12/26/08

Sick Geek = Future Health Nut

So I've been planning for a long time that my next blog would be about how I didn't realize there were people in the world who DIDN'T think Huey Lewis was cool when I was a kid. But that'll just have to wait. Why? Because I want to talk about being sick. Thrilling prospect for a good blog, right? Right! Why? Because if it's one thing geeks are NOT well known for, it's their health prowess. We're well known for sitting on our butts for marathon viewing sessions of Star Wars or MST3K or whatever, and eating anything and everything in sight. Preferably whatever can be delivered. But this my friends, this has changed me. And I mean it this time, I swear.

Like every good Bridget Jones wannabe, about this time of year I start coming up with completely unfulfillable new year's resolutions regarding weight loss and health ideas and exercise and what not. And I was once an athlete of a kind, have run several half marathons and one full, and really enjoy the outdoors and various outdoorsy endeavors like climbing and hiking. So it's easy for me to lie to myself, because I once was very fit and active. So I always think, I did it once, I can get back there again.

Last year, I started an hour-long walk a day endeavor that came screeching to a halt in February when I threw my back out. FAIL. In years past, I've been to the brink of Billy Blank's inspired madness and back again, actually managing to get somewhat svelte.

But this year, THIS YEAR will be different. No longer do I crave my 18 year-old physique. No. This year, I want good health. As I type, I have been sick as a dog for going on 5 days now. As to the cause, it's a total mystery. But I will say that I went to my mother's firetrap...I mean home for the holidays and had a wacky crazy allergy attack. I have been on a downhill trip into a fevered delirium of whatever this is. Likely the flu. Or an allergy inspired sinus infection. Who knows? Poor Jake has been to Walgreens so many times in the past few days. As Norm was to Cheers, so Jake is to the Walgreens.

I am, in fact, so desperate that I am going to try nasal irrigation this very hour. Using a bulbous plastic thingie, I shall attempt to squirt salt water into my nose. On purpose. Many times. And after whatever this is has come and gone, you will see a new me. Because I don't want to have to do this ever again. (Yes, I realize I may not be able to prevent all illnesses, but I can certainly do my very very best to prevent this crusty-nosed, cold-chilled, clammy handed fiend upon me. And at least then I will be able to say, "Well, it certainly couldn't have been helped. I'm as healthy as a horse.")

I vow to take a multi-vitamin every day. To drink shockingly high amounts of water. To do my gentle yoga and pilates like a good girl, instead of jarring my joints with marathon runs...oh how I miss the days when I could run (plod) for literally hours. But there's no sense mourning the past. I shall be a health nut. I shall return to the days of spinach salad and soy milk and whole wheat pasta. I will cook healthy meals for myself and my husband. I will refuse all the free goodies that mysteriously and magnetically float my way.

And knowing me, I will go too far initially. I will likely go to Bob Wiley lengths to stay healthy, then I will probably relapse, then I will find a happy healthy medium that will be at least 10 to 50% healthier than I treat myself now. (It's just the way I do things.)

Because when you're this sick, ALL you want is your health. You can't do anything without your health. You can write, you can't enjoy your favorite episodes of Trek, (As I have been sleeping through them all the past couple of days.) and you can't even taste anything. Where's the fun in that?

I've been sickly all my life, and it's time to find out if that's because I'm just a Fuller who can't help but be puny, or if I'm actually partially responsible for what ails me. Either way, this sick geek is going to try to transform herself into a health nut in the year 2009.

"I'm sailing!"

12/8/08

Martin Bower's Model World

Emailed recently with Martin Bower, UK model-maker extraordinaire. This man's IMDB page does NOT do him justice. He has worked tirelessly in the film industry. He's a model-making wizard, and you HAVE seen his work time and time again. You just didn't know it.

He can’t tell us about his most recent super-secret L.A. projects, or he’d have to kill us. (Or perhaps we’d be assassinated by studio ninjas.) But he CAN talk about his new model-making magazine, a bit about Ray Harryhausen and past film projects, and spells things the British way. Which, let’s face it, is a really nice change of pace...

Martin has recently released his new quarterly magazine, "BOWERHOUSE: Martin Bower's Model World", and is currently nearing completion on volume 2. Learn more about it here http://scifimodels.org.uk/

Bower with Ray Harryhausen

12/6/08

My sincerest apologies

Far too much angsty writing about writing...here, take this as my youtube apology.

