders looked at me in shock. I may have even said, “Yay!”

Then, after the blush of embarrassment came a wave of sadness. Though there’s still hope for private space programs such as Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic, though there's a .05% chance that the shuttle program may someday be reinstated, though it was not necessarily our best technological option to begin with for its astronomical cost (excuse the pun) it suddenly breaks my heart when I realize…none of these kids will dream of growing up to pilot a space shuttle. That is why they think my enthusiasm is so misplaced. To them, this is just a ride. A true slice of fiction.

Here’s the thing, I had just as much of a chance of growing up to be Richard Kiel than I did of growing up to pilot a space shuttle. If ever anyone was meant for the arts and not for the sciences…it was me. I flourished in biology classes, but I took to math the way Dracula takes to garlic. So I never really had a shot at my astronaut dream. But if Kate Capshaw and her squad of geeky space camp students could accidentally get blasted into space, maybe I could Mr. Magoo my way into a similar accidental fate? (Yes I know, it wasn't real. But remember, I was using the hope inspired by a child's logic. A child obsessed with movies no less...)

But now, not even the poor little math-deficient dum dums like me can dream of becoming a real American hero or of working for NASA. (Or visiting on a day when someone falls asleep at the control panel and their coffee cup just so happens to spill on the big red cartoon “launch” button right after you’ve toured the shuttle “The Right Stuff” style and been strapped in during a demonstration.)

My only hope now is that innovation will occur. That like every other time in the history of our country when we’ve been down and out, that the geeks will rise up and find a way to begin again. Maybe NASA will take on some new form and function; maybe Branson's aforementioned private space travel will be the next great source of leaps in technology. Maybe space travel will enjoy a resurgence in popularity because of something we don’t even know about yet.

I just know that there’s one more shuttle launch left, one more beautiful orange point of light vanishing into the blue. I’m scared about what might vanish with it. And I feel like I’m the only one in the world who feels like crying right now, who wants to go door to door and lecture people on the importance of the program, or NASA in general. I want to walk around their house and pick things up, “See this? This ballpoint pen you’re using was invented for the space program. So was this Velcro! Put down that glass of Tang and listen to me. Oh wait, Tang came from the Space program too! And GPS and the microwave and…what? You’re calling the police? Okay, I’ll leave.” The way a fashion maven may want to point to the discount blouse you bought yesterday and explain the way that its style trickled down from the runway designs of two years ago, that’s how responsible I feel for explaining to people why the shuttle program mattered. Matters. I hate that the past tense has already accidentally infected my space speech.

I want space travel to be a thing again. A source of national pride. Something we can all get excited about. Something the public tries to understand instead of ignorantly sweeping into the “waste of money” category that so many politicians oversimplify in campaign speeches.

Space is hope and invention and the best of humanity coming together to cooperate and work together. Do you know how often that happens? Well…here on Earth…just about never.

So I guess there’s nothing to do but grieve and worry and keep Googling “the privatization of space programs”. And maybe watch Space Camp today.

Enjoy the Gary Sinise "Mission Space" training video:

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - The World Premiere

2011-05-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

There be changes coming to this here blog...I know, it's a cheesy way to tell you about them. But in all the excitement of my graduation weekend, I missed all the POTC: On Stranger Tides premiere fun. One of my favorite parts of summer movie season involves searching for footage from the red carpet premieres and none of them are ever as fun as the Pirates premieres. Because the Pirates movies always premiere at Disneyland. (Check out plenty of red-carpet interviews from the premiere yesterday uploaded by the Los Angeles Times. Here's one from Kevin McNally, otherwise known as Mr. Gibbs!) Here's a quick re-cap of the premiere.

And oh yeah, about those changes, soon you can expect to see a regular schedule of posts here at Born For Geekdom including more videos and even the occasional guest post from fellow geeks. I'll post full details about the new schedule soon. Until then...enjoy another little sneak peek at the impending adventure...

I Was Late to the Captain Eo Nostalgia Party

2011-05-05T07:23:00.000-07:00

But hey, better late than never...Check out this month's Retro Orlando. Instead of pining for an attraction of yesteryear, I decided for once to write about a wish come true instead of my traditional theme park whining.