Backlogged

I've come into a real dilemma this week. One that a lot of people who live by freelance face. I'm backlogged. I have a lot of completed works pitched and out there, which is good. This means that I've done an essay or an interview and it's either accepted and yet to be published somewhere, or hasn't officially been picked up by anyone. Do I continue to sit on them or publish them here? One wonders...waiting for them to published somewhere else garners me more readers , some income and another magazine title to add to my portfolio. Waiting risks getting me scooped or landing my stuff in the "irrelevant" pile.

Also, I've been sitting on about a dozen essays about women in action films for a book I was planning to self-publish in January. A few more than a dozen, but I haven't decided on an official final chapter list yet. Actually, let me give you some of my chapter titles. There's the obligatory introduction, table of contents, and usual what-not. A few chapter examples would be...

Dames
In Defense of Lara Croft
Marion Ravenwood
The Bride Slashes Revenge Films
The Case For Geena Davis
Aliens: A Feminist Drama
X-Women and Other Mutants
Uma and Anjelina
Eowyn
Bond Women Don't Count
Princess Leia and THE Bikini

Each chapter isn't just about a character or an actress, but talks about specific topics raised by the films discussed within that chapter. It's a little book. And it's not just, "Oh man, have you SEEN Kill Bill?" It's an honest effort on my part to sort through the slim pickens of popular action films for or featuring women, and make sense out of those offerings. I'm proud of it, even as it's still taking shape. What's the dilemma then?

Well, I'll have a column at a new website launching in January called, ForcesofGeek.com. I'll retain the rights to all my columns, so I could very well publish a shortened version of each essay as a weekly column and then use those columns to try and garner some form of interest toward the book.

I've got plenty to write about either way, but sometimes I grow weary of "saving" all my best writing for my book. Especially when I deal with gripping paranoia, every single day, that some writer somewhere will hurry up and publish a much better version of my essays somewhere else, and I'll be called a fraud. This is a common fear that rears it's head ALL the time for me, and I'd wager lots of creative types. "Someone will beat me to the punch, I just know it." In fact, I'm paranoid about even publishing the names of my chapters...silly, I know. Writers are notoriously insecure. So are geeks. I'm both, you do the math.

Do I use December as a final push to get this book together and self-publish it in mid-January-ish (One can never promise...) or do I go pitch crazy and auction off bits and pieces of it here and there now for some publicity/peace of mind/freelance street cred?

I need to make a decision, because sitting on all this material really did a number on me this week. I felt totally blocked. Writers shouldn't be left alone with their own material for too long. It's not healthy.

12/5/08

Conan Daydream

Jake and I were constructing a puzzle last night, and through some random turn of conversation we got to what it would be like if I tried to write for Conan O'Brien. (The puzzle? Yeah, people still do that. It's what happens when people who desperately need to feel a sense of accomplishment get bored.)

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about how I can add even more ridiculous aspirations to my portfolio of unrealistic dreams. Why stop at scriptwriting large adventure films that will likely never get made? Why not explore every facet of my deepest literary desires? That way I'll have even more to be justifiably bitter about when I'm old. So of course, I need to add writing for the Conan O'Brien show to my list.

I'd be the ultimate failure at writing for Conan for a plethora of reasons, but I will only acquaint you with a few. For one thing, my jokes would be too obscure. Obscure jokes are just a way for nerds to hide their insecurities, so they can have a reason to laugh at someone else for a change. As in, "What? You don't get it?" Point, laugh... And I don't think t.v. shows are going for the antagonistic vibe right now.

Last night, the only idea I could come up with for a Conan skit on the spot was about a man who uses pick up lines on women from Digital Underground songs. As in, "Hey fat girl, come here, are you ticklish?" And so on and so forth. That's right. A 20 year old joke. It took me my entire life to come up with that one. So obscurity and timeliness would definitely hinder me.
And they'd never let me on the show. I'd desperately try to claw my way onscreen, again, for the attention. But I'm rotten at impressions. For example, regarding the afformentioned 20 year old joke, my version of the lead singer of the Digital Underground sounds like the Sugar Smacks frog.

So maybe I don't have a future writing for Conan, but maybe by some miracle...I'll become more witty over the next few years and end up at Second City or the Groundlings...and then, maybe someday...

Because I may not be textbook funny now, but I AM always willing to make a fool of myself. And that's got to count for something.


12/2/08

Festive Food

I do believe that the mutli-colored lights and decorations of our Christmas tree are inspiring me to eat more colorful foods. Why, just today I had two bowls of fruity pebbles (Correction: the generic "fruity jewelz" with a toothless pirate on the front of the box, how appropriate.) and many handfuls of M&M's. It's not my cravings for sugar and lack of self control over the holidays that cause the weight gain, no no. It's my desire for a rainbow of pigment in my edibles. Yep. That's it.