As a bonus, my editor posted a really cool video at the end of the blog done by the magazine back when Captain Eo first premiered again in 2010. It has interviews and some in-theater footage of that cheering audience I mention in my article. Gave me the warm fuzzies to think that the energetic audience wasn't unique to my experience, but is, in fact, a regular occurrence.

One for Each Other and All for One!

2011-05-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

"The Three Great Amigos are we!"

Empire Magazine got the holy trinity of eighties movie glory to reunite for an upcoming article and they've been kind enough to share all kinds of preview goodies with the world.

Enjoy the quick preview video from Empire below...

Thor and The 2011 Shameless Summer of Movies

2011-05-04T05:25:00.000-07:00

I recently started a new gig as a "Movie Editor" for Yahoo. Don't be confused by the term "editor". In this case, it just means "writer". (Editing always involves writing...and vice versa.)

Check out my first "Yahoo Movies" article Last Minute Worries for Thor, a movie I will be seeing and reviewing this Friday. (And yes, I found a way to work Conan O'Brien's brilliance in there. Just barely.) But the way I wrote the article struck me when I read it again after it was published yesterday. I thought to myself after I read it, when did I become so cynical? When did I start thinking of movies in terms of lists of things that made me nervous before I even saw them? Was it The Crystal Skull? What killed my joy?

So I'm going to investigate and try to change that as part of new blog initiative I'm calling...

"The 2011 Shameless Summer of Movies".

As a film critic/raving fangirl, I'm tired of the voices in my head. No, not the kind you're thinking of. The kind that come from years of dealing with nasty anonymous comments posted on blogs and reviews I've written about movies. I realized recently that if I don't just allow myself to see whatever movie I want to see without apologizing for it, I'm going to lose my love of film.

When you review movies, you start to feel a certain kind of pressure. You get so many negative comments like, "I can't believe you went to see this crap." or, "Why even bother writing a review?", not to mention feedback from other bitter critics who disagree with you, feedback from some of my fellow female critics who think that what I'm saying isn't feminist enough or it's too feminist. Sidebar: I'm so tired of all the wars between women writers fighting to say what's the "right" female opinion. There is no such thing, just write what you are passionate about and know that people will disagree with you, but I digress...that's another blog entry entirely. It should also be noted that there are plenty of supportive film critics out there that make discussing movies fun fun again...but I guess I'm still looking for my Siskel. Someone I can debate with and still have a good time. Anyway...

Needless to say, when you're a critic/film writer, you're never anyone's best friend. That's normal and it comes with the territory, but it has started to affect my lifelong love affair with movies in a really negative way. I realized the other day that the only movie I've seen this year has been "The King's Speech". I was almost afraid to see and write about anything else, knowing the deluge of nasty comments and emails it might get me if I gave in and went to see all the mindless rom coms and cheesy action comedies that I miss so much.

In other words, I'm in serious danger of becoming too cynical for most movies.

While it's true that our tastes change and refine as we grow older, it's also true that we can become so negative as audiences that nothing is fun to watch anymore. We can so busy nit-picking, script supervising, and just generally wanting to hate the movies that we watch that we never even give them a fair shot. It's so easy to hop on the Negative Nancy bandwagon, especially if you are like me and you haunt sites like AintitCool where the talkbacks can be legendarily heinous.

I thought about this today when I watched 2001's "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" for my own private little tenth anniversary viewing of the movie. (I watch it early every May as close to the original release date as I can. It's just one of my weird OCD movie habits.) This is a movie I fell in love with when it was released because I was still too young to let the cheese-factor bother me. The movie was fun with a strong female protagonist and I just plain had a blast with it. If I were to see this movie for the first time today, I'd probably roll my eyes and leave the theater before the credits even rolled. And my very nature as a fangirl is threatened by that thought.

As a true and lifelong fangirl, the truth is that I want to love things. I want to dress up in dorky costumes and buy Burger King movie toys and put posters on my walls and just let my freak flag fly. The movie theater used to be my happy place.

Just this week in a segmented essay titled "The Void" I wrote this little passage about the way I used to spend time at the movies:

"Black was the color of the movie theater gone dark in the middle of her summer days. For a long moment before the film flickered to life, there was the blissful and quiet moment of air-conditioned darkness, like the beginning of creation. On her days off from waiting tables, in the empty snow globe of her college town, in the hollow skeleton of the empty weekday matinée, this is where you would’ve found her a decade ago. Between her morning running ritual and the fluttering of comic book pages by lamplight at night, she was here. Watching movies. Over and over again. This was preparation. For what, she didn’t know. But in the black of the theater she would whisper to herself perfectly on cue, “Let there be light!” just before the projector finally flooded the theater."

I wrote three passages all about the summer I went to the movies several times a week, and I even titled it "The Void". Yet only today did I connect the subliminal dots that the void in my life is the lack of film.

So this summer, in an effort to put a stop-gap on that bitterness and loss, I'm seeing at least one new movie in theaters every week. And I'm going to see EVERY MOVIE I WANT, full-on popcorn flick or not. Critical darling or box office flub. I do not care. And I'm not gonna take any guff about it. Well...I probably will take some guff about it. But still, I'm doing it anyway and I refuse to be ashamed. Will I still be honest in my reviews? You bet. But instead of looking for what to hate before I even see the movie, I'm going to try to let myself fall in love again.

Will it work? I don't know. I may not be able to turn back the hands of time and go back to the naive 18-year-old moviegoer that I once was. I may not be able to let continuity errors go like I used to or forget the years-worth of film theory and screenwriting classes that are partially responsible for my more refined critical eye. (And that's not a brag. If you love movies, beware learning how to make them. It changes you.)

But I really hope that this little experiment will bring me back to cinematic optimism and celluloid fun, to that subliminal gut reaction that a silly summer blockbuster can trigger in my core. The same one that happens when I'm going upside down on a roller coaster or when I just turned the page to a game-changing story panel in a comic.

I want that feeling back. If you want to know how it's going, watch for any posts with the "Shameless Summer" logo. Those will be the reviews and musings on my experiences at the box office.

I'm starting with "THOR", but what will you see this summer?

Graduation Week - Don't You Forget About Me

2011-05-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

This is my last week of grad school. Needless to say, I'm in full-on eighties high school movie nostalgia mode because of it. So it's only fitting that I post the best ever eighties movie credits song. "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds.

This song is double the wonderful because the lead singer of Simple Minds reminds me of Rick Moranis, who I am not so secretly in love with and it's also associated with one of the best movie characters ever "John Bender" from The Breakfast Club. Who also reminds me of another lovable rebel, Futurama's robot Bender. But I could go on like this forever. ("Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb. My. Gottlieb, Mrs. Claypool. I could go on all night.")

It should be noted that this is one of a handful of songs I always play on the jukebox at my favorite Muncie watering hole "The Heorot". This, "Head over Heels" by Tears for Fears and any of a handful of Talking Heads songs. My song selections typically thrill half of the pub while the other half shoots me daggers. (Metaphorical eye daggers, of course.) So let the week of nostalgia roll forward. Here's the my last ever (hopefully) graduation!

I'll also be watching "Say Anything", maybe "Can't Hardly Wait" and "Pretty in Pink". What are some other great end-of-the-year/graduation movies that might be fun to add to the list? And yes, I know I'm thirty so it's not the same. But still...

Falling Skies - Sneak a Peek at the Show Via the Press Kit

2011-04-29T08:22:00.000-07:00

The contents of the press kit came
wrapped in this eerie newspaper page.
(Don't panic! It's fake.) Though I guess
this also gives you quite the sneak peek at
how I decorate my office walls...

Hi Everyone, hope you are enjoying your Royal Wedding morning. I myself was a bit too busy to watch the actual wedding, but I'm enjoying the recaps over morning internet errands. I feel inspired to write a new list, "Ten Gentlemen of the Movies". Wouldn't it be awesome if we had another run on British culture here in America? It would be lovely to have class be cool here in the states, we need an antidote to the Jersey Shore culture.

Now that I've had my "Clearly I'm turning into an old curmudgeon" moment, let's get back to the matter at hand. The skies are falling. Spielberg has deemed it so. His new alien invasion show "Falling Skies" premieres June 19th on TNT.

If there's one thing Spielberg does well, though there's obviously more than one, it's that any material he's associated with includes in-depth character development. Yes, he deals in genre, but his films and shows always dig deeper into the human condition and how it's affected by aliens or ghosts or dinosaurs or war. Ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances is just one of the topics he tackles so well. To say I'm looking forward to the show is an understatement. So needless to say I was happy when I arrived home last Wednesday to a surprise propped up against my door...

(Preview for FALLING SKIES at the end of blog.)

The press kit for Falling Skies had arrived. Here's the deal with me and press kits...I either love them or I hate them. They are simultaneously wonderful and awful. Wonderful because I'm very connected to that part of myself that screams, "Cool! If when you were a little kid someone told you that as part of your job, networks and movie companies will send you cool stuff to get you to watch their shows and movies and then talk about them, you know you'd be so happy you'd shoot through the roof!"

It looks like I'm showing it to Yoda.

Which is true. I love my job.

However, once you start getting them as a journalist, people can accuse you of letting the neat stuff you get in the mail inform your reviews. It doesn't happen with me. Trust me. I've been kicked off of many press lists for negative reviews. Of course, I can't be certain of this. But whenever I post a negative review, though I never want to be merciless or cruel, I seem to stop getting screeners and press kits from said parent company. (Just ask SyFy who recently posted a review I wrote of "Fact or Faked" on their facebook page without reading it. Suffice it to say, it was a critical review and after over a hundred comments from angry fans questioning why SyFy would post a negative review of their own show, it was taken down. My brief brush with my beloved SyFy left me elated. Then bummed. Such is life as a critic.)

The entire press kit arrived in this
messenger bag with the tag "If You Had
To Start Over, What Would You Bring?"
Makes me wonder what the press kit
for "The Stand" was like back in the day.
Germ vials?

The other thing about press kits, other than the accusations from angry talkbackers, is the fact that sometimes they're awful. I'll put it this way, I've had my fair share of tiny Nerf footballs with logos printed on them sitting in my mailbox.

And I've never reviewed a show about football.

So take this entry as nothing more than a "Hey, check out this cool press kit!" just because I'm so elated to get one so detailed and topically relevant.

I also have screeners for the show, but I won't post my review until the day after it premieres. I don't want to ruin any of the surprises and I'm not a big fan of posting spoilers.

After all that "blah blah blah" about press kits and objective reviews, can I just say that I'm genuinely excited about Falling Skies? It looks like a blast, and admittedly, like the majority of female geeks everywhere, I have kind of a thing for Noah Wyle. (I am not ashamed of The Librarian!) Combine that with the Spielberg sci-fi, the fast paced previews and the character-driven plot line and I'm very excited to preview the show this weekend.

Check out the preview below and tell me what you think in the comments section. Will you watch?

The Fall of Sam Axe - The Joy of Bruce Campbell

2011-04-28T00:41:00.000-07:00

This will be a biased review. I think it's fair that you know that going in. (I may or may not have used Bruce Campbell as material for several grad school assignments in creative writing classes. I'm just sayin'.) Naturally, this tiny little fact informs my opinion of the Burn Notice movie that premiered on USA recently. I was running around EPCOT when it premiered, otherwise I would've been glued to the television like every other Campbell/Burn Notice follower out there. For a summary review, click READ MORE and scroll down to "Get to the Point". For the whole rambling mess, continue on. (That's you Deadites.)

When I finally had the chance to watch Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe today as a re-run (at 10:00 a.m. no less) I was pleasantly surprised. Jeffrey Donovan, the actor who plays Michael Weston (That would be the lead character in Burn Notice for those of you that don't know.) directed this prequel that gives us the back story of everybody's favorite margarita-guzzling retired Navy Seal, Sam Axe.

Not only did Donovan succeed in putting together a coherent story with plenty of action in the typical fun spirit of the show, but he also succeeded in using Campbell's unique talents where so many others have fallen short. Watching this I wanted to scream, "I told you so!" at casting directors across the country. Campbell is funny, a personality in his own right and a master of irony, but this movie should remind people that he can also do this little thing called acting...

Here's the thing about Bruce Campbell...he's funny. Really funny. And he's a cult icon. For those of us that read his books or grew up watching him in the Evil Dead franchise, we know this fact well. And cult icons, as William Shatner or Liza Minnelli may tell you, usually end up relegated to playing themselves in cameos. It's what happens when an actor or an entertainer delivers a character or performance so unique that fans become obsessed with that one part of their repertoire and they want to see it again and again. As you can imagine, this gets them potentially type-cast for life. Not exactly the worst fate a performer can befall, but also probably not the most fun to play.

So often, Campbell gets put into movies for just a moment or two. A moment that slows way down, where the director essentially points and goes, "Hey look! It's Bruce Campbell. You love Bruce Campbell!" And I do indeed love Bruce Campbell. But I also just genuinely like the guy as an actor and I want to see him in more roles for longer durations of time.

I guess I know a little something about this because I grew up with a singing telegram performing mother. A legend in our small Indiana town. And everywhere she went, people expected her to be the life of the party. Constantly. I'm sure that's just one-tenth of what the rich and famous go through, but it's exhausting still to watch her get cornered at family functions or special events like she's a dancing monkey.

And it must be really tempting for directors to ask Bruce Campbell to be the dancing monkey. The guy is a walking money shot waiting to happen. He's great with slapstick but he's got leading man looks and again...icon. While Donovan's direction definitely took advantage of Campbell's massive nerd army of followers in some moments (Campbell with a chainsaw! Campbell being called "the chin"! Campbell saying, "Groovy.") he didn't let that be the focus of the movie. There were just enough of them to be gratifying, but it also felt like we got them out of the way so we could relax and enjoy the movie for what it was.

Sure, I found myself loving the references, but I was also able to just relax and enjoy the story. Instead of feeling like a string of winks and nudges, the plot was cohesive and engaging the whole way through. Donovan gave Campbell the chance to reward loyal fans, but he also gave him the chance to play a character. Sam Axe comes through, as he does on regular episodes of Burn Notice, as someone independent from the Campbell cult.

And okay, I'm trying to play it cool. But I'll just tip my hand here. I loved this movie. It made me want more Sam-centric Burn Notice episodes. It made me want more Burn Notice movies. Heck...I'll admit it, I want to see Burn Notice on the big screen.

Sam Axe playing Robin Hood to some troubled Columbian villagers in a plot that would've been fit for the big screen just worked. There were fist-pumping moments of awesomeness laced throughout with all the good stuff we love from the show...guns, helicopters, spy tricks and just a hint of romantic tension. The writing was note perfect and I wonder if that's because the creator Matt Nix is still involved. So often, shows change hands when they take off. Burn Notice has not only stayed on the rails, but has continued to grow and develop in complexity over each season.

Not to mention any names *LOST, cough cough* but sometimes when a show is so amazing, the creators get wooed away to other projects and leave the show in charge of someone new. With no clear end game, it's easy for TV shows to spiral out of control without their visionary at the helm. Remember the Brady Bunch episode of X-Files? It felt like a true death knell for the dignity of the show. A fun death knell sure, but a death knell nonetheless. There was no going back to that patented nerve-wrecking tension after seeing something as silly as Skinner being levitated in his office in front of four witnesses. But I digress. Big time.

The Fall of Sam Axe makes a natural addition to the Burn Notice canon. It serves the larger story arc of the show in a big way, and I not-so-secretly have my hopes up for a Fiona movie sometime in the future as well.

Get to the Point

Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe felt like a big fat "thank you" to fans, a reward for watching the show consistently over the years. It's all the fun of the spy genre mixed with a distinctly Western-like feel. (Think Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid) This prequel tells us exactly how Sam Axe ended up retired and living the good life in Miami. Bruce Campbell is the Bruce Campbell you know and love, with plenty of in-jokes for fans and his signature narration. But he also has the chance to remind us that's he's not just "the chin", he's also a good actor who can carry a story. Here at last we have a balanced Bruce via Jeffrey Donovan's apt direction. And I don't know about you, but funny is a lot funnier when it's wrapped in a story that actually feels like it has high stakes and a genuinely threatening villain.

Whether you are a fan of Burn Notice or not, whether you know who Bruce Campbell is or not, this one is definitely worth a watch. If it's a reward for loyal fans, it's also a great introduction for new viewers to a show with staying power.

If only all TV was this much fun. Then again, Bruce Campbell can only work so many hours a day...

I'm sorry, I know it's the most obvious thing ever...but I can't resist.

P.S. What's a gal gotta do to get on the press kit list for this show? Anybody...anybody?